Bridge Building, Civil Rights, Cosmetic Genital Surgery, Human Rights, Human Rights Violations, Intersex Awareness, Prejudice, Self-Determination, Transgender, United Nations

Every Human Deserves Self-Determination

Earth at night - Asia

It is impossible for me to please everyone in the intersex and transgender community.  MLK Jr was NOT liked by all in his community. He moved forward anyway.  I do the best I can to respect everyone.

I always say:  when you have met ONE intersex person you have met ONE intersex person.   Some of us are cis-gender (agree with our birth assignment) and heterosexual, and not needing nor wanting the support of the LGBTQ+ Rainbow.  Yet, some of us appear LGBTQ+ and want those added supports.  It is a balancing act as an educator of Gender/Intersex topics, and as an activist to try to please everyone.  I have the best intentions always and am always open to suggestions.  You can write me in the contact form below.

I  do what I am doing mostly to save children from nonconsenting cosmetic genital surgeries and to teach the world to give ALL children the self-determination of gender.

I am not doing this for financial gain obviously. I am doing this to save children. I am not doing this for fame, to be a rock star or to be the most popular. I am doing this for children. I have made it very clear to the world that it is our self-determination that is a human right.

I have never excluded a soul, not even those who are NOT intersex. I say: Gender/intersex for a reason.  Gender Identity/Biology.   Both different but work together.  This means I include transgender in my human rights quest. 

All humans, regardless of their biological sex being endosex or intersex, have the right to self-determine their own gender identity, gender expression, and sexual orientation; and it should have NOTHING to do with their genitals, reproductive system, chromosomes, and hormones unless THEY want it to be about that.

No human being should be aborted, physically mutilated, psychiatrically violated, or coerced into having surgery due to laws, social stressors to conform, or being a psychosocial emergency. Those who conform should NOT be the only people who get privilege in society while casting out those who do not conform violently.

For those adults who do elect to have genital reassignment surgery, it is also our human right to alter our bodily appearance.  However, these surgeries should never be done on non-consenting intersex children or due to the coercion of government laws claiming we have no choice but to do so to change our gender identity.

Last,  I feel it is our human right to be who we are naturally, as intersex or transgender people,  and to not have to abide to social rules at the cost of losing our fertility, orgasm and genital integrity.  Unless of course, that is our choice to do so as a consenting adult.

I do not care how one labels themselves, or how one is diagnosed. Human Rights are Human Rights violations and this world has to stop hurting people.

 

Imagine What Seven Billion

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Civil Rights, Human Rights, Intersex Activist, Intersex Awareness, Intersex Erasure, Relationships, Short Messages

Stop Erasing us.

It is always interesting to me how some people would rather end a relationship, and sometimes end a long term friendship, than try to find in their hearts room for another type of person or culture. I become raw with it all.
It doesn’t matter even if they are blood and family. It doesn’t matter of they are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. The rainbow does not always agree. I assure you! I have actually had an easier time changing the hearts of fanatical Christians, than the hearts of an LGBT person that depends heavily on a male/female gender binary to justify their existence.
I lived your reality for 46 years, and it almost killed me. I refuse to agree with this delusional world, when it comes to gender. Yes, to me it is a delusion, if it erased my right to exist in this world.
It’s societies turn to change. I am done conforming to a world that literally erased my right to exist, when I was standing in front of you! No, it doesn’t take an “open mind”; it takes common sense. If your mind is closed or not doesn’t matter to me. More like, OPEN YOUR EYES! When you open your eyes, you are no longer allowed to call me a disorder! How else do you describe my existence? The male/female binary is a social construct. It is not even based on good science if it is harming innocent children born intersex to this world.
I stand my ground. I change culture now so that little kids born like me have a place in society. WAKE UP WORLD! It is time to stop erasing us, mutilating us, aborting us, devaluing us, and outcasting us!
I long for that world that celebrates our birth. www.anunnakiray.com
Sincerely, Mx. Anunnaki Ray
Civil Rights, Gender Nonconforming, Intersex Awareness, Questions and Answers, Relationships, Self-Determination

Why when I go to the Emergency Room I mark Both the male and female box.

 

It is important to understand that for me, being born in the middle as intersex, I need to be medically and socially recognized, as both male and female, to get the proper care I might be needing if I show up at the hospital emergency room, or have to be hospitalized.

First of all, my body is not that of a typical dyadic female or dyadic male.  It is typical for a person born with natural intersex variations.  That is because my biological sex is intersex.  I have not been operated on, and my reproductive system, and genitals have not been altered.  So, my doctors need to know that when examining me, or if I am having problems with my reproductive system, they are going to see things that are not typical.  For example, my ovaries do not appear typical at all when viewed by ultrasound or CAT scan and my skeleton/pelvis is not that of a dyadic women.  I have strange looking ovaries, but am not in pain unless I was ovulating and that was acceptable to me since I wanted to keep my fertility.  Many experts have seen ovaries and immediately suggest that I must be in pain all the time and need immediately surgery, now that I appear a man.  I also have other atypical things going on within my reproductive system, that have never became a medical emergency.  I refuse to have surgery if I am not in pain.  If my ovaries are ok, they will remain in my body to continue to release the natural hormones they were created to do the job for.  I do not have body dysphoria, and want my genitals and reproductive system to be left alone.

Second, my gender, and how I feel my personality to be, is very non-conforming.   Socially I need to be respected as being intersex too.  I may appear either a female or a male in my mannerisms, and my appearance.  My body is very androgynous and it can sometimes confuses people.   I am often mixed up as being transgender even.   Since I am a 46 XX intersex person, that appears a man to this world now, they need to know that too, and that I want to hear male pronouns, or neutral pronouns.  That just because my chromosomes say I am a “girl”, doesn’t mean I am a girl. I am an androgynous, inter-gender, non-conforming male, and have genitals that are not typical to either a typical male or a female.

Third, I legally changed my gender marker to male on my driver’s license, but purposely kept my legal name my birth name, Antoinette.   My birth certificate remains the same as when I was born too.  So, when they see me, they see a female legal name, and a male gender marker.  This immediately honors who I truly am, and they are then I ask them to use my nickname, to address me, since I obviously do not relate to being an “Antoinette” anymore.  Those nicknames being “Ant”, or “Nnaki”.  I also prefer that they use Mx., instead of Mr. or Mrs.  I have never had problems with them honoring this.

Last, I will not be changing my birth certificate to male.  I want to wait until I get the right to change it to intersex.   Right now I do not have that legal ability to do that easily.  I am waiting for this country to catch up so it will not be such a battle. I greatly appreciate those intersex activist that are making this a possible reality in the future for all of us!

Related Blogs:

The two of us, born intersex and named ‘Antoinette’ at our birth.

Seven Names for the SAME thing: Penis, Phallus, Clitoris, Phalloclitoris, Micropenis, Microphalus, and Clitoromegaly.

Mx. Anunnaki Ray and They, Them, Their.

Why did I name myself Anunnaki Ray?

The male/female binary is a Myth!

Here is the United Nations’ Intersex Fact Sheet

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Civil Rights, Human Rights, Human Rights Violations, Intersex Activist, Intersex Awareness, United Nations

My New Year Resolution for 2017

Dear World,

With as much sincerity that I can prove to you, In 2017, I will continue my work in trying to change culture, educate this world about gender and intersex, and make intersex awareness.  For 2017, and with the United Nations, I move forward.  I wanted to write a new poem for 2017, but when I read my  Last New Year Resolution, I could not come up with better words.  I became very emotional and deeply saddened even.   So I share with you again below, my promise and my plea to this world, and will do so until we receive our human rights.

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I Promise to Be Your Voice

I read about you, in Africa, sweet angel now in heaven.

They cut your penis off, and you bled to death. Your family blamed all the bad things of the world on your birth. That you were supposedly a curse to this world, simply because you were born intersex. They left you for dead, and then you died broken in your hospital bed. Where even there they would not care for you right and no one visited you. Sweet man, I am so sorry this world did that to you, and wanted you to be a girl.

I promise to be your voice.

My sweet intersex cousin, who was born ten years after me.

They name you Paul, then they turned you into Paula. What the hell were they thinking? I am sure they justified cutting yours off too. But they were doctors, and got away with it. It was no doubt, for your “own good”. Your parents loved you. There were no laws to protect you. You died too young. I never did get to meet you.

I promise to be your voice.

To all those transgender people who ended their lives.

Because their bodies were supposedly wrong; such sorrow and pain. To be outcasts, and thrown away from your family. To be hated by those who should have loved you the most. To be raped, beaten, medically abused, and murdered too.

I promise to be your voice.

To the sweet little boy who I use to be.

I remember your tears, your shame that you did not appear as your brother. His body was so different, and yet the same. He was given the family name to keep; you lost your right to that one. How they made you feel less than, broken, delusional and insane. They sent you to doctors and psychiatrist to fix you. They locked you up, cut on you, and poisoned your body. This world made you feel you had to live the life of a woman. Your sister and countless others disowned you. It did not matter that it almost killed you. You can finally come home to your body now, and be whole.

I promise to be your voice.

To all those countless victims, violated, past and present. There are just too many to count. That even the United Nations has stepped up to try to stop the tragedy of it all.

I promise to be your voice.

To all my dear intersex friends, who have been violated just as horrifically. Your human rights taken from you, because there were no laws to protect your body.

And now, you somehow survive to shout from the roof tops….

I promise to add my voice to your voice.

Together we will be heard!

This world simply has to stop.

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Until our human rights are given, this Promise is made again for 2017!

By Mx. Anunnaki Ray

Republished again:

December 31st, 2016

(New Years Eve)

You can visit the original here:

Poem: I Promise to be Your Voice: My New Years Resolution for 2016.



To learn more about Intersex Human Rights Violations please go to:  

United Nations: Intersex Factsheet (Free And Equal)

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About: Mx. Anunnaki Ray  and my Blog.

 My Photographic Stories

My Intersex Poems

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Civil Rights, Freedom, Human Rights, Poems, Prejudice

Poem: The Alien and the Empty Bucket

 

I am 100% alien,

until law says otherwise

I could die without my human rights

African American Slaves  were called animals
Law had to finally say otherwise

The Civil Rights movement changed things

Black Lives Matter

They are human

If I die with human dignity

having full human rights

It will have to be given to me

I can not take what the government

will not give

to those of us born intersex

It is

an empty bucket

I can not own what is not mine

It is

an empty bucket

I will fight for my human rights

I will fight for our human rights

I will insist on it

I will declare it as mine even…..

But, I will not own it

until it is given to me

I can’t….
because it is an illusion to do so
an empty bucket

I could die

an alien

By Mx. Anunnaki Ray

December 14th, 2016

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United Nations INTERSEX Fact Sheet

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Related Blogs: 

Why did I name myself Anunnaki Ray?

Why do I feel like A VISITING ALIEN?

Related Poems: 

Poem: I AM A MAN

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Anonymous Messages, Bathrooms, Civil Rights, Human Rights, Intersex Awareness

An Anonymous Message From a Parent of an intersex child: What happens with the bathrooms when she grows up?

The Anonymous Messages

What happens with the bathrooms when she grows up? 

I often share the messages of parents to help change culture.  So you can hear their words, and not just my own all the time.  I do hope you take the time to read this one.  It is heart crushing.  This world has to stop the genital assignment of gender.  Errors are being made, and they are not rare.  The United Nations has declared genital correction surgeries to end.  It is time.  Please read this parent’s message below about their child, bathrooms, and growing up:

 

When our child was born I saw just a few feet in front of us. All the information was like running down a never ending tunnel. No true direction from doctors just what needed to be done in the moment. I engaged with others but reluctantly as I felt very scared of the things I could not fully understand. After surgery this moment of concern and regret over came me. What just happened to my baby. I did find a way out of the tunnel but not till it was to late. The hardest thing for a person/parent is, to make a choice for any individual that can’t express their own wishes. In hindsight it’s very clear, just don’t. Unless it’s a dyer life threatening situation. Recently our family traveled up North to Pennsylvania for Thanksgiving. We had to pass through North Carolina and of course stop and pee. 3 kids and a dog, means frequency in bathroom stops. I knew that Joey would not have any issues using the women’s bathroom, after all she is an 8 year old and no matter the gender of a child as a mom I would have accompanied my son just the same. But in this moment I realized that she is getting older and in a few years this could matter . As it does for many intersex individuals. So I went back to the place of anger when this monumental human rights violation happened. I then relived the decisions made years earlier. A man made part was installed like a car part. We had no option to delay the infamous M or F on the birth certificate. We had to pick her gender before any human could process what just happened.
I share this as a real moment that not only parents process but Intersex individuals do. There are so many amazing moments in between and life’s goes on but there is always that injustice hanging around. There is always that little reminder that challenges are ahead. I took her picture by the women’s bathroom in N.C as a reminder of how heartbreaking, the reality truly is. This is my reminder to always educate and fight for all rights . To help stop surgery without consent, to open up more dialog for all spectrums of intersex individuals. To just listen to those in need. To be a friend when one is needed. To be a parent and not forget that my child is intersex, and her thoughts always matter.

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Civil Rights, Human Rights, Human Rights Violations, Intersex Awareness, Prejudice

When you do not include the “I” in your human rights efforts, this is why it hurts me and other people born intersex:

LGBT LGBT LGBT

I am not transgender.  I was born intersex.  But since I was raised the wrong gender, and had to reclaim my true gender,

Guess what?  

Almost everything that can happen to a gay person, lesbian, transgender person, or gender nonconforming queer person, has happened to me.    I now know I am not alone.  These things happen to other people born intersex too.  So far, due to being born intersex these Fifteen Human Rights and Civil Rights Violations  have happened to me.  I am forty-eight years old and almost did not make it out alive:At the age of three and four, I went through therapy to be taught I was a girl.   I was assigned female at birth.  I am not female.

  1. Although I am stable now, I have attempted suicide three times and almost four.
  2. One of those attempts happened before the age of eighteen years old; at the tender age of sixteen years old.
  3. Was kept out of locker rooms, and given the “favor” of taking more art or music class in Junior High and High School.   The shame made me silent.
  4. I have almost lost my life due to medical errors made by doctors, three times.
  5. I was sexually assaulted by my doctor by the age of twelve.
  6. I was sexually assaulted by my boyfriend by the age of sixteen too.
  7. I was raped before I even turned twenty, and the judge let him get away after he shared about me.
  8. Doctors coerced me to medically and hormonally conform to a gender I was never born as.  (For some born intersex, this means forced surgery and hormones).  For me, I was not given choices, nor was informed of my choices, until I educated myself about my choices much later in life; after being made horrifically sick and disabled by their medical and psychiatric treatments.
  9. I had problems keeping a job, and getting a job.
  10. I was never allowed to represent my true gender, until recently, at work.  Where I am finally successfully and have a job I love.
  11. I have been fired by doctors, and denied treatment by doctors.  I have even received letters saying I am “patient non-compliant” when I started to embrace my true gender and stop the treatment that made me appear female.  A treatment plan that is currently the only accepted treatment for my form of intersex, and medical condition.
  12. I was rejected by my family, and turned into black sheep, and scape goat most my life.
  13. When I came out my true gender, I was rejected even more by my family.  This rejection and prejudice, not only touches me, but my husband and children; and continues to do so.
  14. I can only find medical help by special “safe” doctors.  Most would refuse to treat me.
  15. I obviously would suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Depression and Anxiety, how could I not?

To compound all this, I have also had over eighteen surgeries, due to complications my body has due to the way I was born, and have also suffered from four miscarriages, and have not being medical respected due to being “medically complicated”.  You can read about me in my autobiography.    Thankfully, I now finally have doctors and therapists,  who are trying to respect me, and help me; but this was not always the case.

So, when human rights effort do not include intersex, it hurts.  It hurts badly. I will not get restitution, and yet society and culture got away with it.

Worse, my own personal list does not even include the surgical violations that have harmed countless other intersex, or even the  countless abortions, when they justify killing us before we are even born.  The United Nations has said that the surgical assignment of gender has to stop.  Yet, only two countries, Malta and Chile have made laws to stop this practice.  This makes this even more horrific.   You can read about them too.

The meme below, went viral, and shares about Transgender Awareness.   As you can see in my list above, all but two have happened to me.  Please note, that before 2014 I appeared “heterosexual” (with my husband of many years),  and I also appeared “cisgender” (when we agree to our birth assignment of gender).  At that time my gender expression was that of a typical and conforming for female.  I would NOT have appeared LGBT back then; although I would have benefited from the support of equality groups including intersex.

It is so important that “sexual characteristics” be included in this speech in making laws to protect us, and the “I” be included.  That it is not just about  protecting sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression.   Now you can see this meme below,   sadly hits the mark for some born intersex too, and yet still does not include all the horrors faced by intersex people:

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If you doubt the above meme, please see: Transgender Awareness Facts

So, if you are including intersex in your HUMAN RIGHTS Efforts, you now can understand why better.  If not, please second think why you are not, and the harm this causes to people like me and our families.  

WE ARE HUMAN Martin Luther King, Jr.

Fix Society with Angel Feather

Stop the Eugenics and Genocide of Intersex

My Related blogs to this topic of Intersex Erasure:

  1. Judi Herring, M.D. and I talking to the City Council, about INTERSEX in Jacksonville, Florida, regarding the LGBT Human Rights Ordinance (HRO)
  2. The difference between transgender and intersex and the harm that wrong language can bring
  3. Am I Transgender? Can an intersex person be transgender?

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