Gender, Human Rights, Intersex Awareness, Self-Determination, Transgender

A Penis and a Vagina does not Create our Gender Identity

I like to teach that gender is our personality and that a penis and a vagina does not create our gender identity. We are not assigned our personality, we just become it. Just like becoming left or right handed, or being able to be ambidextrous and use both hands.  We now trust a child to choose if they are left handed, right handed or ambidextrous when they are very young.

This analogy of handedness can be used when an intersex child is born both and even holds true for any child.  It holds true even if they are born with an endosex (not intersex) body.  All children figure out their gender and they do it relatively young and before they even start grade school.

My Thoughts Regarding Intersex Children:

Here is the United Nations’  intersex FACT SHEET.  I believe that genitals, reproductives systems, hormones, and chromosomes will never create our gender identity.

If we just relax and wait, I promise the baby will let the world know.  All of us who were assigned wrong at birth have all proven that no expert, no chromosomal test, no MRI, CatScan or blood test can determine the gender of any of us 100% of the time.   Yes, sometimes surgeries are medically necessary, but most the time they are only cosmetic and have horrible consequences.  This means a lot of errors have been made and permanently so with non-reversible surgeries.   I know too many un-happy intersex people to prove the experiment of assigning our gender surgically has failed miserably and has to stop.  The obvious solution is to wait and let the baby decide their gender.

My Thoughts Regarding Transgender Children: 

If we gave self-determination of gender to all humans, the diagnosis of gender dysphoria and the label ‘transgender’ would vanish too.   It is our culture that has decided what genitals belong to what gender.  Anything outside of that expectation is now called gender dysphoria.  When I feel it is truly a case of cultural dysphoria around genitals and gender.  However, the label transgender is very important to our culture right now, so we have to take on the discrimination that us transgender people face very seriously.

Yet, in the perfect world, if we gave self-determination to everyone, no one would have to transition or be diagnosed to do so.  Birth Certificates would now only take note that a human was born.  My friend, Mo Cortez, Intersex Advocate from Houston, once shared that maybe our blood type could be put on our birth certificate in place of male or female.  Is our gender marker truly necessary on our birth certificate?  Many feel it is not for many reasons.

One last note: Self-Determination is a human right, and only with consensual adults should genital cosmetic corrective surgeries be performed.  No government should dictate that an adult trans person has to have gender confirmation surgeries to validate their identity.  Surgery should remain a personal choice and not a requirement for a transition from one gender to the other.  Sex reassignment surgeries are also a solution for severe forms of gender dysphoria and should always be available to those who require it.  The World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) states: 

“The medical procedures attendant to sex reassignment are not ‘cosmetic’ or ‘elective’ or for the mere convenience of the patient. These reconstructive procedures are not optional in any meaningful sense, but are understood to be medically necessary for the treatment of the diagnosed condition.”

Back to Intersex Natural Variations: 

Right now intersex variations are diagnosed as medical conditions.  When they are truly just naturally occurring natural bodily variations.  Can you imagine if we gave a diagnosis to male or female?  It is no different.  Intersex is the biological sex of an intersex person.  Just like anyone an intersex baby can grow up to have any gender identity, gender expression or sexual orientation.   Surgeries are not going to keep these things from happening.  Yes, there are going to be gay, lesbian, and transgender appearing intersex kids and people, and the world has to get over itself.

A Gender Self-Determining World: 

If all children were no longer taught that their genitals made them a boy or a girl, and genital integrity was taught early on, wouldn’t this be a better world for intersex, transgender, and non-conforming people?  I believe that ‘no body is shameful’ and that a person can be the personality of any gender:  male, female, both or neither.

I also believe that it is not just intersex kids that need to learn that nobody is shameful.  It is all of us humans, especially transgender children.  Whom I feel are also being coerced to think they need genital surgeries when they grow up.

If everyone was given the self-determination of their gender, we might be very surprised to see a world emerge “gender nonconforming”: 

There are three ways to be a gender non-conformist:

1) Our physical bodies appearing both or neither.  We can be born biologically endosex (not intersex) or intersex.

2) Our Gender identity (our personality as male, female both or neither).

3) Our Gender Expression (how we dress, our hair, or appear to this world).

We can have one, two, or a mixture of these.  As you can see there will be many words and labels that describe all these states of being too.  I hope for a world that can evolve to stop thinking genitals create our gender and we can all just simply be with genital integrity.

Screen Shot 2017-11-14 at 3.45.30 PM

 Fix Society, Please.  

 Helpful Definitions of Human Sexuality

 

Fix Society with Angel Feather
Hope for a Better World.

cropped-cropped-think-outside-the-box.jpg

 feather

~.V.~

Advertisements
Emancipation, Freedom, Human Rights, Intersex Awareness, Self-Determination

Once assigned female: I am very proud to be a little man now!

17834792_10212482379439966_659651104602277445_o
Sharing my thoughts for today, and something that might surprise you!
Lots of guys might have shame being a shorter stature. According to statistics, a man is “short”, if they come in under 5’7″ in the USA. I am 5’5″! I have absolutely no shame or body dysphoria. I know I am fortunate that way!
So many people with non-conforming bodies and atypical genitals are not so fortunate. Be it if we are born intersex with natural bodily variations, or call ourselves transgender, this world can be a cruel cold place for those of us who have bodies that do not conform to “typical”.  This sometimes creates body dysphoria and gender dysphoria.  If you are wondering what intersex is, please go to this link:  United Nations’ Intersex Fact Sheet.
Being raised the wrong gender, as female, all my life, I have had this obsession with shorter men. More than likely because I was taught at three and four that I was not allowed to be a boy.  It would not be until the last two years of my life that I figured out that I had been lied to!
Starting as a young teen, I even memorized the names of famous, short-statured, male actors and rock stars even!  As an unusual teenager posters of some of these shorter men were tacked onto my pink bedroom walls.   Well, obviously you could see why I had this short man obsession!  Now that I appear a little dude, and legally so!   I am absolutely celebrating my life more!
My entire existence has improved!  I have a life now!  I sadly lived the majority of my life with major depression and being tormented by psychiatry and doctors.  My genuine existence had been completely erased.  Half my life is over now, however, I now have HOPE, and can live my genuine and authentic self now!
I hope my story, along with many other stories, is a lesson learned to all the doctors, psychiatrists, and parents out there.  You can read more about me here. 
We do not need to be fixed! Just let us be, please.  Fix Society Please instead!  
 THREE CHEERS to the Self-Determination of our own Gender and Autonomy! 
small_red_heart
Some of my thoughts about the self-determination of gender, that you might be interested in: 
Fix Society I don't have gender dysphoria
English-FreeEqual-Logo-blue-no-slogan2
~.V.~
Cosmetic Genital Surgery, Intersex Awareness, Questions and Answers, Transgender, United Nations

The difference between transgender and intersex and the harm that wrong language can bring

Language is very important, and language can do harm. Here is one example to why:

The biggest priority most intersex activist/advocates/educators have, like me, is decreasing genital mutilation in babies born with intersex traits and decreasing our bodies being aborted when detected before birth.

This means “Born in the wrong body” transgender theories, can do us harm. This is one example of why I educate.

I support the message is: “No body is shameful” and “born perfect”. Instead of saying disorder, condition, syndrome, or birth defect.  The United Nations wants us to say: NATURAL BODILY VARIATIONS. I like to say we are born a “variety of human”. I urge anyone who is wanting to speak up for intersex rights to please read and memorize these two pages given by the UNTIED NATIONS: INTERSEX FACT SHEET

Also, Although some intersex born people may accept the word “hermaphrodite”, that word too, can bring stigma, and shame, due to it being connected to a medical history of misinformed doctors who justified fixing our bodies due to some of us being labeled “pseudo hermaphrodite”. Always ask before using this word in public. It is always safest to say: “Intersex Person”.
The words we use to stop genital mutilation and abortions from happening are a vastly different from how most transgender people are being taught or may feel about themselves and their, bodies and their genitals. Most psychiatrists, councilors, and doctors are teaching “born in the wrong body” theories and that transgender people need to “transition” through hormone manipulations and surgery to correct their “body dysphoria”.  Although some transgender people truly have body dysphoria and benefit from treatment, some do not. The same truth holds true for intersex people. Everyone’s experience is unique to their own and generalizations are never a good idea.

Here lies the problem, the medical and psychiatric communities are teaching these theories even to the parents of intersex babies, and children. Even as adults, who discover later in life that we were born intersex are being taught these theories. The harm is horrendous. The set back in our movement is great.

Here lies the biggest difference between transgender and intersex. It is a mountain of misinformation, we are up against when it comes to saving bodies, and lives, so that we can simply be born with “NATURAL BODILY VARIATIONS” and co-exists our true gender in this world with the genitals and bodies we were born with.

An intersex person can have any gender identity, and according to the social construct of gender, it is not always going to “agree” with our genitals. So this means the self-determination of our gender has to be our choice. This choice needs to be a fully informed choice and should be given to any child born intersex. Here are some examples of the different gender identities an intersex person can have: Gender Identity.

To learn more, here is an excellent link regarding the “Basic Differences between Transgender and Intersex“, shared from Oii Australia.

An added note:   Some, but not all transgender people elect to have Sex Reassignment Surgeries (SRS) or Gender Confirmation Surgeries.  This can involve just doing “top surgery”, which involves masculinizing or feminizing one’s chest; or the more involved “bottom surgeries”, that help the person to align with their genitals to the expectations of the male/female binary.  Also, some intersex people, but not all, can also identify as transgender and intersex both.   It is up to the person how they describe themselves, and not up to others to label them or diagnose them.

Sad to say, these types of surgeries are also performed on infants and children, born intersex, and is often called “corrective surgery”.   As you now understand, self-determination is a human right, to what surgery a person may or may not want.  The United Nations says that cosmetic genital surgeries, and corrective surgeries,  need to stop in non-consensual infants and children.  

Related articles: 

Trans Persons Posing as Intersex (and the damage they do to intersex rights)

My related blogs: 

Common names for INTERSEX:  Intersex is what it is….

Why I feel INTERSEX should be added to the LGBTQ rainbow

Am I Transgender? Can an intersex person be Transgender?

How I was medically, and psychiatrically violated as an intersex person.

Are my Husband and I Gay Men Now? How We Became Sexual Minorities, Our Intersex Love Story.

I was born perfect, and I am lovable. Thank you, United Nations.

Examples of Transphobia, Queerphobia, and Intersexphobia

~.V.~

Cosmetic Genital Surgery, Cultural Dysphoria, Poems, Self-Determination

Poem: I was never in the wrong body. (With 5 Intersex flags from around the world.)

 

13654379_10209860275769013_5961606074455988611_n

I was never in the wrong body

How dare this world try to tell others they are in the wrong body too.

It makes me angry.

It makes me sad.

I almost believed your lies.

For a life time you tried to fix me! 

.

I was born in the right body.

Don’t try to convince me,

all you therapist, doctors and surgeons that make money from this damn lie!

I don’t want your cosmetic genital surgeries! 

.

I was not born in the wrong body!

I caught on to this lie.

It won’t work with me! 

I am too wise.

I call it what it is:

CULTURAL DYSPHORIA

.

Don’t try to convince me I am in the wrong body

and that I am

the one

with 

“gender dysphoria” 

It is not happening! 

.

I am one of the lucky few that know this Earth is NOT flat! 

How dare yo make money chopping on the genitals of  intersex babies,

and those labeled transgender!  

.

Is any BODY that shameful?

No Body is Shameful! 

.

Shame on this world!

.

By Mx. Anunnaki Ray 

July 19th 2015 

Screen Shot 2016-07-18 at 10.08.09 PM

Above I share, four different flags that are known to represent intersex or hermaphrodite in this world.  The first one, is the “Bi-Gender” Flag, and although intersex has to do with biological sex, some have chosen to use this one to declare intersex.  The Second one, is the Australian Oii (Organization International Intersex) flag.  The Third, the Brazilian Intersex Flag.  The Fourth, the Hermaphrodite Flag, created in Germany.  Last, below is one more flag I have seen, which is also for intersex, and flown in Germany.

german-intersex-flag

 Please note, some intersex do not like the label “hermaphrodite”, but some don’t mind it at all.  Also, most intersex do not like to be called a “DSD” or “Disorder of Sexual Development either.  Please always ask before using the term “hermaphrodite”, or  the phrase “DSD”.

The safe thing to say is always: “intersex”.

Here are the two symbols used to represent those born intersex:

Male_and_female_sign.svg

60px-Mercury_symbol.svg

Helpful LGBTQIA+ Definitions and Human Sexuality

All the Gender Symbols

~.V.~

Human Rights Violations, Intersex Awareness

Intersex Bodies are Not an error: My Intersex Story, and the stories of so many others.

cropped-no-body-is-shameful-with-feather.jpg

Blogs I have written about how intersex is not a defect, a syndrome, or about being disordered:

1) My genitals are not “Normal”, but I don’t think normal is normal.

2) It is time to stop the “normalizing” genital surgery on intersex infants!

3) “It’s too small, let’s make them into a girl!” Yup, this atrocity is still happening today!

4) All Intersex Bodies are Beautiful, and I do not need fixed to fit your ‘normal’.

5) Doctors, Please Stop Lying to Our Parents. Intersex people are lovable without being fixed. WE ARE HUMAN

The works of others: 

Educational Intersex Videos, Websites, Blogs, Authors, and Articles.

Screen Shot 2016-04-25 at 6.45.12 AM

To see please go to: The Interface Project: No Body is Shameful

cropped-fix-society-with-angel-feather.jpg

World Wide Advocacy & Support For Intersex and Transgender People

~.V.~

Human Rights Violations, Intersex Awareness, Self-Determination

I will try to fix you

images-1

I have already achieved what most spiritualist want to achieve and that is realizing we are more than just our physical body. I already have lived celibate, impotent, and with a body so “broken” that I would vanish into the spirit realm.  I did this the first forty-six years of my life.

During that time I lived in my mind, through my talents, and in my intellect.

When I dreamed, I dreamed I was male; when I awoke, I appeared female to this world.  I mastered meditation, but some skeptics might have called it dissociation.  I developed narcolepsy even and slept most of the day away. I call what I did survival.   Society had created these constraints the day I was born.

I was to live as a female when I was not female.  

It did not matter the cost.  It was my societal duty to be everything female.

Yet, I was never whole.

Then my physical body started declining and it got so bad I could no longer participate in my family life even.   I faced certain death, for I was on death row and felt terminal.

During that time my spirit fractured from my physical being.

My fight for survival was huge though.  I had nothing to lose now.  “She” was dying and most had abandoned us already due to the chronic illness.  What would it matter if they assumed I was more of a freak?  So I leaped from a plane this time last year. I was going to become my true self.

I am a non-conforming, androgynous guy and this is how it felt, it felt like I was jumping from a plane without a parachute.

If my husband,  my closest friends, councilors, and doctors did not try to save me; I was going to hit the ground.  It was over.

 BUT

They grabbed hold of me.  Most of all, my husband grabbed hold of me.  I am lucky.  Too many are not making it when the error in our gender is made.  For one reason; “they” claim our genitals wrong.

You have to realize that this is the first time in my life that I was ever allowed to be who I was meant to be all along, hormonally and physically appearing male to this world.  This last year, I looked in the mirror, and I saw a man emerge.

I became whole for the first time.

I have so much anger around these circumstances.  I get no restitution.  I was to be raised a girl.  You see, no one broke the law. Thank God, my husband of twenty-seven years did not leave me.  It is rare that a spouse or partner sticks around.

I am lucky I did not take my life.  There are people who care; if you are as hopeless as I use to be please find help.  It is possible.  

Anything is possible

And

ALL BODIES ARE BEAUTIFUL!  No Body Is Shameful!  

I dedicate this blog to Cold Play’s “Fix You”:

~.V.~