Bridge Building · Celebrations · Human Rights · Intersex Awareness

Making History! PFLAG of Jacksonville, Florida, includes INTERSEX.

Garry Bevel President, PFLAG of Jacksonville, and Frieda Saraga, Board of Directors, and Founding Board Member of PFLAG of Jacksonville, have been absolutely amazing to work with.   Both have accepted me, with open arms, and have listen with care, when I felt intersex should not be left out by the acronyms LGBT or LGBTQ.   They have not only listened with care, they have acted on it.

On January 19th, PFLAG of Jacksonville, made it possible for me to educate our city by giving  a presentation about the importance of intersex inclusion, and how to do that responsibly.

After that talk, they clearly could now see the need  in this city for the parents of intersex children, as well as us intersex adults, needing more support here.  So, today I have agreed to serve as PFLAG of Jacksonville’s  Director of Intersex and Gender Education!  

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Left to right:  Mx. Anunnaki Ray, Garry Bevel, President PFLAG of Jacksonville,  and Frieda Saraga, Board of Directors, and Founding Board Member.  The Yellow and Purple flag is the Intersex  Flag, that was created in Australia, that I have chosen to promote here in the USA too.  Please “like” on Facebook:  PFLAG of Jacksonville

 


You can read more about my position here: 

Mx. Anunnaki Ray, Director of Intersex and Gender Education for PFLAG of Jacksonville

Position Description and Purpose:   About those who are born intersex and the common language used in speaking about intersex lives. Raise awareness about intersex human rights and how those rights are often violated. Offer outreach and support for the parents of intersex babies, or children, in Jacksonville, and guide them to the appropriate organizations that will reinforce Self-Determination of gender of their intersex child.  This is to avoid misinformed, unnecessary, and non-consensual medical intervention, saving physical and emotional lives.

My Goal and Objectives:  Educate PFLAG about the importance of intersex inclusion, and how to include intersex responsibly; while including the understanding of the prevalence of intersex, and erasure of intersex experiences. Distinguish intersex (natural bodily variations, from typical male and female dyadic biological sex), sexual orientation, gender, gender identity and gender expression.  Provide workshops and trainings to PFLAG of Jacksonville and their local agencies.

Strategies and Evidence-Based Support:

  1. United Nations Intersex Fact Sheet: https://www.unfe.org/system/unfe-65-Intersex_Factsheet_ENGLISH.pdf)  
  2. Oii USA, and Executive Director Hida Viloria:  (http://oii-usa.org)
  3. InterACT, Advocates for Intersex Youth (http://interactadvocates.org)
  4. Additional support from, Judi Herring, M.D.

Tasks initiatives:

Promote the use of common, affirming language, in regards to descriptions of gender and  sexual minorities.  This would include:  Biological sex (Dyadic Sex and Intersex), Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity, and Gender Expression.  Encourage shifts in medical and business cultural humility and intersex inclusion.


Memories of my PFLAG Presentation on January 19th, 2017:

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For this PFLAG presentation I also played two videos:  Judi Herring, M.D.’s, TEDx TALK:  Gender Bound, Lessons From the World Between, and Dr. Tiger Devore’s Interface Project Message “No Body is Shameful”.  Everyone also received an Intersex Fact Sheet, from the United Nations.  

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Here is my autobiography: About Mx. Anunnaki Ray

Blogs that guide in adding the “I” responsibly to LGBT: 

  1. Adding the “I” responsibly to LGBT
  2. The difference between transgender and intersex and the harm that wrong language can bring
  3. INTERSEX Erasure Hurts! Examples of Misguidance from Doctors.
  4. Doctors call us a disorder, defect, or syndrome, when we are born. We are simply INTERSEX.

Please “like” on Facebook:  PFLAG of Jacksonville

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Bridge Building · Human Rights · Human Rights Violations · Intersex Erasure · Relationships

Adding the “I” responsibly to LGBT

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A letter I shared on: Mx. Anunnaki Ray, Gender/Intersex Activist Facebook Page:

Sending a note, to simply say thank you again, for listening, and sharing this page. It is sometimes hard for people to hear about a culture different than their own, especially when daily the news can be so depressing and unimaginable.
I have actually discovered that since LGB are already marginalized, it is sometimes harder to get through to LGB people than typical people. Transgender are a lot easier, actually. I think because they are even more marginalized that LGB, and they too face drastic choices ahead of them when it comes to genital integrity and owning their true selves.
At times, I would rather give a talk to a room full of Baptists, closed minded people, than LGBT Equality workers. I don’t know if they will ever have it in their hearts, or energy to responsibility add the “I” here in my city. But until then some of us find it a blessing. Because instead of saying LGBT, those of us further outcasted and marginalized can say “LGBT and INTERSEX”. We get to say the entire word. That is pretty amazing actually! Because then questions are asked, and one can educate.
I used to think LGBTQIA+ was showing true inclusivity, and still am very proud to see that happening in some circles because it shows total inclusivity! But then I realized it could be just a careless act of adding letters, and not paying attention to the horrid atrocities we face with erasure, eugenics (abortion), and genocide (forced sterilization with non-consensual surgeries). It woke me up fast! YIKES! Please, please, do not add the “I” carelessly.
So, with all this said, since some of you are intersex allies, and messengers now, never forget to share about these atrocities, when you tell a person to add the “I”, or when you add the “I” Let this world know the horror allowed in the USA, and pretty much everywhere around this world.
This is the United Nations’ Fact Sheet, any intersex ally should study this at least once. Notice how they say “natural bodily variation”, for one, instead of “disorder”, “condition” or “syndrome”. Notice also that they validate the torture happening, with intersex genital mutilation (IGM), and ask this world to STOP. In changing speech we change culture and save bodies and lives.: The United Nations: Intersex Fact Sheet/Free & Equal
Again I thank you all,
Mx. Anunnaki Ray
www.anunnakiray.com
#StopIGM #UnitedNations #NaturalBodilyVariations #WeAreHuman #WeArePeople #HumanRights

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Bridge Building · Celebrations · Emancipation · Freedom · Gender Nonconforming · Human Rights Violations · Intersex Activist · Intersex Awareness · Questions and Answers · Relationships

The two of us, born intersex and named ‘Antoinette’ at our birth.

God-incidence or Serendipity? 

What ever you call it, it felt like a miracle.  

I was finally coming to terms with who I was as a human being.  This was after having a life time of not feeling real, and being thrown away by many doctors, therapist and psychiatrists, who had tried to ‘fix me’.  

I was an Intersex human being.  Not male, not female, something in between.

The fact is, back in the late 60’s, when I was born I was assigned a girl.  My mother had once shared she wanted a little boy named Anthony, but instead she would have to turn that name into:

Antoinette

My nickname as a teen ‘girl’ would later become

Toni and Ant

Little did anyone know, somewhere around the world in Australia, another miracle was born intersex.  They too were named a girls name, and assigned female and that name was: 

Antoinette 

And their nickname would later become

Tony

And here we were, meeting on Facebook for the first time, March 2015, and have become dear friends ever since!  Wow! 

Here is that story: It was October 2014, when I finally decided I would never do the things to conform as a typical women ever again.  I had gotten very sick and disabled.  Doctors did not know how to help me, and most had given up on me and  I had gotten used to be patient abandoned for not wanting to endure their medical regimen. I quickly became sexually taboo.

I did not want to lose my beauty.  I always felt like an androgynous person.  I emerge from  a wheelchair, and a cane.  Disability had become my reality.  I was sleeping in my house, up to sixteen hours a day in a hospital bed, because I could not even lay down flat anymore.  I felt I might die.  I received my disability by my country even.  I wished for death, that is for sure, and everyone who knew me back then knew how sick I had become.

I then figured out I could get better eating a special diet and by changing my hormones and by honoring my own truth. Soon after that I started to search other people born intersex like me.  There they were, the two articles about Tony Briffa, from Australia.

At first glance, I did not see the coincidence at first.  

I read, and there it was, their birth name:

Antoinette 

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When Tony Briffa was seven years old doctors in Australia made a choice that was never theirs to make – castration.
Tony was born with healthy testes, as well as a vagina, and doctors decided it made more sense for Tony to live life as a woman – called Antoinette.
But Tony – who was born intersex – never felt comfortable being a woman, or a man for that matter.
“Nature – many would say God – made me a healthy hermaphrodite… I tried my best to be a woman but I couldn’t keep up the lie forever. Something was going to give.
“At 30 I rejected what the doctors had done to me and started living life as a man. I was open about my past, about the way I was born, and what doctors had done to me. Now, at the age of 44, I am comfortable explaining I am both a man and a woman,” Tony tells Times of Malta.

Taken from: ‘Healthy Hermaphrodite’ is both man and woman

And another one about Tony Briffa

At birth, Tony Briffa’s doctors couldn’t determine his gender. He had a rare intersex condition known as Incomplete Testicular Feminisation that made his gonads release estrogen even though he genetically tested as male. So on his doctor’s advice his parents raised him as a girl named Antoinette—they painted his room pink, gave him dolls at Christmas and made him wear frilly dresses to school.

The frequent hospital visits for hormone therapy and surgery made him feel like a freak: his parents had him castrated at age seven and even though he told his doctors as a pre-teen that he felt like a boy, they ignored him and continued administering female hormone therapy, something that filled him with desperation and thoughts of suicide as he entered his teenage years.

Taken from: The Amazing Heartbreaking Story of Tony Briffa, The World’s First Openly Intersex Mayor

That day I wrote Tony.  I was confused back then after being guided by misinformed doctors and psychiatrist.  My first notes to them no doubt reflected such confusion.  To my doctors here, I remain a disorder, a syndrome and a medical condition.  They were  even trying to convince me I was transgender.   The medical system in the USA can be very confused about intersex and gender.

I knew one thing, without permission from those who had been surgically violated, I was not going to use the word “intersex”or “hermaphrodite”.   My heart was secretly broken by what has happened to their bodies surgically, without consent as a child.   I did not want to offend anyone.  I had been violated, but it had been mostly by psychiatry.  My physical body remains whole, what would they say?

So, with much bravery I also reached out to six amazing people born intersex: Tony Briffa, along with Tiger Devore, Ph.D.,  Cary Costello, Hida Viloria, Gavan H. Coleman, and Pidgeon Pagonis.  Six of the most tolerant and loving people I have ever met on this Earth.  Around that same time my path would also cross with Judi Herring, M.D., who had created the TEDx months before meeting me: Gender Bound, Lessons from the World Between.   This too, will always feel like a god-incidence and serendipity!  Judi and I have been working together ever since September 2015.  Together we have done public talks, speaking to schools, visiting the city council, and have even spoken to the human rights commissioner here in our city.  We have become very dear and close friends.

Wow, with the opinion of all of them,  I  learned that I was not born a “freak”,  a “disorder”, “syndrome”,  or “condition”, and I surely  was not “mentally derange”!  With that permission, and blessing form all of them, and with Judi Herring, M.D. standing by my side,  I became empowered!  I decided to tell the world I too was born intersex, and share my intersex story .  It has been a huge honor to add  my message to theirs in ending tragedy from happening to one more innocent child.

One thing that is most amazing, is that all of us have two big things in common.   First, we all find it very special that we were all born BOTH  male and female, and most of all we like to celebrate it.   All of us are also  gender nonconforming too,  but in different ways!   To me that is serendipity at it’s best!  

The second thing we have in common, is we all have over came so much trauma, due not conforming to the male and female binary.  With that experience and pain, each of us have taken all that ugliness, and all our  bad experiences,  and now help the world with it. 

So there you have it!  

Two people born with natural bodily variations, known as INTERSEX, with the same birth name

Antoinette!  

Planet Earth is an amazing small place when you start to think about it!   

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Mx. Anunnaki Ray November 2016

Thank you for visiting my intersex story!  

You can read here:  Why did I named myself Anunnaki Ray.

Please also visit the UNITED NATIONS’ INTERSEX FACT SHEET, to learn more about intersex violations and what you personally can do yo help us end it. 

UNITED WE WILL CHANGE THIS WORLD!


End Note:  An intersex person can have any gender identity, and any sexual orientation.   Also, our biological sex does not equal our gender.  I believe that the Self-determination of Gender is our Human Right, and that our sexuality should not be decided for us as children,  our parents, by medical, psychological experts, or the government.   


You can watch Tony Briffa here with their life story here: 

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Bridge Building · Celebrations · Intersex Awareness

The Global Free Hugs With Intersex Movement comes to the USA!

My friend, Hiker Chiu started the “Global Free Hugs with Intersex movement” 全球擁抱陰陽人運動; in Taiwan.   I am honored, and with their blessing,  I will be bringing their “Free Hugs with Intersex movement” to the United States!  

On October 1st and 2nd, 2016, with my intersex friend, Shane Evert, we plan to give hugs during the PRIDE PARADE, and Pride Festival here in Jacksonville, Florida.

Here are the t-shirts we will be wearing that I designed with the help of Custom Ink.  We will also both be carrying the yellow and purple intersex flag.  

Shane and I do this to help end intersex erasure in the United State, and in  our city of Jacksonville, Florida.  We promise to share pictures of these events, and all our hugs, soon!  I will be sharing pictures, of the two of us giving hugs and marching in the parade, on my blog, and as well as on my public Facebook page: Mx. Anunnaki Ray Gender/Intersex Activist Public Page.

If you would like to follow Hiker Chiu’s movement, here is the Public Group on Facebook:  Global Free Hugs with Intersex Movement.  

Here is Hiker Chiu’s Story 

Along with pictures of their “Free Hugs With Intersex” Campaign below:

“Hiker Chiu is a Ph.D student in human sexuality at Shute University. At a gay rights parade in Taipei last year, Chiu held a placard that read “free hugs with intersex.” On Chiu’s ID card, the word “female” was written in the column for gender. However, Chiu also has male sexual characteristics such as adam’s apple. In an interview with RTI, Chiu gave a detailed account of a long and harrowing experience that was often filled with helplessness, solitude, confusion, sadness and sometimes even shame. Chiu’s parents were very supportive, but they knew very little about intersex. Doctors are not helpful at all because they are reluctant to discuss the issue with their patient. The social stigma attached to intersex people is so strong in Taiwan that Chiu had virtually no one to talk to when growing up. In September of last year, Chiu visited Organization Intersex International (OII), the trip later helped pave the way for the establishment of a Chinese-language website for intersex people.”

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October 1st, 2016, pictures of Jacksonville, Florida’s Pride Parade with Shane and I giving hugs, with our “Get Hugs From Intersex” t-shirts on, and the Intersex Flags: 

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You can read more about this flag here: The Story Behind this Yellow and Purple Intersex Flag

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Bridge Building · Intersex Awareness · Intersex Erasure

Here is another sad example of Intersex Erasure:

Recently they have been trying to get the senate to pass a bill that would require Sex Ed to be LGBTQ inclusive.  This would be progress, this would be awesome even.  However, it still does not include intersex, nor the teaching of our intersex bodies. It is another example of intersex erasure.  Below I explain how this hurts us people born intersex.

By changing culture and educating about us intersex people, it is my hope they will stop surgically, hormonally, and medically erasing our bodies at birth, and during our lives.  The abortion of healthy intersex babies might stop too.  Our births would no longer be so scary, stigmatizing and create so much fear.  The world would learn that no body is shameful.  Please help us intersex activists, speakers and educators end inters erasure.  Allowing our bodies to co-exist on this planet can only happen if we change culture, and educate this world.

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You can read the above article here: Senate Bill Would Require Sex Ed to be LGBTQ-Inclusive, Medically Accurate

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When did I get sex education about my body:

I did not get taught the truth about my body until I was 46 years old, and this is just wrong. It lead to my being suicidal, self hate, being raised the wrong gender, being an outcast, being medically abused and violated, misunderstood by my family, and being abused by society.   I know other intersex have experienced the same thing.  Intersex erasure can end lives.

Most of my education, about my body, came from other intersex educators and activists.  Such as Cary G. Costello, and Hida Viloria.  My doctors did not even teach me the truth about my body, until I fortunately met two new doctors recently.  They have helped me finally makes sense out of my body, and my gender.

In this country many still say it is ok to say “Disorder of Sex Development”, or even call my condition a “syndrome”.  Even if we flower it all up and say “Difference of Sex Development”, by changing the “D” to mean something else,  it still  stigmatizing in my opinion.  I would rather be called a hermaphrodite, before being called “DSD”.  However,   hermaphrodite is also a word that some intersex people find very stigmatizing.  So please always ask if it is ok to say hermaphrodite.  A few of us don’t mind it, some of us do.

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To me my biological sex is simply “intersex”.

I am simply an intersex person, or an intersex man.  The truth is, when describing biological sex (our physical bodies),  we have female, male and intersex.   At this time an intersex person can not accurately mark their sex on any government forms  yet.  There are only two boxes.  I am not allowed to mark both boxes and their is no third option.  I personally wish all the boxes would vanish.

We Offered to educate the schools and were told “NO”:

As an activist and educator I offered to educate our schools, with Judi Herring, M.D.,  in our county, I was told it was “adult content” to teach about intersex. That they would never allow it. How can teaching about the varieties of biological sex, and the truth about it be adult content? It is not.  The same county then went to teach all the 6th graders about the dangers of sex predators and “sexting”. Which I agree needed to be done; but this was seen appropriate and not “adult content”.

So, what is my sex, gender, gender expression, and sexual orientation: 

I will end this blog with a bit more education around being born intersex.  To be born intersex has nothing to do with our gender. An intersex person can have absolutely any gender. They can be cis-gender (agree with their birth assignment), typical female or male, gender fluid, gender queer, inter-gender, transgender, and so many more. We can also have any sexual orientation (who we prefer to have sex with), or gender expression (how we dress).

For me my gender could be described as “androgynous male”, “Non-conforming male”, or even “gender queer”.   I am ok with all those.  My gender expression is mostly conforming to male, but a bit more extravagant and androgynous.  My sexual orientation would appear Heterosexual when I appeared female to this world, but now would be assumed “gay” now that I appear male.  I think “intersexual” could be used as a sexual orientation to describe my husband and me.  I write about that here: Is my husband gay, now that I appear a man? I will use “Intersexual” as a Sexual Orientation and Are my Husband and I Gay Men Now? How We Became Sexual Minorities, Our Intersex Love Story.

Here is another link that might interest you in learning more about human sexuality: Helpful LGBTQIA+ Definitions of Human Sexuality

Thank you for reading, and helping us to change culture, and make this world for all of us.

Intersex Erasure HURTS!

Here are five different intersex flags seen around the world. 

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Bridge Building · Intersex Activist · Poems

When the Colors of this Rainbow Fight

I am a Gender/Intersex Activist.

I entered this world to help you change things.

and yet I am excluded, talked badly about, and hurt by your lies.

When the Colors of this Rainbow fight,

it hurts this world, not just me.

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I am a Gender/Intersex Activist.

I was hurt by this world like you were, but in a different way.

This world shit on us both.

Both of us made to feel broken,

because like you, they tried to fix me.

When the Colors of this Rainbow fight,

it hurts this world, not just me.

Please Stop!

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I am a Gender/Intersex Activist.

I want the corrective surgeries on intersex babies to stop,

just like you do.

So why would you step on me?

Why would you stand in my way?

Why would you say lies about me?

Why would your heart be filled with so much hate,

and you try to publicly hurt me?

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When the Colors of this Rainbow fight,

it hurts this world not just me.

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I come in PEACE.

I come in HOPE.

I come with LOVE.

I am making an impact.

I educate this world about our Human Rights.

I am changing this world.

Not just for me,  for all of us.

For the babies.

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So please end your phobias, your fear,

and learn to walk together.

Stand on this Bridge with me.

I truly hope your heart will heal.

So we can help these babies together.

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When the Colors of this Rainbow fight,

it hurts this world not just me.

Please Stop.

We are Human.

By Mx. Anunnaki Ray

July, 17th 2016

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My promise to this world:  

Poem: I Promise to Be Your Voice: My New Year Resolution for 2016

More poems I have written: 

Gender/INTERSEX Poems I Have Written

A Blog that relates to this poem:

I am a BRIDGE BUILDER

13731564_522305577965585_5457799191404629325_n-1If You Have Been Brutaly Broken... Nikita Gill