Bridge Building, Celebrations, Intersex Awareness, Intersex People, PFLAG, Relationships

PFLAG Rockford Chapter is the 2nd to become INTERSEX Inclusive.

I am excited to announce, and celebrate that  PFLAG Rockford Illinois is the second PFLAG Chapter to responsibly include intersex.   My chapter, PFLAG of Jacksonville is the first.  This happening after they made me their Director of Gender/INTERSEX Education.  It is my goal now to help other PFLAG chapters add the “I” responsibly.

While traveling to the PFLAG’s National conference in Portland, this October 2017, I met Phyllis Gallisath the Founder and President of PFLAG Rockford Chapter.   It was one of those serendipitous moments, where we discovered ourselves sitting on the plane together during my connection in Chicago.  We introduced ourselves and quickly learned that we were both headed to the same conference!  This was the beginning of a new and amazing relationship and some very long educational discussions around intersex.

During that time Phyllis opened her heart and her mind while learning the differences between LGBTQ and the special needs of us intersex people.  While also seeing that a good number of us intersex people and parents of intersex kids, are without inclusive community and supports due also identifying as LGBTQ+.

I gave my presentation at the National Conference, as a workshop, and during it, I talk about adding the “I” responsibility to LGBTQ+.   It is very important to me that the “I” is added with full responsibility and not carelessly.  My job going to PFLAG’s National conference was in honor of all us intersex people and the parents of intersex kids.  I am very excited to be doing this work!   This would not be happening without my friends and supporters from Jacksonville PFLAG Chapter, so a huge thank you to them too!

Thank you, Phylis, for making your PFLAG Chapter the second!

 

 

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Founder & President of Rockford PFLAG Chapter: Phyllis Gallisath with me at the airport traveling to the National PFLAG Conference in Oregon, 2017.

 

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PFLAG Rockford Chapter
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PFLAG Rockford Chapter
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PFLAG Rockford Chapter

You can “like” their facebook page:  PFLAG Rockford Chapter

Here is their website: PFLAG Rockford Chapter


Book Mx. Anunnaki Ray To Come Speak 


My related Blogs Regarding Intersex Inclusion: 

Intersex Inclusive PFLAG Chapters

Why I feel INTERSEX should be added to the LGBTQ rainbow

Making History! PFLAG of Jacksonville, Florida, includes INTERSEX.

Adding the “I” responsibly to LGBT

If you would like to add the “I” with responsibility, I would love to show you how, and look forward to hearing from you too:

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Bridge Building, Celebrations, Freedom, Intersex People, Short Messages, Transgender

Veterans Day: No one gets left behind or forgotten.

Transgender:Intersex Veterans Day 2017 JPEG

We care! 

Transgender/Intersex Civil Rights Community

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Bridge Building, Human Rights, Intersex Awareness, Intersex People, Relationships

Why I feel INTERSEX should be added to the LGBTQ rainbow

I feel it is now time to create more allies, create more supportive organizations, and give a way for organizations that want to become intersex inclusive direction on how they can help us end these atrocities that intersex people face.  These human rights violations are in regards to aborting healthy intersex fetuses, and ending non-consenting cosmetic corrective surgeries that are not medically necessary that are being done to intersex infants and children.  Surgeries that often fail miserably, create genitals with poor sexual sensitivity.  Surgeries that often assign us the wrong gender, are not reversible, take away our fertility, and sadly lead to repeat surgeries.  All of this leading to psychological and physical trauma throughout our lives.

Many organizations such as PFLAG are now showing they are welcoming to intersex, and many PFLAG chapters are wanting to become more inclusive to intersex.  However, adding the “I” needs to be done with great care and I personally can be contacted to make sure that this is done responsibly.

Here is my e-mail: anunnakiray@outlook.com and a page dedicated just to PFLAG chapters who are ready to become intersex inclusive: Intersex Inclusive PFLAG Chapters.

Below I will talk about the reason to add the “I” to the acronyms LGBTQ+.  Below I show why I am for this inclusion of intersex:

Reasons to add the “I”:

  1. Hida Viloria, the Executive Director of Oii-USA and Intersex Campaign for Equality shares how intersex people often identify, and how some of us will appear simply either male or female or queer:   How Intersex People Identify.  Co-authored with Dana Zzyyn.
  2. Statistics show that over 50% of us intersex people identify with a sexual orientation that appears gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, pansexual, asexual and more.  Statistics from: Demographics from Oii-Australia
  3. Statistics also show that an intersex person can have any gender identity.   Some intersex people are cis-gender (agree with birth assignment) and conform to either male or female.  Some of us are simply queer, intergender, non-binary or gender nonconforming.  There are also few of us who identify as transgender and intersex both. Statistics from: Demographics from Oii-Australia
  4. Cary Costello Ph.D. talks about how some of us who are intersex sometimes appear as transgender or identify and call ourselves transgender:   Cis Gender, Trans Gender, and Intersex  Cary also shares how homophobia is often behind genetic experts suggesting to terminate and abort healthy intersex fetuses:  On Eugenic Abortion of the Intersex.  An LGBTQ organization is going to have the sensitivity to deal with transphobia and homophobia.
  5. When a person, like myself, realizes that they are intersex instead of a disorder and that their biological sex is intersex, finding a safe space among other sexual minorities is important.  I know it was for my family, especially if we may also appear LGBTQ+.
  6. For me being a part of the LGBTQ+ groups showed me it was ok to be a sexual minority.  It allowed me to feel ok with my appearing gay and transgender.  Thus helping my self-determination and not having shame.  I feel it could give this gift to other intersex people who may also naturally appear LGBTQ+
  7. If an organization takes the time to educate themselves about intersex, it could create more safe spaces for us LGBTQ+ intersex people.  Especially those of us who also identify as transgender, non-binary, nonconforming, or queer.   I see how this happened when the “T” was added to LGB.  Although some trans appear heterosexual, some also now appear lesbian, gay or queer, just like some of us intersex people and this inclusion was very helpful to the transgender community.

Reasons to not add the “I”:

  1. The fear of intersex being mixed up as a gender identity or a sexual orientation problem.
  2. Some intersex people consider themselves a disorder of sex development still, and are happy with their intersex diagnosis and don’t feel their diagnosis has anything to do with being  LGBTQ+ or being a sexual minority.
  3. The way I see it, it could simply be a case of  Homophobia, Transphobia, Queerphobia, Intersex phobia that keeps people from wanting to add the “I”.
  4. Some intersex people are cis-gender (agree with their birth assignment) and also appear heterosexual.  They don’t have any reason to need to be affiliated with LGBTQ+, pride parades or any of it.

My solution to those who don’t want the “I” added:

To alleviate confusion, it is important to educate that intersex is about biological sex and biology, and that the biggest problems we face are the forced assignment of gender, surgically, or hormonally.  Intersex advocates, activists, and educators are trying to end our being aborted when detected in-utero and the non-consenting surgeries on infants and children.   When adding the “I” to your organization it is my hope that you will also make it a part of your effort to make this a safer world for those of us born intersex.  Last, it should be always educated that some intersex people do not appear LGBTQ+, nor need to.

Further, for those intersex people who do not even feel they are intersex, that is their right to not declare it and to embrace their diagnosis or conditions as not intersex.  However, just because they don’t feel they have a variation of intersex, nor want LGBTQI+ support, doesn’t mean that over half of the intersex community won’t benefit from it.  Which again, is a person’s right to self-determination and should always be respected.

With all this said: 

I personally feel that it is time to include the “I”, but only if it is done with great responsibility and education about ending non-consensual genital corrective surgeries on intersex infants and children.  While also guiding people to the correct organizations to support genital integrity.  Here is a list that is always necessary to make sure intersex people get the right supports and are not mixed up with transgender:

Important Organizations to Include on your website if you add Intersex to LGBTQ+:

Below are links that will ensure that parents in the USA, Australia, and other countries, are guided to informed and safe people that will reinforce the self-determination of gender,  and that “No Body is Shameful”, and can support  genital integrity:

Two PDF files you can print and distribute:

1) United Nations INTERSEX Factsheet from United Nations

2) Brief Guidelines for Intersex Allies

Links you should add to your organization’s website: 

1) Intersex Campaign for Equality  AKA Organization Intersex International, USA: Oii-USA.org  

2) Organization Intersex International: Oii-Australia

3) Organization Intersex International Network (World Wide list)

4) Intersex Support for Parents (Closed FB Group)

5) Houston Intersex Society

6) InterACT Advocates for Intersex Youth: interactadvocates.org

7) StopIGM.org (Ending intersex genital mutilation) 

8) Mx. Anunnaki Ray Gender/INTERSEX Activist, Educator, Writer and Speaker



References:  Important articles and data that shows me it is time to include intersex to LGBTQ:  

  1. The Forgotten Vowel: How Intersex Liberation Benefits the Entire LGBTQIA Community By Hida Viloria
  2. How Intersex People Identify By Hida Viloria and Dana Zzyym
  3. Cis Gender, Transgender, and Intersex By Cary Costello Ph.D.
  4. On Eugenic Abortion of the Intersex By Cary G. Costello Ph.D.
  5. THEIR TIME After generations in the shadows, the intersex rights movement has a message for the world: We aren’t disordered and we aren’t ashamed
  6. Demographics of intersex people in Australia borrowed from Oii-Australia:

Quote:  An independent 2015 survey of 272 people born with atypical sex characteristics has provided us with good statistical information for the first time. The survey was led by Dr. Tiffany Jones of the University of New England, and it was published in February 2016. It shows very diverse understandings of intersex bodies, sexes, and genders.

Graphics below borrowed from Demographics from Oii-Australia:

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Assuming that human sexual behavior is similar to Australia globally, as you can now see, the evidence from Oii-Australia shows the need.  Thus helping all infants and children be taught that they are ok being born into the bodies they are born into, regardless of how their sexual orientation, gender identity, or actual biological sex is recognized by this world when they become adults.  Adults who may or may not even need marriage equality, if we grow up to appear gay or lesbian.  Here is a personal blog that shares about how my family needs intersex inclusion: Are my Husband and I Gay Men Now? How We Became Sexual Minorities, Our Intersex Love Story.

Regardless of how us intersex people appear to this world when we grow up, the self-determination of gender and our genital integrity is our human right.

Here are Helpful LGBTQIA+ Definitions that help to explain Human Sexuality. 

If you would like guidance on adding the “I” responsibly to your organizations’ acronyms please contact me: 

 

 

 


Important blogs I have written that support adding the “I” to LGBTQ+: 

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Hate Crimes, Human Rights, Human Rights Violations, Intersex Activist, Intersex Awareness, Intersex Erasure, Intersex People, Intersex Traits, Prejudice, Uncategorized

If this is not eugenics and genocide what is it?

Stop the Eugenics and Genocide of Intersex

Here is something that should not go unspoken anymore: 

The plan for the extinction of us intersex people: If they can’t abort us when detected in-utero, when we are born they will make us infertile. If we are a risk of appearing homosexual to this world, they will cut off our parts, and create parts. Worse, these atrocities and human rights violations are all socially justified. If we appear non-conforming gender, they will make sure we are unemployable, be rejected by homeless shelters, and we will starve. There are far more things that make it impossible to survive, but this short list sums it up nicely. If this is not eugenics and genocide, what is it?

Articles that you may want to read regarding this: 
Selective Intersex Abortions: XXY 74%, Indeterminate Sex 47%, Hypospadias 2%
Why I’m Disturbed by Screening for Intersex Traits in Utero
Here is the United Nations’ Intersex Fact Sheet

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Related Poems I wrote: 
Poem: STOP the Unthinkable!
Poem: I am a Boxphobe!
My related blogs: 
My thoughts about the Third Gender Box and Gender X
Five ways I show that the Male/Female Binary is a Myth, and a Social Construct. Nature has always Created Sexual Variety and Diversity.

 

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Intersex People, Poems, Prejudice, Questions and Answers, Transgender

Poem: Over 50% would have died.

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Over 50% would have died.

I just survived what most would not have.

No I do not like this world.

It is a cruel and cold place for intersex people and transgender people.

Most would not have switched their gender to save their lives.

I can’t respect that.

I just survived what most wouldn’t have.

I sit here envying that death would have been easier for you.

I sit here wondering why I chose to survive this hell.

Most would not have switched their gender.

I can’t respect that.

I just survived what most wouldn’t have.

I sit here wondering if death would have been easier.

I sit here wondering why this Earth is so fucked up!

Why is it that over 50% would chose death, over saving their life like I did?

I am supposed to learn this and just sit here and do nothing.

I can’t respect that.

No, I will not sit here and do nothing!

Why is that?

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By Mx. Anunnaki Ray

April 5th, 2017

Why I wrote this poem:

This poem was written in response to finding out that over 50% of my friends and family would have died, like I would have if I had done nothing.  Yes, over 50% would have died, over saving themselves, like I did.  They would have refused to change their gender and how they appear to this world.  Please note that Sex and Gender are not the same thing.  When I refer to gender I refer to how we identify as male, female, both or neither.  When I refer to gender I am also talking about how this world perceives by our gender expression (how we dress or appear as to other).

To me gender is like our personality.  Sex has to do with genitals, reproductive systems, hormones and chromosomes.  Some people are born dyadic (typical bodies), and some people are born intersex.  Both dyadic and intersex people can have any gender.  I believe that the two do not, and will never be the same definition.  I believe that the self-determination of gender is a human right.

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Cosmetic Genital Surgery, Cultural Dysphoria, Human Rights, Human Rights Violations, Intersex Awareness, Intersex People, Poems, Self-Determination

Poem: Stop Cutting us With Steel

Stop Cutting us With Steel

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We are not a myth,

We are real.

We are hermaphrodites.

To be cut by blade, and by steel.

To be erased, by this cruel world.

That is threatened by our existence.

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We are not myth,

We are real.

We are hermaphrodites.

That word

HERMAPHRODITE

you even destroyed that too!

Making it a dirty word, a dirty name!

Making an excuse to erase us.

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Telling us we could not be a boy.

Telling us we could not be a girl.

Telling us we could not be both!

To cut it off, to cut it out, to make us infertile, and unable to orgasm.

To lock us up in psychiatric hospitals for being gay or lesbian.

To be surgically erased, or even aborted.

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We are not myth,

We are real.

Stop cutting us with steel.

Is Self-Determination too much to ask for?
Let us walk this Earth again.

Stop stealing from us what is ours.

We are Born Perfect! 

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Mx. Anunnaki Ray

March, 21, 2017

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Hate Crimes, Human Rights, Intersex Awareness, Intersex People, Prejudice, Short Messages, Transgender, United Nations

Dear Ally, It is your responsibility to keep us safe, and here is how.

Gender Etiquette 101 Misgendering

This meme was not created so much for me, since I am OUT publicly. I created it mostly for those who deserve to live stealth lives and not be outed. They did not ask for it like i did, and to be “OUT” is not always safe.
Now that I am a public figure, and like many intersex or transgender activist, or advocates, I have shared with the world in order to change this world! I have shared things about myself that most could never imagine sharing about themselves.
Please, if you know me, it is your responsibility to make sure I remain safe. Since my story is out there, don’t gossip about me! Instead, Educate, educate, educate! It is only by changing culture that we make this world safe for all the babies born intersex or transgender.   I strongly suggest you use resources from  United Nations’ Free & Equal Campaign  to accurately advocate for your LGBTQIA+ friends.  The United Nations’ offers many sheets you can print and hand out.

Last, and most important, there are countless others, who are not “OUT”,  and should not have their lives destroyed by rumors, gossip, or people sharing about who they are without their permission.   They are not activist, or advocates, and they deserve their privacy and safety.  So if you are privileged to know an intersex or transgender person, please protect their right to dignity, privacy and safety.   One simple rule of thumb: Always ask the person before sharing.
Here is the intersex  and LGBT Fact sheets created by the United Nations.  These two sheets are an excellent resource to print and share around.  Here they are below in the links provided.

  1. Here is the United Nations Intersex Fact Sheet 
  2. Here is the United Nations LGBT Fact Sheet 

Here are my other Gender Etiquette 101 memes:  Anunnaki’s Gender Etiquette 101

THANK YOU, for helping us to make this a safer world, and to educate and change culture!

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