Intersex Awareness, Intersex Phobia, Prejudice, Relationships, Short Messages

PTSD and being an Intersex Survivor during the Holidays

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I have a few friends, like myself, who have horrible PTSD, and who were violated in various ways and also assigned the wrong gender. The cost: their genitals, fertility, not knowing what they would have naturally looked like, losing friends, losing family, losing their jobs; every aspect of their lives touched and sometimes destroyed by ignorance or outright bigotry.

We are the victims and survivors of attempted genocide and eugenics. Of course, we are broken and learning desperately to create a life for ourselves out of the pieces.

The Holidays are very hard for some of us. We do visit a dark place at times. We need your patience, your love, your empathy. Walk with us during the storms, do not try to fix us.  Love us gently, listen with care, and be there for us.

There is no magic wand, no drug, no prescription, no amount of alcohol, no doctor, no perfect therapy that can fix this form of grief around being violated.

For me, learning to ride the storms is the only method that has worked. Knowing that these storms will end and to remember to dance in the rain, and hold on like hell during the tsunamis!  I do not want to die, but wanting to end this pain is very real at times.  I know of many intersex survivors who get this.   Many of us don’t even feel like we are from this world, we feel like alien outcasts or alien visitors.

With all this said, most important I have learned to allow people to love me and go out of my way to love others who fight this same battle.  This world has to stop hurting people like us and celebrate our births again.

Loving you, if you get this. Stay strong

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~.V.~ 

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Bridge Building, Celebrations, Freedom, Intersex People, Short Messages, Transgender

Veterans Day: No one gets left behind or forgotten.

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We care! 

Transgender/Intersex Civil Rights Community

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Poems, Short Messages

The Alphabet of HUMAN SEXUALITY: A through Z

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The Alphabet of  HUMAN SEXUALITY:  

A through Z 

This A through Z list includes a mixture of ways to describe, Biological Sex, Gender Identity, Gender Expression, Sexual Orientation, Romantic Orientation, Affectionate Orientation, Kink, Fetish Culture, a few miscellaneous labels, and some labels that are socially taboo!  

 

A

Asexual     Agender    Ally    Androgynosexual     Androsexual     Autosexual    Aromantic     Androgynous    Androgyny

B

Bi-sexual    Bi-Gender    Beastiality  Butch Lesbian  Bear   

Bi-romantic  BDSM Pride

C

Cis-gender    Ceterosexual    Ceteromantic    Cross Dresser

D

Dyadic    Demifluid    Demigender   Demiguy   Demigirl  

 Demisexual    Demiromantic   Drag Queen    Drag King

E

Endosex    Erotic Fetishism   Erotopathic

F

Fat Fetish Pride  Femme

G

Gay    Gender Fluid    Gender Queer   Gender Conforming  

Gender Non-conforming   Greyromantic

H

Homosexual   Heterosexual  Heteroromantic  Homoromantic  

Hermaphrodite

I

Intersex    Intergender   Intersexual

J

Jazbo     Jerk Jamby     Johnnie

K

Kink Culture   Kleptolagnia

L

Lesbian     Lipstick Lesbian    Leather Fetish Pride

M

Multi-gender    Metrosexual   Masculine   Master-Slave Fetish Pride

N

Neuter   Neutrois    Non-romantic   Non-conforming Gender  

Non-Binary Gender

O

Oragenitalism   Objectum Sexuals  Objectophilia Object Sexuality  

Ownership  Fetish Pride

P

Pangender    Pansexual    Polymory    Pomosexual    Polysexual   

Promiscuous    Prostitute   Panromantic   Puppy Pride

Q

Queer    Questioning    Queen

R

Rubber Fetish Pride

S

Sex    Sapiosexual   Self Erotica   Sexual Fetishism    

Straight Ally

T

Transgender    Transmasculine   Transexual   Tri-gender  

Two-spirted   Twink

U

Undinism   Urophilia  Unattached   UFO’s  

V

Virgen    Vampirism   Vestiphile

W

Wacker    Wackomantic    Wagtail

X

Xenophile  X-Dresser

Y

Yanking   Yentz   Yodeler

Z

Zoomania  Zoophilia

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By Mx. Anunnaki Ray 

August 24, 2017

A note to reader:

I list everything, no matter how taboo, but did not include many that are out right offensive.  Also, ‘Hermaphrodite’ should never be used unless given permission by the person who is intersex; It is considered stigmatizing to some intersex people, so take care.  Last, I add “ally” and “straight ally”, because sometimes when our allies love us marginalized sexual minorities they become accomplices and often receive hate and prejudice too. 

References: 

  1. Helpful LGBTQIA+ Definitions and Human Sexuality (With Flags and Symbols)
  2. Sex-lexis.com   
  3. Gender Wiki 

 

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Civil Rights, Human Rights, Intersex Activist, Intersex Awareness, Intersex Erasure, Relationships, Short Messages

Stop Erasing us.

It is always interesting to me how some people would rather end a relationship, and sometimes end a long term friendship, than try to find in their hearts room for another type of person or culture. I become raw with it all.
It doesn’t matter even if they are blood and family. It doesn’t matter of they are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. The rainbow does not always agree. I assure you! I have actually had an easier time changing the hearts of fanatical Christians, than the hearts of an LGBT person that depends heavily on a male/female gender binary to justify their existence.
I lived your reality for 46 years, and it almost killed me. I refuse to agree with this delusional world, when it comes to gender. Yes, to me it is a delusion, if it erased my right to exist in this world.
It’s societies turn to change. I am done conforming to a world that literally erased my right to exist, when I was standing in front of you! No, it doesn’t take an “open mind”; it takes common sense. If your mind is closed or not doesn’t matter to me. More like, OPEN YOUR EYES! When you open your eyes, you are no longer allowed to call me a disorder! How else do you describe my existence? The male/female binary is a social construct. It is not even based on good science if it is harming innocent children born intersex to this world.
I stand my ground. I change culture now so that little kids born like me have a place in society. WAKE UP WORLD! It is time to stop erasing us, mutilating us, aborting us, devaluing us, and outcasting us!
I long for that world that celebrates our birth. www.anunnakiray.com
Sincerely, Mx. Anunnaki Ray
Questions and Answers, Short Messages

I am finally writing my life story.

Dear followers, 
I want to let you know that if you follow this blog, I won’t be writing as much here for the time being.  
I am finally writing my life story and it will obviously be taking up much of my time now. 
A big thank you to those who follow me.   Be patient, more to come soon!   If you would like to write me, please do so by contacted me at e-mail:  anunnakiray@outlook.com  
Sincerely,
Mx. Anunnaki Ray 

 

 

Hate Crimes, Human Rights, Intersex Awareness, Intersex People, Prejudice, Short Messages, Transgender, United Nations

Dear Ally, It is your responsibility to keep us safe, and here is how.

Gender Etiquette 101 Misgendering

This meme was not created so much for me, since I am OUT publicly. I created it mostly for those who deserve to live stealth lives and not be outed. They did not ask for it like i did, and to be “OUT” is not always safe.
Now that I am a public figure, and like many intersex or transgender activist, or advocates, I have shared with the world in order to change this world! I have shared things about myself that most could never imagine sharing about themselves.
Please, if you know me, it is your responsibility to make sure I remain safe. Since my story is out there, don’t gossip about me! Instead, Educate, educate, educate! It is only by changing culture that we make this world safe for all the babies born intersex or transgender.   I strongly suggest you use resources from  United Nations’ Free & Equal Campaign  to accurately advocate for your LGBTQIA+ friends.  The United Nations’ offers many sheets you can print and hand out.

Last, and most important, there are countless others, who are not “OUT”,  and should not have their lives destroyed by rumors, gossip, or people sharing about who they are without their permission.   They are not activist, or advocates, and they deserve their privacy and safety.  So if you are privileged to know an intersex or transgender person, please protect their right to dignity, privacy and safety.   One simple rule of thumb: Always ask the person before sharing.
Here is the intersex  and LGBT Fact sheets created by the United Nations.  These two sheets are an excellent resource to print and share around.  Here they are below in the links provided.

  1. Here is the United Nations Intersex Fact Sheet 
  2. Here is the United Nations LGBT Fact Sheet 

Here are my other Gender Etiquette 101 memes:  Anunnaki’s Gender Etiquette 101

THANK YOU, for helping us to make this a safer world, and to educate and change culture!

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Anonymous Messages, Human Rights, Human Rights Violations, Intersex Awareness, Short Messages, United Nations

An Anonymous Message From an Intersex Survivor of Non-consensual​ Surgery.

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I want people to see what I get to see as an intersex advocate, educator and as a friend.  I received permission to publish this heart breaking response from a Facebook friend of mine who has survived non-consensual surgery as a child.  It was in response to the meme you see above:  

I am trying, it kills me to think that it’s still happening.  If only people knew what happens and what happens later on in life.  It’s a jail sentence for a crime us intersex individuals have to face in every aspect of our lives.

This cruel medical practice must stop, and I say to any mother or father in a position of having to make a choice on the matter please, please I beg of you with tears in my eyes, love you child, love them completely, love them with all the night in your heart, but please don’t destroy their body.

It’s a hard life, and a mental Truma I live with every day of my life.  Please all you need is to love and accept that your beautiful baby is normal and is not a deformative disorder.  Intersex is beautiful.

This person will never get restitution.   At this time only Malta and Chile have out lawed non-consensual corrective surgeries on intersex infants.  Below is what the United Nations says about it:

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Here is the United Nations’Intersex Fact Sheet

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Related Blogs about Malta and Chile (Flag Pin shown above): 

When will the rest of the world catch up with Malta?

Chile outlawed unnecessary Genital “Normalizing” Surgeries on Intersex Babies! 2nd country to do so since last April 2015, when Malta was the first.

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#StopIGM = Stop Intersex Genital Mutilation 

#NoBodyIsShameful 

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