Gender, Human Rights, Intersex Awareness, Self-Determination, Transgender

A Penis and a Vagina does not Create our Gender Identity

I like to teach that gender is our personality and that a penis and a vagina does not create our gender identity. We are not assigned our personality, we just become it. Just like becoming left or right handed, or being able to be ambidextrous and use both hands.  We now trust a child to choose if they are left handed, right handed or ambidextrous when they are very young.

This analogy of handedness can be used when an intersex child is born both and even holds true for any child.  It holds true even if they are born with an endosex (not intersex) body.  All children figure out their gender and they do it relatively young and before they even start grade school.

My Thoughts Regarding Intersex Children:

Here is the United Nations’  intersex FACT SHEET.  I believe that genitals, reproductives systems, hormones, and chromosomes will never create our gender identity.

If we just relax and wait, I promise the baby will let the world know.  All of us who were assigned wrong at birth have all proven that no expert, no chromosomal test, no MRI, CatScan or blood test can determine the gender of any of us 100% of the time.   Yes, sometimes surgeries are medically necessary, but most the time they are only cosmetic and have horrible consequences.  This means a lot of errors have been made and permanently so with non-reversible surgeries.   I know too many un-happy intersex people to prove the experiment of assigning our gender surgically has failed miserably and has to stop.  The obvious solution is to wait and let the baby decide their gender.

My Thoughts Regarding Transgender Children: 

If we gave self-determination of gender to all humans, the diagnosis of gender dysphoria and the label ‘transgender’ would vanish too.   It is our culture that has decided what genitals belong to what gender.  Anything outside of that expectation is now called gender dysphoria.  When I feel it is truly a case of cultural dysphoria around genitals and gender.  However, the label transgender is very important to our culture right now, so we have to take on the discrimination that us transgender people face very seriously.

Yet, in the perfect world, if we gave self-determination to everyone, no one would have to transition or be diagnosed to do so.  Birth Certificates would now only take note that a human was born.  My friend, Mo Cortez, Intersex Advocate from Houston, once shared that maybe our blood type could be put on our birth certificate in place of male or female.  Is our gender marker truly necessary on our birth certificate?  Many feel it is not for many reasons.

One last note: Self-Determination is a human right, and only with consensual adults should genital cosmetic corrective surgeries be performed.  No government should dictate that an adult trans person has to have gender confirmation surgeries to validate their identity.  Surgery should remain a personal choice and not a requirement for a transition from one gender to the other.  Sex reassignment surgeries are also a solution for severe forms of gender dysphoria and should always be available to those who require it.  The World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) states: 

“The medical procedures attendant to sex reassignment are not ‘cosmetic’ or ‘elective’ or for the mere convenience of the patient. These reconstructive procedures are not optional in any meaningful sense, but are understood to be medically necessary for the treatment of the diagnosed condition.”

Back to Intersex Natural Variations: 

Right now intersex variations are diagnosed as medical conditions.  When they are truly just naturally occurring natural bodily variations.  Can you imagine if we gave a diagnosis to male or female?  It is no different.  Intersex is the biological sex of an intersex person.  Just like anyone an intersex baby can grow up to have any gender identity, gender expression or sexual orientation.   Surgeries are not going to keep these things from happening.  Yes, there are going to be gay, lesbian, and transgender appearing intersex kids and people, and the world has to get over itself.

A Gender Self-Determining World: 

If all children were no longer taught that their genitals made them a boy or a girl, and genital integrity was taught early on, wouldn’t this be a better world for intersex, transgender, and non-conforming people?  I believe that ‘no body is shameful’ and that a person can be the personality of any gender:  male, female, both or neither.

I also believe that it is not just intersex kids that need to learn that nobody is shameful.  It is all of us humans, especially transgender children.  Whom I feel are also being coerced to think they need genital surgeries when they grow up.

If everyone was given the self-determination of their gender, we might be very surprised to see a world emerge “gender nonconforming”: 

There are three ways to be a gender non-conformist:

1) Our physical bodies appearing both or neither.  We can be born biologically endosex (not intersex) or intersex.

2) Our Gender identity (our personality as male, female both or neither).

3) Our Gender Expression (how we dress, our hair, or appear to this world).

We can have one, two, or a mixture of these.  As you can see there will be many words and labels that describe all these states of being too.  I hope for a world that can evolve to stop thinking genitals create our gender and we can all just simply be with genital integrity.

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 Fix Society, Please.  

 Helpful Definitions of Human Sexuality

 

Fix Society with Angel Feather
Hope for a Better World.

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Anunnaki Ray's Photographic Stories, Celebrations, Emancipation, Human Rights, Intersex Awareness, Self-Determination

Intersex Day of Remembrance and Solidarity 2017

Intersex Day of Remembrance, also known as Intersex Solidarity Day, is an international awareness day that aims to draw attention to the issues faced by members of the intersex community. It is observed on November 8, marking the birth anniversary of Herculine Barbin.  Herculine was a hermaphrodite who wrote a memoir about their life and the tragedies they faced in the nineteenth century.

Today I will celebrate then and now, with an intersex child named Joey, who is getting the right to self-determine her own gender.  I too have emancipated my true gender and my right to self-determination.  The biggest problem we intersex people face is the forced assignment of gender as children, in the form of non-consensual genital surgeries, hormones, and psychiatric treatments.  Together we have to work to stop these atrocities.  To learn more about those of us born intersex, here is the United Nations Intersex Fact Sheet.

May we never forget that we walked among you then, and now.  The Self-Determination of our own Gender is our Human Right.

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Herculine Barbin: Being the Recently Discovered Memoirs of a Nineteenth-century French Hermaphrodite

By Herculine Barbin, Richard McDougall (Translator), Michel Foucault(introduction):
“With an eye for the sensual bloom of young schoolgirls & the torrid style of the romantic novels of her day, Herculine Barbin tells the story of her life as a hermaphrodite. Herculine was designated female at birth. A pious girl in a Catholic orphanage, a bewildered adolescent enchanted by the ripening bodies of classmates, a passionate lover of a schoolmistress, she’s suddenly reclassified as male. Alone & desolate, he commits suicide, aged 30, in a miserable Paris attic. Here’s a lost voice of the sexual past in an erotic diary. Provocative, articulate, eerily prescient as she imagines her corpse under the probing instruments of scientists, Herculine brings a disturbing perspective to our notions of sexuality. Foucault, who discovered these memoirs in the archives of the French Department of Public Hygiene, presents them with the graphic medical descriptions of Herculine’s body before & after death. In a striking contrast, a painfully confused young person & the doctors who examine her try to sort out the nature of masculine & feminine at the dawn of the age of modern sexuality.”
“Herculine Barbin can be savored like a libertine novel. The ingenousness of Herculine, the passionate yet equivocal tenderness which thrusts her into the arms, even into the beds, of her companions, gives these pages a charm strangely erotic…Michel Foucault has a genius for bringing to light texts & reviving destinies outside the ordinary.”–Le Monde, 7/1978

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The Intersex Flag 

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Pirate Antonio Phoenix was born INTERSEX!

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HAPPY Intersex Awareness Day 2017! Joey meets Pirate Antonio Phoenix AND Joey’s Gift: Self-Determination

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Photography From Seth Langner at Karmathartic

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Bridge Building, Civil Rights, Cosmetic Genital Surgery, Human Rights, Human Rights Violations, Intersex Awareness, Prejudice, Self-Determination, Transgender, United Nations

Every Human Deserves Self-Determination

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It is impossible for me to please everyone in the intersex and transgender community.  MLK Jr was NOT liked by all in his community. He moved forward anyway.  I do the best I can to respect everyone.

I always say:  when you have met ONE intersex person you have met ONE intersex person.   Some of us are cis-gender (agree with our birth assignment) and heterosexual, and not needing nor wanting the support of the LGBTQ+ Rainbow.  Yet, some of us appear LGBTQ+ and want those added supports.  It is a balancing act as an educator of Gender/Intersex topics, and as an activist to try to please everyone.  I have the best intentions always and am always open to suggestions.  You can write me in the contact form below.

I  do what I am doing mostly to save children from nonconsenting cosmetic genital surgeries and to teach the world to give ALL children the self-determination of gender.

I am not doing this for financial gain obviously. I am doing this to save children. I am not doing this for fame, to be a rock star or to be the most popular. I am doing this for children. I have made it very clear to the world that it is our self-determination that is a human right.

I have never excluded a soul, not even those who are NOT intersex. I say: Gender/intersex for a reason.  Gender Identity/Biology.   Both different but work together.  This means I include transgender in my human rights quest. 

All humans, regardless of their biological sex being endosex or intersex, have the right to self-determine their own gender identity, gender expression, and sexual orientation; and it should have NOTHING to do with their genitals, reproductive system, chromosomes, and hormones unless THEY want it to be about that.

No human being should be aborted, physically mutilated, psychiatrically violated, or coerced into having surgery due to laws, social stressors to conform, or being a psychosocial emergency. Those who conform should NOT be the only people who get privilege in society while casting out those who do not conform violently.

For those adults who do elect to have genital reassignment surgery, it is also our human right to alter our bodily appearance.  However, these surgeries should never be done on non-consenting intersex children or due to the coercion of government laws claiming we have no choice but to do so to change our gender identity.

Last,  I feel it is our human right to be who we are naturally, as intersex or transgender people,  and to not have to abide to social rules at the cost of losing our fertility, orgasm and genital integrity.  Unless of course, that is our choice to do so as a consenting adult.

I do not care how one labels themselves, or how one is diagnosed. Human Rights are Human Rights violations and this world has to stop hurting people.

 

Imagine What Seven Billion

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Anunnaki Ray's Photographic Stories, Celebrations, Intersex Awareness, Self-Determination

Joey’s Gift: Self-Determination

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Joey is an amazing spirit, child, and has pure innocence.   At nine years old she is very clear about her gender identity and embraces their feminine side, and yet still has a great passion for sports and aspirations to become a football player!   May this world awaken gently to allow such amazing children to grow, bloom and become.   It is her hope that she changes the rules of the NFL and that they will soon allow capable women!   Look out world!  Joey is coming!

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Here is a message from Tiescha, Joey’s mother:

To watch a child grow into themselves is an remarkable journey to experience. Joey is an XY Intersex girl that embraces her feminine side along with naturally erasing the line in the sand of gender conformity.

She has a beautiful dream in life of seeing women join the NFL.  From an early age she found a lovely balance of enjoying fashion, dolls, baking, loving anything Hot Pink and playing football.  Any given day she walks in the house covered in dirt head to toe after hours of running slant routs, showers and puts on her Monster High PJ’s, plays with her doll house and works on her new fashion designs of Hot Pink dress with frills and sequins.  

I believe one day our Joey will help others make the dream of women in football real.  Her self-determination will take her there, not her chromosomes, or lack of testosterone production, her dream will get her there.  She believes in possibilities and we believe in her. She hopes to show other kids they can be who they are and it’s okay to be Intersex.  According to Joey it’s, okay to love football and play with Dolls, Pick flowers, and enjoy fishing, get a pedicure and play with bugs.

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Here is a Facebook support for parents of intersex kids: Intersex Support for Parents  

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Here is a message from Joey’s mother, Tiescha, explaining why they allowed Joey to share her aspirations with the world:

“In the past few years, Joey started to ask questions about herself that were somewhat complicated to answer as a parent. We evolved with her and started using resources online to articulate what we could not find words for. She rapidly became more self-aware and in the past year found peace with who she is. Her questions did not stop, she began to conduct her own searches online and wanted to meet other Intersex children. This lead to her wanting to help others in learning (In her words) “It’s okay to be Intersex.” As a baby Joey was subjected to surgery, she never had a say and her voice was stolen. We vowed to never allow this to happen again. She is now using her voice and has our unconditional support, love, and guidance.”

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A picture of Joey as a baby. 

An Anonymous Message From a Parent of an intersex child: What happens with the bathrooms when she grows up?

An Anonymous letter from a parent; to National Geographic.

This message brought to you for INTERSEX Awareness Day 2017, with much gratitude to our h Seth Langner of Karmathartic

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Celebrations, Intersex Awareness, Self-Determination

HAPPY Intersex Awareness Day 2017! Joey meets Pirate Antonio Phoenix

 

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Every Intersex Awareness Day is a very special day for me.  However, this year is far more special.  This year I would like to introduce a very brave little intersex girl named Joey.  To our amazement there we were in the same city!   Tiescha Thomasson is the amazing mother, my personal friend, and who is also the founder of the Facebook Group  Intersex Support for Parents.  I am the moderator and administrator to this group, where we gather with many important people in the intersex community to give support and guidance to the parents of intersex children.

You see, Tiesha’s daughter was born intersex.  With the blessing of her parents, she comes out to the world to show all her pride this year with me as my pirate persona Pirate Antonio Phoenix!   So now the world knows that Anunnaki merges forever with Antonio and for the intersex children I walk forth as both!   

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Let me also share a message from Joey’s mother, Tiescha,  about how as parents they came to terms with agreeing to their daughter coming out to the world today.   Here is Tiesha’s message of giving Joey, her daughter, her blessing to come out to the world: 

In the past few years Joey started to ask questions about herself that were somewhat complicated to answer as a parent.

We evolved with her and started using resources online to articulate what we could not find words for.

She rapidly became more self-aware and in the past year found peace with who she is. Her questions did not stop, she began to conduct her own searches online and wanted to meet other Intersex children.

This lead to her wanting to help others in learning (In her words) “It’s okay to be Intersex.” As a baby Joey was subjected to surgery, she never had a say and her voice was stolen. We vowed to never allow this to happen again. She is now using her voice and has our unconditional support, love and guidance.

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All pirates share their booty!

Here is a special coin I give to Joey!  Joey’s parents are giving their daughter the right to self-determination: Joey’s Gift: Self-Determination.  I am deeply honored to be a part this family’s life journey.

 

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Joey, I promise to be there for your entire life journey.  To me, you are like a God Child, and I promise that am forever here to protect you.   This coin is a token to that promise.   You have now found yourself in my heart forever.

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Note:  An intersex child named Nathaniel was the first to meet Pirate Antonio Phoenix, but he remains anonymous.  If you have an intersex or transgender child who would like to meet Pirate Antonio Phoenix you can e-mail me and we can visit Old St. Augustine, Florida together: anunnakiray@outlook.com 

This message brought to you for INTERSEX Awareness Day 2017, with much gratitude to our photographer Seth Langner of Karmathartic

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Joey as a pirate for Halloween 2017 

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Cultural Dysphoria, Poems, Prejudice, Relationships, Self-Determination

Poem: Somebody else was in control

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They told me I had to be a girl.

Can you imagine being told you are a girl?

Somebody else was in control. 

At three years old, they told me my body could never pass as a boy.

Can you imagine being told your body is wrong at three?

Somebody else was in control.

So, as a teen, they locked me up for months at a time.

Stuffed poison into my body, to numb the pain.

I became a walking zombie.

Diagnosing me the sick one.

The wrong one.

The broken one.

 

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Somebody stepped inside my soul.

Little by little they robbed and stole.

Somebody else was in control.

So, a girl emerged to please you.    

 

A lifetime wasted

I saved myself and emerged my birth right.

And now we have no family.

Because they think I am the wrong one.

You liars, you convinced this world! 

I have a will for survival.

So you can hurt me, and hurt me some more

I can live with denial

But you’re not my troubles anymore.

By Anunnaki Ray

July 18th, 2017

 

Dedicated to U2 – The Troubles

(This link will take you to Youtube).

 

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Civil Rights, Gender Nonconforming, Intersex Awareness, Questions and Answers, Relationships, Self-Determination

Why when I go to the Emergency Room I mark Both the male and female box.

 

It is important to understand that for me, being born in the middle as intersex, I need to be medically and socially recognized, as both male and female, to get the proper care I might be needing if I show up at the hospital emergency room, or have to be hospitalized.

First of all, my body is not that of a typical dyadic female or dyadic male.  It is typical for a person born with natural intersex variations.  That is because my biological sex is intersex.  I have not been operated on, and my reproductive system, and genitals have not been altered.  So, my doctors need to know that when examining me, or if I am having problems with my reproductive system, they are going to see things that are not typical.  For example, my ovaries do not appear typical at all when viewed by ultrasound or CAT scan and my skeleton/pelvis is not that of a dyadic women.  I have strange looking ovaries, but am not in pain unless I was ovulating and that was acceptable to me since I wanted to keep my fertility.  Many experts have seen ovaries and immediately suggest that I must be in pain all the time and need immediately surgery, now that I appear a man.  I also have other atypical things going on within my reproductive system, that have never became a medical emergency.  I refuse to have surgery if I am not in pain.  If my ovaries are ok, they will remain in my body to continue to release the natural hormones they were created to do the job for.  I do not have body dysphoria, and want my genitals and reproductive system to be left alone.

Second, my gender, and how I feel my personality to be, is very non-conforming.   Socially I need to be respected as being intersex too.  I may appear either a female or a male in my mannerisms, and my appearance.  My body is very androgynous and it can sometimes confuses people.   I am often mixed up as being transgender even.   Since I am a 46 XX intersex person, that appears a man to this world now, they need to know that too, and that I want to hear male pronouns, or neutral pronouns.  That just because my chromosomes say I am a “girl”, doesn’t mean I am a girl. I am an androgynous, inter-gender, non-conforming male, and have genitals that are not typical to either a typical male or a female.

Third, I legally changed my gender marker to male on my driver’s license, but purposely kept my legal name my birth name, Antoinette.   My birth certificate remains the same as when I was born too.  So, when they see me, they see a female legal name, and a male gender marker.  This immediately honors who I truly am, and they are then I ask them to use my nickname, to address me, since I obviously do not relate to being an “Antoinette” anymore.  Those nicknames being “Ant”, or “Nnaki”.  I also prefer that they use Mx., instead of Mr. or Mrs.  I have never had problems with them honoring this.

Last, I will not be changing my birth certificate to male.  I want to wait until I get the right to change it to intersex.   Right now I do not have that legal ability to do that easily.  I am waiting for this country to catch up so it will not be such a battle. I greatly appreciate those intersex activist that are making this a possible reality in the future for all of us!

Related Blogs:

The two of us, born intersex and named ‘Antoinette’ at our birth.

Seven Names for the SAME thing: Penis, Phallus, Clitoris, Phalloclitoris, Micropenis, Microphalus, and Clitoromegaly.

Mx. Anunnaki Ray and They, Them, Their.

Why did I name myself Anunnaki Ray?

The male/female binary is a Myth!

Here is the United Nations’ Intersex Fact Sheet

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