For fun, I compare myself to a seahorse dad. For it is the seahorse dads who give birth. I am an intersex person, who identifies with being male or of the non-binary gender. Not all intersex people are like me. This is simply my story. You see, my body naturally creates its own testosterone at a much higher level than a typical cisgender female. Hormonally and physically I have intersex traits, it would be decided I should be raised female. But I was not of the female gender.
I was taught, when very little, that all females want to grow up, get married and have babies. I felt it my duty, my obligations. To be honest, I wanted that too. However, I NEVER felt like a mother or a wife. We now know that transgender men can have babies. There have been many now, becoming pregnant and having successful births. Also, please read about this amazing intersex man, who successfully had a baby girl, and talks about intersex fertility. His name is Cary Gabriel Costello, Ph.D., and you can read about their story here: Intersex Fertility: Intersex Roadshow Blog . Cary calls him self a “gestational father”. I like that!
Being perceived as female, and as a mother, was terrible for me. Typical woman always caught on that I was different. It could have been because my pheromones were not that of a typical female, I do not know for sure. I was an outcast, appearing as female, most my life. Now that I honor my true gender hormonally, I now can simply be me. Our three children call me “Vader” now. Which is German for Father, and I love it. For mother’s day, we now celebrate “SEA HORSE DAY”.
If I could do it over again, and it had been my choice, I would have been a pregnant man.
(I am only about six months into reclaiming my true gender in this picture: Taken Late Spring of 2015 )
We suffered so much pregnancy loss. This song lifted my spirit, when we battled to have a pregnancy go to term. Elton John gave me hope, during a very grim time of my life.
I dedicate this blog post to: Elton John – Blessed
For fun, here is a link to watch a Male Seahorse giving birth at The Deep Hull.
These two little seahorses were a gift from a dear friend!