Intersex Awareness, Intersex Phobia, Prejudice, Relationships, Short Messages

PTSD and being an Intersex Survivor during the Holidays

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I have a few friends, like myself, who have horrible PTSD, and who were violated in various ways and also assigned the wrong gender. The cost: their genitals, fertility, not knowing what they would have naturally looked like, losing friends, losing family, losing their jobs; every aspect of their lives touched and sometimes destroyed by ignorance or outright bigotry.

We are the victims and survivors of attempted genocide and eugenics. Of course, we are broken and learning desperately to create a life for ourselves out of the pieces.

The Holidays are very hard for some of us. We do visit a dark place at times. We need your patience, your love, your empathy. Walk with us during the storms, do not try to fix us.  Love us gently, listen with care, and be there for us.

There is no magic wand, no drug, no prescription, no amount of alcohol, no doctor, no perfect therapy that can fix this form of grief around being violated.

For me, learning to ride the storms is the only method that has worked. Knowing that these storms will end and to remember to dance in the rain, and hold on like hell during the tsunamis!  I do not want to die, but wanting to end this pain is very real at times.  I know of many intersex survivors who get this.   Many of us don’t even feel like we are from this world, we feel like alien outcasts or alien visitors.

With all this said, most important I have learned to allow people to love me and go out of my way to love others who fight this same battle.  This world has to stop hurting people like us and celebrate our births again.

Loving you, if you get this. Stay strong

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Human Rights Violations, Poems, Prejudice, Relationships

Poem: I am a cliff climber

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No words need to be said.

Yes, it is utterly and horrifically overwhelming at times

I rarely get a break

And once again

Over and over again

Shoved off the cliff

I am a cliff climber 

After fifty years I am damn good at it too

At least now I know

I am not alone

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No words need to be said

 

Mx. Anunnaki Ray
November 27, 2017

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I found this picture (above). Photograph Credits: Gordon Wiltsie/National Geographic/Caters News.  It was the best in describing how I feel today.
Bridge Building, Civil Rights, Cosmetic Genital Surgery, Human Rights, Human Rights Violations, Intersex Awareness, Prejudice, Self-Determination, Transgender, United Nations

Every Human Deserves Self-Determination

Earth at night - Asia

It is impossible for me to please everyone in the intersex and transgender community.  MLK Jr was NOT liked by all in his community. He moved forward anyway.  I do the best I can to respect everyone.

I always say:  when you have met ONE intersex person you have met ONE intersex person.   Some of us are cis-gender (agree with our birth assignment) and heterosexual, and not needing nor wanting the support of the LGBTQ+ Rainbow.  Yet, some of us appear LGBTQ+ and want those added supports.  It is a balancing act as an educator of Gender/Intersex topics, and as an activist to try to please everyone.  I have the best intentions always and am always open to suggestions.  You can write me in the contact form below.

I  do what I am doing mostly to save children from nonconsenting cosmetic genital surgeries and to teach the world to give ALL children the self-determination of gender.

I am not doing this for financial gain obviously. I am doing this to save children. I am not doing this for fame, to be a rock star or to be the most popular. I am doing this for children. I have made it very clear to the world that it is our self-determination that is a human right.

I have never excluded a soul, not even those who are NOT intersex. I say: Gender/intersex for a reason.  Gender Identity/Biology.   Both different but work together.  This means I include transgender in my human rights quest. 

All humans, regardless of their biological sex being endosex or intersex, have the right to self-determine their own gender identity, gender expression, and sexual orientation; and it should have NOTHING to do with their genitals, reproductive system, chromosomes, and hormones unless THEY want it to be about that.

No human being should be aborted, physically mutilated, psychiatrically violated, or coerced into having surgery due to laws, social stressors to conform, or being a psychosocial emergency. Those who conform should NOT be the only people who get privilege in society while casting out those who do not conform violently.

For those adults who do elect to have genital reassignment surgery, it is also our human right to alter our bodily appearance.  However, these surgeries should never be done on non-consenting intersex children or due to the coercion of government laws claiming we have no choice but to do so to change our gender identity.

Last,  I feel it is our human right to be who we are naturally, as intersex or transgender people,  and to not have to abide to social rules at the cost of losing our fertility, orgasm and genital integrity.  Unless of course, that is our choice to do so as a consenting adult.

I do not care how one labels themselves, or how one is diagnosed. Human Rights are Human Rights violations and this world has to stop hurting people.

 

Imagine What Seven Billion

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Poems

My Poem: I am the Storm

 

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I am the Storm.

The Unforgivable.

I put this world on its head now.

When I decided to no longer remain silent, my blood family turned me into the living dead.

As Hurricane Irma approaches I realized once more that life can be short.

When I appeared a woman to this world, so sick in my hospital bed, it was no different then.  I was dying I was alone then too.

My very being mortified you back then like it does now!

My only crime being born different.

I am the Storm.

The Unforgivable.

I put this world on its head now.

I embarrass you don’t I?

There is no concern because I am the living dead to you. 

And yet here I am writing this about you!   

I am your brother you refuse to meet.

Why do I even allow you to rent space in my mind? 

I wonder what Karma is like for such ass holes.

I am the storm

because I prove your lies are lies!

 

By Mx. Anunnaki Ray

September 9th, 2017

Note: Hurrican Irma will be hitting my area, here in Florida, September 9th, 2017.  To the best of our ability, my family hopes to be safe.  Remember, together we change this world. Together we are the storm. 

Poems I Have Written

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Hate Crimes, Human Rights, Human Rights Violations, Intersex Activist, Intersex Awareness, Intersex Erasure, Intersex People, Intersex Traits, Prejudice, Uncategorized

If this is not eugenics and genocide what is it?

Stop the Eugenics and Genocide of Intersex

Here is something that should not go unspoken anymore: 

The plan for the extinction of us intersex people: If they can’t abort us when detected in-utero, when we are born they will make us infertile. If we are a risk of appearing homosexual to this world, they will cut off our parts, and create parts. Worse, these atrocities and human rights violations are all socially justified. If we appear non-conforming gender, they will make sure we are unemployable, be rejected by homeless shelters, and we will starve. There are far more things that make it impossible to survive, but this short list sums it up nicely. If this is not eugenics and genocide, what is it?

Articles that you may want to read regarding this: 
Selective Intersex Abortions: XXY 74%, Indeterminate Sex 47%, Hypospadias 2%
Why I’m Disturbed by Screening for Intersex Traits in Utero
Here is the United Nations’ Intersex Fact Sheet

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Related Poems I wrote: 
Poem: STOP the Unthinkable!
Poem: I am a Boxphobe!
My related blogs: 
My thoughts about the Third Gender Box and Gender X
Five ways I show that the Male/Female Binary is a Myth, and a Social Construct. Nature has always Created Sexual Variety and Diversity.

 

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Anonymous Messages, Human Rights, Prejudice, Relationships

An Anonymous Message from a Suicidal Intersex Survivor

WE ARE HUMAN with Feather

I have been helping an intersex survivor and asked to share their words to this world.  I Hope this makes everyone give pause.  It is no wonder why the suicide rate is so high.  I have felt the same at times:

I may seem like a strong person, but in reality, I am fragile deep inside, you have no clue to my daily battles, you have no clue what it’s like to be in my skin. When people treat me different I feel it deep within and though I shouldn’t let things get to me, they do, for I have to fight every day to be just me, when people see only my disability and disorders, you fail to see that I am just as good a human being like anyone else, so fuck you for making me feel worthless and unworthy of love, friendship and happiness like anyone else, because of the way I look and the way I was born.

I do dream of a day I will be seen just as human being with the same needs and wants as any other human being, sure my body is different, but so is the colour of your hair, and eyes, I am just another variance of the human experience, I get treated poorly by gay guys because of my feminine features and treated like I’m not worthy of love, friendship and dates. My experience with date sites has been nothing more than a million question time and curiosity seekers, never thinking I’m a person just like them.

Intersex is not a deformation of the human body, it is natural variance of the human experience, intersex is not a taboo, what is taboo is the ignorance of a society that has little to no respect for others in their own unique form, being intersex is not a religious sin of deformation, but what is a sin is you lack of acceptance and love, and further more intersex people are just that people, intersex people are within every facet of society and are worthy of love, peace and compassion, and if you fail to be on that Level of equality with any type of person then you have failed in being a child of God and you have failed to be a true human being with good humble values.

Maybe this world change, and become a nicer place for people born with a difference, and words like this never have to be spoken again.

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Cultural Dysphoria, Poems, Prejudice, Relationships, Self-Determination

Poem: Somebody else was in control

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They told me I had to be a girl.

Can you imagine being told you are a girl?

Somebody else was in control. 

At three years old, they told me my body could never pass as a boy.

Can you imagine being told your body is wrong at three?

Somebody else was in control.

So, as a teen, they locked me up for months at a time.

Stuffed poison into my body, to numb the pain.

I became a walking zombie.

Diagnosing me the sick one.

The wrong one.

The broken one.

 

Estrogen

Somebody stepped inside my soul.

Little by little they robbed and stole.

Somebody else was in control.

So, a girl emerged to please you.    

 

A lifetime wasted

I saved myself and emerged my birth right.

And now we have no family.

Because they think I am the wrong one.

You liars, you convinced this world! 

I have a will for survival.

So you can hurt me, and hurt me some more

I can live with denial

But you’re not my troubles anymore.

By Anunnaki Ray

July 18th, 2017

 

Dedicated to U2 – The Troubles

(This link will take you to Youtube).

 

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