Poem: Was it my penis?

The void

of emptiness.

A hole in my heart.  

Was it your assumptions,

your embarrassment,

your shame?

Why won’t you call me a friend now?

Was it my beard,

my penis,

my appearing a gay man now?

You said I had lied to you when I appeared a woman.

Why did my becoming an intersex man make me lose my innocence?

♠

I am told it is not about me.  

It’s about you! 

Then tell me I say!

Because I don’t get this form of cruelty and abandonment.

♠

Once, I had many girlfriends who would talk to me daily as a mom. 

I never felt alone like this.  

Never.

You then learn I was born a hermaphrodite.

Now nothing.

♠

Now, nothing, I say,

but lonely broken people coming to my inbox.

Apparently, intersex dads don’t get to have women as friends.

And cisgender heterosexual men don’t talk,

it’s a cultural thing apparently.

The land of the misfit toys.

♠

Come on!  Was it because of my penis?

TELL ME!  

I want to know…… 

how can I fix this if I do not know?

Is it even mine to fix?

♠

Maybe a trans woman or

a trans man, or

the bearded woman would know.

♠

Tears fall……..

Here’s the thing, I know I am not alone.

There are many of us!

♠

I even educate your world now.

….and yet I write this alone.

♠

Fix Cultural Dysphoria Please.

 

By Mx. Anunnaki Ray Marquez

November, 13th, 2018

---

Why do I feel like A VISITING ALIEN?

Poem: The Alien and the Empty Bucket

~.V.~