Human Rights · Intersex Awareness · Intersex Erasure · Prejudice · Relationships · Science · United Nations

The male/female binary is a Myth!

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I am a man, with a few boy parts, that most call girl parts. But that is only because they believe in lies. They are all boy parts if they are my parts, because I am a boy.  I might be non-conforming, but they belong to me, and my legal gender is male.  As for my biological sex, it is intersex, and not even acknowledged by my country . The government has erased me.  The doctors shoved me into the female box at birth.  My birth certificate to this day can not demonstrate my true biological sex.  I was not born dyadic, I was born intersex.

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I will feel human, when I get my human right to exist.  I will take on the name of a human, and not that of an alien, when my government allows me to exist without calling me a disorder.  I have a natural bodily variation, according to the United Nations.  I was never a disorder, or transgender even.  I was born a boy, from day one.

Our self-determination of gender is about human rights.  It is time this world stop hurting, and torturing people born intersex and transgender.  It is time this world stopped equating genitals, reproductive systems, hormones and chromosomes with our gender.  It is a lie, a myth, and scientific proof, show that I stand before you, and other intersex people stand before you, and all of us prove this myth 100% false.

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No chart is perfect, but I still like this one.  Shared from: www.ItsPronouncedMetrosexual.com
If a person realizes that “intersex” means countless Natural Bodily Variations and they mix this with the other categories, you literally can have countless varieties of human walking around this Earth!
If they #StopIGM and forcing us intersex people into binary boxes. (Intersex genital mutilation). It is obvious that genitals, chromosomes, hormones do not make up our #Gender.
The #UnitedNations says that our #SelfDetermination of gender is about #HumanRights!  #WEareREAL!  #WeArePeople!
#WeAreHUMAN!
It is time we bust the male/female #binary. It is simply a myth folks! Not everyone is born #Dyadic. Dyadic means you were not born #Intersex.

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Being rejected by my family because of what I represent when I speak up for my intersex cousin who was mutilated.

The two of us, born intersex and named ‘Antoinette’ at our birth.

The FEMALE PENIS and the MALE VAGINA; and explaining this to our children.

Seven Names for the SAME thing: Penis, Phallus, Clitoris, Phalloclitoris, Micropenis, Microphalus, and Clitoromegaly.

I was born with an Intersex body, but this does not create my Gender or my Sexual Orientation.

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Cosmetic Genital Surgery · Hate Crimes · Human Rights · Human Rights Violations · Intersex Awareness · Prejudice · Relationships · Self-Determination · United Nations

Being rejected by my family because of what I represent when I speak up for my intersex cousin who was mutilated.

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I have an intersex cousin who was born about ten years after me. They allowed a surgeon to cut off their child’s phallus for no good reason. They allowed themselves to be talked into the utterly crazy belief that all there is to being a woman is to be missing a penis.  Worse, this surgeon had no regard to a woman’s genital integrity and her right to orgasm.

The truth is, intersex people exist and the female penis is very real.  If they were even a female, we will never know.  Their chance to self-determine their own gender taken from them too young.  They died broken, very sick, and at nineteen.  I will not refer to them by name.  They never got to share who they were, they never received self-determination.  That human right taken from them by doctors who reinforce a myth, the male and female binary.

Everyone of us is born with a phallic organ, and every human has one for a reason, and the reason is not always reproduction.  It is for sexual pleasure.  Most humans are born with the ability to orgasm, and it is their human right to keep this ability to orgasm!  Not all of us have a phallic organ for reproduction!  Dyadic Females are a good example of this!  The clitoris is a phallic organ.

When they remove the clitoris in third world countries everyone gasps, and yells out “TORTURE”!  Yet, these same surgeries where they cut it down or amputate it,  are called “intersex corrective surgeries” everywhere else, and are allowed to happen in the USA, Australia, Canada, United Kingdom, Ireland, and pretty much everywhere in the world right now.

So, when I called my family to talk about this cousin of mine it was so disheartening. They can’t stand to even look at me.  The phone never rings, I am as good as dead to them now.  I am a double abomination in their Christian eyes.  I went against my assigned gender as female, and I now appear a gay man to this world, and yes my husband and kids are happier.

Their implicit and explicit bias profound, and yes that icky feeling of cataplexy came over me with their judgement and conviction.  Their hate for me now  is a reflection of their hidden shame for agreeing with this surgical torture that was allowed to happen to my cousin.   They did not know better then, but now that they do.  None can look me in the eyes now.

I am now healthier, happier, happy and intact!  My very existence convicts them.  It’s a hell of a sad story, and important cautionary tale, but if they can’t deal with me, it’s really no surprise!

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My promise to this world where I mention my mutilated intersex cousin:  

My New Year Resolution for 2017

Seven Names for the SAME thing: Penis, Phallus, Clitoris, Phalloclitoris, Micropenis, Microphalus, and Clitoromegaly.

The FEMALE PENIS and the MALE VAGINA; and explaining this to our children.

Christian Theologian Megan K. DeFranza, A True Ally and Bridge Builder

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Please read the United Nations’ Intersex Fact Sheet

Stop IGM = Intersex Genital Mutilation 

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Hate Crimes · Human Rights · Intersex Awareness · Intersex People · Prejudice · Short Messages · Transgender · United Nations

Dear Ally, It is your responsibility to keep us safe, and here is how.

Gender Etiquette 101 Misgendering

This meme was not created so much for me, since I am OUT publicly. I created it mostly for those who deserve to live stealth lives and not be outed. They did not ask for it like i did, and to be “OUT” is not always safe.
Now that I am a public figure, and like many intersex or transgender activist, or advocates, I have shared with the world in order to change this world! I have shared things about myself that most could never imagine sharing about themselves.
Please, if you know me, it is your responsibility to make sure I remain safe. Since my story is out there, don’t gossip about me! Instead, Educate, educate, educate! It is only by changing culture that we make this world safe for all the babies born intersex or transgender.   I strongly suggest you use resources from  United Nations’ Free & Equal Campaign  to accurately advocate for your LGBTQIA+ friends.  The United Nations’ offers many sheets you can print and hand out.

Last, and most important, there are countless others, who are not “OUT”,  and should not have their lives destroyed by rumors, gossip, or people sharing about who they are without their permission.   They are not activist, or advocates, and they deserve their privacy and safety.  So if you are privileged to know an intersex or transgender person, please protect their right to dignity, privacy and safety.   One simple rule of thumb: Always ask the person before sharing.
Here is the intersex  and LGBT Fact sheets created by the United Nations.  These two sheets are an excellent resource to print and share around.  Here they are below in the links provided.

  1. Here is the United Nations Intersex Fact Sheet 
  2. Here is the United Nations LGBT Fact Sheet 

Here are my other Gender Etiquette 101 memes:  Anunnaki’s Gender Etiquette 101

THANK YOU, for helping us to make this a safer world, and to educate and change culture!

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Cosmetic Genital Surgery · Human Rights Violations · Poems · United Nations

Poem: STOP the Unthinkable!

Normalizing interventions

done to our bodies and to our minds.

Unthinkable, and yet it is still allowed to happen.

Unthinkable, and yet the medical complex still gets away with it.

And here we are having to stay calm!

When it is simply unthinkable!

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Here we are trying to teach you,

so that culture will stop doing the unthinkable!

 Here they continue to chop up the genitals

of innocent babies and children.

Claiming to ‘fix’ them.

Yet, it is Unthinkable!

And then telling us that our genitals don’t match our gender.

Who the hell are you, to destroy so many lives?

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And here we are

Holding the bag of damaged goods.

A life you claimed to have fixed, that was thrown away to the wolves.

And here we are a mess!  Being labeled transgender,

due to your not thinking our genitals are right.

We are simply asking for genital integrity!

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Please stop hurting us!  Hell yes, I am angry!

You get away with the UNTHINKABLE,

and I am told to behave and stay calm!

So angry tears fill my eyes with rage!

That kind of anger!  Do you know that kind of anger?

Or does your privileged life

even know that kind of pain?

HOW DARE THIS WORLD TRY TO ERASE US

into EXTINCTION! 

EUGENICS and GENOCIDE! 

STOP!!!  

cutting us,

castrating us,

mentally terrorizing us,

abandoning us,

and aborting us!

STOP the Unthinkable! 

By Mx. Anunnaki Ray

March, 1, 2017

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Here is the United Nations’ Intersex Fact Sheet.

Here is the United Nations’ Page for LGBTI+

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Human Rights · Intersex Awareness · Intersex Erasure · Questions and Answers · Self-Determination · United Nations

The FEMALE PENIS and the MALE VAGINA; and explaining this to our children.

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Our kids are proof that it is about educating male/female binary, and intersex erasure, that messes up the truth around natural bodily variations existing in us humans.  You see, our children were taught that intersex bodies existed, as soon as I realized I was not a disorder and was actually born intersex instead.  Yup, they were taught about the female penis and the male vagina.  They were taught that sometimes a woman can be XY, a man can be XX, and those other chromosomal variations of human exist too, like XXY, XX/XY, XO and so many others.  Here is the United Nations’ Intersex Fact Sheet, if you have never heard of intersex before.

You see, naturally, humans come with many variations of genitals, reproductive systems, chromosomes, and hormones.  It simply is the way nature planned it all.  We are a variety of human.  It is that simple.

My kids had to actually learn that the male/female binary is what the rest of the world believes.  After learning about intersex, it blew their minds that there were just two options:  Male or Female bodies.

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Now, imagine teaching your children that you have been erased by this world.

That there is no box for me, few doctors that will see me even because I am taboo.  It truly sucked for them, my husband and for me.  They felt violated themselves and angry and scared for me!  We lost our home trying to chase down a doctor, across the country that would treat me. Yes, I was medically abandoned by doctors and told I was no longer patient compliant when I refused to do what they asked of me to appear female.

It is hard to explain to a child that there is NO box for their type of father.   That it is the world that messed up.  That it was not my body and not my hormones that went wrong.

My children naturally never felt it was ME who had to surgically conform to this world.  I believe that most children naturally know we want our genitals the way we are born!

That is why when people asked: “how are your kids taking it?”, when I emancipated my gender, we shared that they were HAPPIER!  In the typical male/female binary world, it is devastating though.  But most assumed otherwise and thought:  “OMG! How horrible that those poor kids just lost their mother!”   Typical people also immediately assumed I would be having genital conforming surgeries too when I do not.   We can just imagine the gossip. We lost countless friends, who could not cope with it.

Everyone also assumed my husband, of twenty-eight years, would leave.  I was so disabled and sick, that he too gained his sex partner back.  I was asexual for over a decade, due to doctors giving me no choices.  We had become roommates.  So when people asked:  “How is he taking it?”, it was an insult to me!  Yes, things changed socially changed dramatically for our family,  but it was not the end of the world.  It was the beginning of a new healthier life as a couple!

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To see more pictures of my husband and me together, please go to: I was born perfect, and I am lovable. Thank you, United Nations.

To an intersex person, like me, and some of my intersex friends, like Tiger Devore, gender is all a “gender performance”.  A phrase that Tiger likes to use, and created to explain what I am saying here today.  So, my kids did not lose a thing. They gained a healthier parent who now had a different gender performance for the world!   I became “Vader” to them, another word for father.

I did not die when I faced certain death if I had continued on appearing female.  It is the male/female binary world that thinks things are so rigid and so concrete that the sky falls when one changes that performance.  And this is sadly why we lost so many friends and family.

The Mythical Hermaphrodite! 

Some think me to be a mythical hermaphrodite too.  Thanks to how this world brain washed me too, all my life, I don’t feel magical, I feel like a guy with a ‘mangina’.  A word that the famous transexual, Buck Angel, says to describe his amazing male body.  I feel like a gestational father too, words my intersex friend,  Cary G. Costello, uses to explain away us guys who can grow a baby within our wombs.  I am a “womb man”, I was never a woman.   I am a “seahorse dad”.  For it is the seahorse father that gives birth.

So world, can you make room for the female penis too?

With us intersex people it exists  Yup, my urologist calls it a penis now that my gender has changed to male!  So that means, for forty-six years, before I appeared a male to this world I had a “female penis”.   I am the same person, yet when I appeared female they denied calling it that.   You can read this blog about the intersex ‘penis’ and all the shapes and sizes they come in:  Seven Names for the SAME thing: Penis, Phallus, Clitoris, Phalloclitoris, Micropenis, Microphalus, and Clitoromegaly.

I know many intersex girls who have a penis, and this world should not threaten cutting it off either.  Due to intersex erasure, eugenics (surgically taking away an intersex person’s fertility with non-consensual childhood surgery), and genocide (aborting us when detected before birth), most female penis’s or large clitoris get removed.  I know many transgender girls too who have a female penis.  They should not feel they have to lose theirs too, to be validated as real women.  It sickens me that transgender children are taught to believe that they are in the wrong bodies, but that is another blog.

For us intersex people, Genital integrity is all we want. Our life as our ‘true selves’ is all we want.  We simply just want the right to be LOVED the way we were born:  INTERSEX!    We simply want the human right to sexually experience OUR INTERSEX GENITALS, uncut and unharmed too.

The United Nations stands with us Intersex People now.  

The United Nations declares that intersex erasure and the torture of non-consensual childhood surgeries stop! 

It is time to allow the female penis and the male vagina and without shame.

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A meme from InterACT, that I want to give more notice to, so include it in this blog.

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Thank you for visiting my blog today!

Together we change this world, one message at a time.

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Anonymous Messages · Human Rights · Human Rights Violations · Intersex Awareness · Short Messages · United Nations

An Anonymous Message From an Intersex Survivor of Non-consensual​ Surgery.

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I want people to see what I get to see as an intersex advocate, educator and as a friend.  I received permission to publish this heart breaking response from a Facebook friend of mine who has survived non-consensual surgery as a child.  It was in response to the meme you see above:  

I am trying, it kills me to think that it’s still happening.  If only people knew what happens and what happens later on in life.  It’s a jail sentence for a crime us intersex individuals have to face in every aspect of our lives.

This cruel medical practice must stop, and I say to any mother or father in a position of having to make a choice on the matter please, please I beg of you with tears in my eyes, love you child, love them completely, love them with all the night in your heart, but please don’t destroy their body.

It’s a hard life, and a mental Truma I live with every day of my life.  Please all you need is to love and accept that your beautiful baby is normal and is not a deformative disorder.  Intersex is beautiful.

This person will never get restitution.   At this time only Malta and Chile have out lawed non-consensual corrective surgeries on intersex infants.  Below is what the United Nations says about it:

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Here is the United Nations’Intersex Fact Sheet

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Related Blogs about Malta and Chile (Flag Pin shown above): 

When will the rest of the world catch up with Malta?

Chile outlawed unnecessary Genital “Normalizing” Surgeries on Intersex Babies! 2nd country to do so since last April 2015, when Malta was the first.

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#StopIGM = Stop Intersex Genital Mutilation 

#NoBodyIsShameful 

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Cosmetic Genital Surgery · Intersex Awareness · Questions and Answers · Transgender · United Nations

The difference between transgender and intersex and the harm that wrong language can bring

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MX. ANUNNAKI RAY, GENDER/INTERSEX ACTIVIST: EDUCATOR, WRITER & SPEAKER·WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 11, 2017
My thoughts for the day:

Language is very important, and language can do harm. Here is one example to why:

The biggest priority most intersex activist/advocates/educators have, like myself, is decreasing genital mutilation in babies born with intersex traits and decreasing our bodies being aborted when detected before birth.

This means “Born in the wrong body” transgender theories, can do us harm. This is one example of why I educate.

An intersex advocates message is: “No body is shameful” and “born perfect”. Instead of saying disorder, the United Nations wants us to say: NATURAL BODILY VARIATIONS. I like to say we are born a “variety of human”. I urge anyone who is wanting to speak up for intersex rights to please read and memorize these two pages given by the UNTIED NATIONS: INTERSEX FACT SHEET

Also, Although some intersex born people may accept the word “hermaphrodite”, that word too, can bring stigma, and shame, due to it being connected to a medical history of misinformed doctors who justified fixing our bodies due to some of us being labeled “pseudo hermaphrodite”. Always ask before using this word. It is always safest to say: “Intersex Person”.
The words we use to stop genital mutilation and abortions from happening are a vastly different from how most transgender people are being taught, or may feel about themselves and their, bodies and their genitals. Most psychiatrists, councilors and doctors are teaching “born in the wrong body” theories and that transgender people need to “transition” through hormone manipulations and surgery to correct their “body dysphoria”.  Although some transgender people truly have body dysphoria, and benefit from treatment, some do not. The same truth holds true for intersex people. Everyone’s experience is unique to their own and generalizations are never a good idea.

Here lies the problem, the medical and psychiatric communities are teaching these theories even to the parents of intersex babies, and children. Even us adults, who discover later in life that we were born intersex are being taught these theories. The harm is horrendous. The set back in our movement is great.

Here lies the biggest difference between transgender and intersex. It is a mountain of misinformation, we are up against, when it comes to saving bodies, and lives, so that we can simply be born with “NATURAL BODILY VARIATIONS” and co-exists our true gender in this world.

An intersex person can have any gender identity, and according to the social construct of gender, it is not always going to “agree” with our genitals. So this means the self-determination of our gender has to be our choice. This choice needs to be a fully informed choice, and should be given to any child born intersex. Here are some examples of the different gender identities an intersex person can have: Gender Identity.

Thank you, Mx. Anunnaki Ray

To learn more, here is an excellent link regarding the “Basic Differences between Transgender and Intersex“, shared from Oii Australia.

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An added note:   Some, but not all transgender people elect to have Sex Reassignment Surgeries (SRS) or Gender Confirmation Surgeries.  This can involve just doing “top surgery”, which involves masculinizing or feminizing one’s chest; or the more involved “bottom surgeries”, that help the person to align with their genitals to the expectations of the male/female binary.  Also, some intersex people, but not all, can also identify as transgender and intersex both.   It is up to the person how they describe themselves, and not up to others.

Sad to say, these types of surgeries are also performed on infants and children, born intersex, and is often called “corrective surgery”.   As you now understand, self-determination is a human right, to what surgery a person may or may not want.  The United Nations says that cosmetic genital surgeries, and corrective surgeries,  need to stop in non-consensual infants and children.  

Related articles: 

Trans Persons Posing as Intersex (and the damage they do to intersex rights)

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