Prejudice, Questions and Answers, Human Rights Violations, Intersex Awareness, Intersex Erasure, United Nations

We are not rare!

I have a dear friend of mine who is an intersex survivor.  His name is Jeffrey A.  Benedict, and he has allowed me to share this with you today.   Like many of us intersex people, he has had those moments where he felt like the only one.

This world wants you to think we are rare.  We have been forced into shame, secrecy and taught to hide in the closet even.  One day, Jeffrey wanted to know if it was true.  So with Google one day, he came up with what you will read below and proved it is a myth to believe intersex is rare.  We are not rare!   The “I” will not stand for invisible anymore.

According to current statistics Intersex effects 1.7% of the world’s population.  This means we are as common as people with red hair.  So, everyone has met an intersex person, you just might not have known you have.

The world’s population is 7.5 Billion, so 1.7% of 7.5 Billion equals out to 127,500,000.00. People! 

So there are 127.5 Million people on this planet that were born Intersex.

In others words, it would be as if everyone in China’s three largest cities was born Intersex. Guanqzhou pop: 44,294,245 Shandhi pop: 35,965,403 Chongqing pop: 30,165,000 Total 110,424,648

And we still got room for 10 million more here ( in other words 10 million short).

I could also be as if everyone in India’s four largest cities was born Intersex.  Mumbai pop: 12,442,373 Delhi pop: 11,034,555 Bengaluru pop: 4,301,326 Hyderabad pop: 6,731,790 Total 34,510,044, and this does not even come close.  In fact, you would need all of the twenty-five most populated cities in India to be born Intersex to equal the actual number of 127.5 million!

It would also be as if everyone in America’s most populated States was born Intersex. California pop: 39,250,017, Texas pop: 27,862,596, Florida pop: 20,612,439, New York pop: 19,745,289.  Which is a total 107,470,341, so there is still 20 million Intersex people left over (20 million short).

As if every person in Japan were born intersex population: 126,670,000  (and we would still be about a million short).

As if every person born in Mexico were born Intersex population 123,364,426

As if every person in the Philippines was born Intersex population 104,718,00

As if every person in Germany was born Intersex population 82,800,000

As if every person in Iran was born Intersex population 80,493,700

Last, it is as if every person in Russia was born Intersex as long as you don’t count the Crimean peninsula which the Ukraine claims to be theirs.

There you have it.  We are not rare! 

Thank you, Jeffrey, for putting this in a perspective that anyone can wrap their mind around.  You can read about Jeffrey’s intersex story here:  Learning I Am Intersex 5 Years Later

Here is the United Nations Intersex Fact Sheet.

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Gender, Human Rights, Intersex Awareness, Self-Determination, Transgender

A Penis and a Vagina does not Create our Gender Identity

I like to teach that gender is our personality and that a penis and a vagina does not create our gender identity. We are not assigned our personality, we just become it. Just like becoming left or right handed, or being able to be ambidextrous and use both hands.  We now trust a child to choose if they are left handed, right handed or ambidextrous when they are very young.

This analogy of handedness can be used when an intersex child is born both and even holds true for any child.  It holds true even if they are born with an endosex (not intersex) body.  All children figure out their gender and they do it relatively young and before they even start grade school.

My Thoughts Regarding Intersex Children:

Here is the United Nations’  intersex FACT SHEET.  I believe that genitals, reproductives systems, hormones, and chromosomes will never create our gender identity.

If we just relax and wait, I promise the baby will let the world know.  All of us who were assigned wrong at birth have all proven that no expert, no chromosomal test, no MRI, CatScan or blood test can determine the gender of any of us 100% of the time.   Yes, sometimes surgeries are medically necessary, but most the time they are only cosmetic and have horrible consequences.  This means a lot of errors have been made and permanently so with non-reversible surgeries.   I know too many un-happy intersex people to prove the experiment of assigning our gender surgically has failed miserably and has to stop.  The obvious solution is to wait and let the baby decide their gender.

My Thoughts Regarding Transgender Children: 

If we gave self-determination of gender to all humans, the diagnosis of gender dysphoria and the label ‘transgender’ would vanish too.   It is our culture that has decided what genitals belong to what gender.  Anything outside of that expectation is now called gender dysphoria.  When I feel it is truly a case of cultural dysphoria around genitals and gender.  However, the label transgender is very important to our culture right now, so we have to take on the discrimination that us transgender people face very seriously.

Yet, in the perfect world, if we gave self-determination to everyone, no one would have to transition or be diagnosed to do so.  Birth Certificates would now only take note that a human was born.  My friend, Mo Cortez, Intersex Advocate from Houston, once shared that maybe our blood type could be put on our birth certificate in place of male or female.  Is our gender marker truly necessary on our birth certificate?  Many feel it is not for many reasons.

One last note: Self-Determination is a human right, and only with consensual adults should genital cosmetic corrective surgeries be performed.  No government should dictate that an adult trans person has to have gender confirmation surgeries to validate their identity.  Surgery should remain a personal choice and not a requirement for a transition from one gender to the other.  Sex reassignment surgeries are also a solution for severe forms of gender dysphoria and should always be available to those who require it.  The World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) states: 

“The medical procedures attendant to sex reassignment are not ‘cosmetic’ or ‘elective’ or for the mere convenience of the patient. These reconstructive procedures are not optional in any meaningful sense, but are understood to be medically necessary for the treatment of the diagnosed condition.”

Back to Intersex Natural Variations: 

Right now intersex variations are diagnosed as medical conditions.  When they are truly just naturally occurring natural bodily variations.  Can you imagine if we gave a diagnosis to male or female?  It is no different.  Intersex is the biological sex of an intersex person.  Just like anyone an intersex baby can grow up to have any gender identity, gender expression or sexual orientation.   Surgeries are not going to keep these things from happening.  Yes, there are going to be gay, lesbian, and transgender appearing intersex kids and people, and the world has to get over itself.

A Gender Self-Determining World: 

If all children were no longer taught that their genitals made them a boy or a girl, and genital integrity was taught early on, wouldn’t this be a better world for intersex, transgender, and non-conforming people?  I believe that ‘no body is shameful’ and that a person can be the personality of any gender:  male, female, both or neither.

I also believe that it is not just intersex kids that need to learn that nobody is shameful.  It is all of us humans, especially transgender children.  Whom I feel are also being coerced to think they need genital surgeries when they grow up.

If everyone was given the self-determination of their gender, we might be very surprised to see a world emerge “gender nonconforming”: 

There are three ways to be a gender non-conformist:

1) Our physical bodies appearing both or neither.  We can be born biologically endosex (not intersex) or intersex.

2) Our Gender identity (our personality as male, female both or neither).

3) Our Gender Expression (how we dress, our hair, or appear to this world).

We can have one, two, or a mixture of these.  As you can see there will be many words and labels that describe all these states of being too.  I hope for a world that can evolve to stop thinking genitals create our gender and we can all just simply be with genital integrity.

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 Fix Society, Please.  

 Helpful Definitions of Human Sexuality

 

Fix Society with Angel Feather
Hope for a Better World.

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Intersex Phobia, Prejudice, Transphobia

Examples of Transphobia, Queerphobia, ​and Intersexphobia

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The following are a few examples of transphobic attitudes (note that sometimes these examples below can be examples of Queerphobia too):

  1. The belief/insistence that trans women are not “real women”
  2. The belief/insistence that trans men are not “real men”.
  3. The belief/insistence that non-binary genders are invalid and do not exist.
  4. The belief/insistence that transsexual people are gay people in denial and wish to have sex reassignment surgery to attempt to restore ‘heteronormativity’.
  5. The refusal to acknowledge a trans person’s true gender.
  6. The refusal to use the correct name for a trans person.
  7. Repeated and deliberate misgendering of trans people.
  8. The Exclusion of trans people from activities, services, or conversations.
  9. The belief that being transgender means you are mentally ill.
  10. The belief that conversion therapy and psychiatric manipulations, can somehow “cure” a transgender person.
  11. The belief that transgender means you are a sexual deviant or a pervert.
  12. Thinking that forcing a transgender person to use the bathroom of their birth-assigned gender will “protect” women and children, even if in reality it is actually increasing the chance of violence inflicted on the transgender person.
  13. The belief that a transgender person is an abomination or a sinner.
  14. Insisting that a transgender person must be confused about their own gender.
  15. The belief that we have to be segregated and not allowed in sports or gym class as our transitioned gender.
  16. The belief that we are somehow a danger in locker rooms.
  17. Not being able to participate in sports as our authentic transitioned gender, due to a perceived advantage, only due to our birth assignment not matching our true gender identity.  This happening even after complete hormonal transition.

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The following are a few examples of intersex phobic attitudes:

  1. Having problems with the word “intersex” because it has the word “sex” in it.
  2. The belief/insistence that intersex bodies are a disorder, syndrome, birth defect, or a condition, even when told that intersex is about having natural bodily variations.
  3. The belief/insistence of the medical community to continue their medicalized effort to eradicate intersex people from society by “normalizing” intersex bodies into more typically male or female bodies in order to maintain sex and gender norms.
  4. The belief/insistence that we are not lovable unless our bodies are hormonally or surgically fixed to conform to male and female sex and gender “norms”.  Which leads to violent discrimination, acted out through non-consensual genital surgeries on children.
  5. The belief/insistence that a person of the female gender cannot have a larger clitoris, phalloclitoris, penis or testicles.
  6. The belief/insistence that a person of the male gender cannot have a vagina, vulva, or ovaries.
  7. The belief/insistence that XY creates a male and XX creates a female.  When intersex XY women exist, and intersex XX men exist.
  8. The belief/insistence that intersex bodies do not exist and we are mythological.
  9. The belief/insistence that all intersex people are freaks, sexual deviants, perverts or pedophiles.
  10. The belief/insistence that intersex people are trying to trick or deceive you when referring to their true gender identity.
  11. The belief/insistence that gender is created by our genitals, reproductive system, hormones, and chromosomes when gender is more like our personality and can not be accurately medically determined through medical tests or lab work.
  12. The belief/insistence that if we are assigned the wrong gender, then we would have to be considered transgender if we emancipate our true gender later in life.  (This I feel is up to the person, and not to doctors, family or society).
  13. Intersex Erasure in the mainstream and alternative media.
  14. Intersex Erasure among the LGBT groups, in not wanting inclusion.
  15. Regulations against intersex female athletes (with high levels of natural testosterone) which require them to undergo medically unnecessary, “feminizing”, medical treatments such as hormone therapy, in order to compete as women.
  16. Feeling that intersex female athletes, who have higher natural testosterone,  are somehow breaking the rules, and are in need of punishment or treated as criminals.
  17. The belief that we are born a sexual abomination, while at the same time sexualizing intersex infants due to homophobia and transphobia.
  18. The assumption that if you are intersex that you must be gay.
  19. The assumption that all intersex people are unhealthy and/or mentally affected.
  20. The assumption that we must truly be transgender when we are not.  Only some intersex people identify as being both transgender and intersex.  It has to be up to that intersex person to determine this not society.
  21. The belief that we are not “real” women or “real” men, due to our intersex bodies, chromosomes, or hormones.
  22. The belief that we are somehow a danger to people in public bathrooms or locker rooms,  and being segregated out of gym class, or forced to use the nurse’s station’s bathroom in public schools as students.
  23. Being forced to use gender marked facilities that do not match our true gender identity, like locker rooms or bathrooms.
  24. As children having our bodies photographed without our consent, by doctors or predators, and later finding them published in medical journals, or on various websites, without our permission.

Please feel free to E-mail me if you would like me to add one.

Thank you!  

 

My related blogs:

The FEMALE PENIS and the MALE VAGINA; and explaining this to our children.

Five ways I show that the Male/Female Binary is a Myth, and a Social Construct. Nature has always Created Sexual Variety and Diversity.

Seven Names for the SAME thing: Penis, Phallus, Clitoris, Phalloclitoris, Micropenis, Microphalus, and Clitoromegaly.

 

Helpful References:

United Nations’ Intersex Fact Sheet

The Phalloclitoris: Anatomy and Ideology By Cary G. Costello

What is Intersexphobia or Interphobia?   By Hida Viloria

 

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Civil Rights, Human Rights, Intersex Activist, Intersex Awareness, Intersex Erasure, Relationships, Short Messages

Stop Erasing us.

It is always interesting to me how some people would rather end a relationship, and sometimes end a long term friendship, than try to find in their hearts room for another type of person or culture. I become raw with it all.
It doesn’t matter even if they are blood and family. It doesn’t matter of they are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. The rainbow does not always agree. I assure you! I have actually had an easier time changing the hearts of fanatical Christians, than the hearts of an LGBT person that depends heavily on a male/female gender binary to justify their existence.
I lived your reality for 46 years, and it almost killed me. I refuse to agree with this delusional world, when it comes to gender. Yes, to me it is a delusion, if it erased my right to exist in this world.
It’s societies turn to change. I am done conforming to a world that literally erased my right to exist, when I was standing in front of you! No, it doesn’t take an “open mind”; it takes common sense. If your mind is closed or not doesn’t matter to me. More like, OPEN YOUR EYES! When you open your eyes, you are no longer allowed to call me a disorder! How else do you describe my existence? The male/female binary is a social construct. It is not even based on good science if it is harming innocent children born intersex to this world.
I stand my ground. I change culture now so that little kids born like me have a place in society. WAKE UP WORLD! It is time to stop erasing us, mutilating us, aborting us, devaluing us, and outcasting us!
I long for that world that celebrates our birth. www.anunnakiray.com
Sincerely, Mx. Anunnaki Ray
Emancipation, Freedom, Human Rights, Intersex Awareness, Self-Determination

Once assigned female: I am very proud to be a little man now!

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Sharing my thoughts for today, and something that might surprise you!
Lots of guys might have shame being a shorter stature. According to statistics, a man is “short”, if they come in under 5’7″ in the USA. I am 5’5″! I have absolutely no shame or body dysphoria. I know I am fortunate that way!
So many people with non-conforming bodies and atypical genitals are not so fortunate. Be it if we are born intersex with natural bodily variations, or call ourselves transgender, this world can be a cruel cold place for those of us who have bodies that do not conform to “typical”.  This sometimes creates body dysphoria and gender dysphoria.  If you are wondering what intersex is, please go to this link:  United Nations’ Intersex Fact Sheet.
Being raised the wrong gender, as female, all my life, I have had this obsession with shorter men. More than likely because I was taught at three and four that I was not allowed to be a boy.  It would not be until the last two years of my life that I figured out that I had been lied to!
Starting as a young teen, I even memorized the names of famous, short-statured, male actors and rock stars even!  As an unusual teenager posters of some of these shorter men were tacked onto my pink bedroom walls.   Well, obviously you could see why I had this short man obsession!  Now that I appear a little dude, and legally so!   I am absolutely celebrating my life more!
My entire existence has improved!  I have a life now!  I sadly lived the majority of my life with major depression and being tormented by psychiatry and doctors.  My genuine existence had been completely erased.  Half my life is over now, however, I now have HOPE, and can live my genuine and authentic self now!
I hope my story, along with many other stories, is a lesson learned to all the doctors, psychiatrists, and parents out there.  You can read more about me here. 
We do not need to be fixed! Just let us be, please.  Fix Society Please instead!  
 THREE CHEERS to the Self-Determination of our own Gender and Autonomy! 
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Some of my thoughts about the self-determination of gender, that you might be interested in: 
Fix Society I don't have gender dysphoria
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Intersex People, Poems, Prejudice, Questions and Answers, Transgender

Poem: Over 50% would have died.

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Over 50% would have died.

I just survived what most would not have.

No I do not like this world.

It is a cruel and cold place for intersex people and transgender people.

Most would not have switched their gender to save their lives.

I can’t respect that.

I just survived what most wouldn’t have.

I sit here envying that death would have been easier for you.

I sit here wondering why I chose to survive this hell.

Most would not have switched their gender.

I can’t respect that.

I just survived what most wouldn’t have.

I sit here wondering if death would have been easier.

I sit here wondering why this Earth is so fucked up!

Why is it that over 50% would chose death, over saving their life like I did?

I am supposed to learn this and just sit here and do nothing.

I can’t respect that.

No, I will not sit here and do nothing!

Why is that?

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By Mx. Anunnaki Ray

April 5th, 2017

Why I wrote this poem:

This poem was written in response to finding out that over 50% of my friends and family would have died, like I would have if I had done nothing.  Yes, over 50% would have died, over saving themselves, like I did.  They would have refused to change their gender and how they appear to this world.  Please note that Sex and Gender are not the same thing.  When I refer to gender I refer to how we identify as male, female, both or neither.  When I refer to gender I am also talking about how this world perceives by our gender expression (how we dress or appear as to other).

To me gender is like our personality.  Sex has to do with genitals, reproductive systems, hormones and chromosomes.  Some people are born dyadic (typical bodies), and some people are born intersex.  Both dyadic and intersex people can have any gender.  I believe that the two do not, and will never be the same definition.  I believe that the self-determination of gender is a human right.

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Cosmetic Genital Surgery, Human Rights Violations, Poems, United Nations

Poem: STOP the Unthinkable!

Normalizing interventions

done to our bodies and to our minds.

Unthinkable, and yet it is still allowed to happen.

Unthinkable, and yet the medical complex still gets away with it.

And here we are having to stay calm!

When it is simply unthinkable!

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Here we are trying to teach you,

so that culture will stop doing the unthinkable!

 Here they continue to chop up the genitals

of innocent babies and children.

Claiming to ‘fix’ them.

Yet, it is Unthinkable!

And then telling us that our genitals don’t match our gender.

Who the hell are you, to destroy so many lives?

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And here we are

Holding the bag of damaged goods.

A life you claimed to have fixed, that was thrown away to the wolves.

And here we are a mess!  Being labeled transgender,

due to your not thinking our genitals are right.

We are simply asking for genital integrity!

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Please stop hurting us!  Hell yes, I am angry!

You get away with the UNTHINKABLE,

and I am told to behave and stay calm!

So angry tears fill my eyes with rage!

That kind of anger!  Do you know that kind of anger?

Or does your privileged life

even know that kind of pain?

HOW DARE THIS WORLD TRY TO ERASE US

into EXTINCTION! 

EUGENICS and GENOCIDE! 

STOP!!!  

cutting us,

castrating us,

mentally terrorizing us,

abandoning us,

and aborting us!

STOP the Unthinkable! 

By Mx. Anunnaki Ray

March, 1, 2017

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Here is the United Nations’ Intersex Fact Sheet.

Here is the United Nations’ Page for LGBTI+

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