Gender, Human Rights, Intersex Awareness, Self-Determination, Transgender

A Penis and a Vagina does not Create our Gender Identity

I like to teach that gender is our personality and that a penis and a vagina does not create our gender identity. We are not assigned our personality, we just become it. Just like becoming left or right handed, or being able to be ambidextrous and use both hands.  We now trust a child to choose if they are left handed, right handed or ambidextrous when they are very young.

This analogy of handedness can be used when an intersex child is born both and even holds true for any child.  It holds true even if they are born with an endosex (not intersex) body.  All children figure out their gender and they do it relatively young and before they even start grade school.

My Thoughts Regarding Intersex Children:

Here is the United Nations’  intersex FACT SHEET.  I believe that genitals, reproductives systems, hormones, and chromosomes will never create our gender identity.

If we just relax and wait, I promise the baby will let the world know.  All of us who were assigned wrong at birth have all proven that no expert, no chromosomal test, no MRI, CatScan or blood test can determine the gender of any of us 100% of the time.   Yes, sometimes surgeries are medically necessary, but most the time they are only cosmetic and have horrible consequences.  This means a lot of errors have been made and permanently so with non-reversible surgeries.   I know too many un-happy intersex people to prove the experiment of assigning our gender surgically has failed miserably and has to stop.  The obvious solution is to wait and let the baby decide their gender.

My Thoughts Regarding Transgender Children: 

If we gave self-determination of gender to all humans, the diagnosis of gender dysphoria and the label ‘transgender’ would vanish too.   It is our culture that has decided what genitals belong to what gender.  Anything outside of that expectation is now called gender dysphoria.  When I feel it is truly a case of cultural dysphoria around genitals and gender.  However, the label transgender is very important to our culture right now, so we have to take on the discrimination that us transgender people face very seriously.

Yet, in the perfect world, if we gave self-determination to everyone, no one would have to transition or be diagnosed to do so.  Birth Certificates would now only take note that a human was born.  My friend, Mo Cortez, Intersex Advocate from Houston, once shared that maybe our blood type could be put on our birth certificate in place of male or female.  Is our gender marker truly necessary on our birth certificate?  Many feel it is not for many reasons.

One last note: Self-Determination is a human right, and only with consensual adults should genital cosmetic corrective surgeries be performed.  No government should dictate that an adult trans person has to have gender confirmation surgeries to validate their identity.  Surgery should remain a personal choice and not a requirement for a transition from one gender to the other.  Sex reassignment surgeries are also a solution for severe forms of gender dysphoria and should always be available to those who require it.  The World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) states: 

“The medical procedures attendant to sex reassignment are not ‘cosmetic’ or ‘elective’ or for the mere convenience of the patient. These reconstructive procedures are not optional in any meaningful sense, but are understood to be medically necessary for the treatment of the diagnosed condition.”

Back to Intersex Natural Variations: 

Right now intersex variations are diagnosed as medical conditions.  When they are truly just naturally occurring natural bodily variations.  Can you imagine if we gave a diagnosis to male or female?  It is no different.  Intersex is the biological sex of an intersex person.  Just like anyone an intersex baby can grow up to have any gender identity, gender expression or sexual orientation.   Surgeries are not going to keep these things from happening.  Yes, there are going to be gay, lesbian, and transgender appearing intersex kids and people, and the world has to get over itself.

A Gender Self-Determining World: 

If all children were no longer taught that their genitals made them a boy or a girl, and genital integrity was taught early on, wouldn’t this be a better world for intersex, transgender, and non-conforming people?  I believe that ‘no body is shameful’ and that a person can be the personality of any gender:  male, female, both or neither.

I also believe that it is not just intersex kids that need to learn that nobody is shameful.  It is all of us humans, especially transgender children.  Whom I feel are also being coerced to think they need genital surgeries when they grow up.

If everyone was given the self-determination of their gender, we might be very surprised to see a world emerge “gender nonconforming”: 

There are three ways to be a gender non-conformist:

1) Our physical bodies appearing both or neither.  We can be born biologically endosex (not intersex) or intersex.

2) Our Gender identity (our personality as male, female both or neither).

3) Our Gender Expression (how we dress, our hair, or appear to this world).

We can have one, two, or a mixture of these.  As you can see there will be many words and labels that describe all these states of being too.  I hope for a world that can evolve to stop thinking genitals create our gender and we can all just simply be with genital integrity.

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 Fix Society, Please.  

 Helpful Definitions of Human Sexuality

 

Fix Society with Angel Feather
Hope for a Better World.

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Anunnaki Ray's Photographic Stories, Celebrations, Emancipation, Human Rights, Intersex Awareness, Self-Determination

Intersex Day of Remembrance and Solidarity 2017

Intersex Day of Remembrance, also known as Intersex Solidarity Day, is an international awareness day that aims to draw attention to the issues faced by members of the intersex community. It is observed on November 8, marking the birth anniversary of Herculine Barbin.  Herculine was a hermaphrodite who wrote a memoir about their life and the tragedies they faced in the nineteenth century.

Today I will celebrate then and now, with an intersex child named Joey, who is getting the right to self-determine her own gender.  I too have emancipated my true gender and my right to self-determination.  The biggest problem we intersex people face is the forced assignment of gender as children, in the form of non-consensual genital surgeries, hormones, and psychiatric treatments.  Together we have to work to stop these atrocities.  To learn more about those of us born intersex, here is the United Nations Intersex Fact Sheet.

May we never forget that we walked among you then, and now.  The Self-Determination of our own Gender is our Human Right.

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Herculine Barbin: Being the Recently Discovered Memoirs of a Nineteenth-century French Hermaphrodite

By Herculine Barbin, Richard McDougall (Translator), Michel Foucault(introduction):
“With an eye for the sensual bloom of young schoolgirls & the torrid style of the romantic novels of her day, Herculine Barbin tells the story of her life as a hermaphrodite. Herculine was designated female at birth. A pious girl in a Catholic orphanage, a bewildered adolescent enchanted by the ripening bodies of classmates, a passionate lover of a schoolmistress, she’s suddenly reclassified as male. Alone & desolate, he commits suicide, aged 30, in a miserable Paris attic. Here’s a lost voice of the sexual past in an erotic diary. Provocative, articulate, eerily prescient as she imagines her corpse under the probing instruments of scientists, Herculine brings a disturbing perspective to our notions of sexuality. Foucault, who discovered these memoirs in the archives of the French Department of Public Hygiene, presents them with the graphic medical descriptions of Herculine’s body before & after death. In a striking contrast, a painfully confused young person & the doctors who examine her try to sort out the nature of masculine & feminine at the dawn of the age of modern sexuality.”
“Herculine Barbin can be savored like a libertine novel. The ingenousness of Herculine, the passionate yet equivocal tenderness which thrusts her into the arms, even into the beds, of her companions, gives these pages a charm strangely erotic…Michel Foucault has a genius for bringing to light texts & reviving destinies outside the ordinary.”–Le Monde, 7/1978

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The Intersex Flag 

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Pirate Antonio Phoenix was born INTERSEX!

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HAPPY Intersex Awareness Day 2017! Joey meets Pirate Antonio Phoenix AND Joey’s Gift: Self-Determination

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Photography From Seth Langner at Karmathartic

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Bridge Building, Civil Rights, Cosmetic Genital Surgery, Human Rights, Human Rights Violations, Intersex Awareness, Prejudice, Self-Determination, Transgender, United Nations

Every Human Deserves Self-Determination

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It is impossible for me to please everyone in the intersex and transgender community.  MLK Jr was NOT liked by all in his community. He moved forward anyway.  I do the best I can to respect everyone.

I always say:  when you have met ONE intersex person you have met ONE intersex person.   Some of us are cis-gender (agree with our birth assignment) and heterosexual, and not needing nor wanting the support of the LGBTQ+ Rainbow.  Yet, some of us appear LGBTQ+ and want those added supports.  It is a balancing act as an educator of Gender/Intersex topics, and as an activist to try to please everyone.  I have the best intentions always and am always open to suggestions.  You can write me in the contact form below.

I  do what I am doing mostly to save children from nonconsenting cosmetic genital surgeries and to teach the world to give ALL children the self-determination of gender.

I am not doing this for financial gain obviously. I am doing this to save children. I am not doing this for fame, to be a rock star or to be the most popular. I am doing this for children. I have made it very clear to the world that it is our self-determination that is a human right.

I have never excluded a soul, not even those who are NOT intersex. I say: Gender/intersex for a reason.  Gender Identity/Biology.   Both different but work together.  This means I include transgender in my human rights quest. 

All humans, regardless of their biological sex being endosex or intersex, have the right to self-determine their own gender identity, gender expression, and sexual orientation; and it should have NOTHING to do with their genitals, reproductive system, chromosomes, and hormones unless THEY want it to be about that.

No human being should be aborted, physically mutilated, psychiatrically violated, or coerced into having surgery due to laws, social stressors to conform, or being a psychosocial emergency. Those who conform should NOT be the only people who get privilege in society while casting out those who do not conform violently.

For those adults who do elect to have genital reassignment surgery, it is also our human right to alter our bodily appearance.  However, these surgeries should never be done on non-consenting intersex children or due to the coercion of government laws claiming we have no choice but to do so to change our gender identity.

Last,  I feel it is our human right to be who we are naturally, as intersex or transgender people,  and to not have to abide to social rules at the cost of losing our fertility, orgasm and genital integrity.  Unless of course, that is our choice to do so as a consenting adult.

I do not care how one labels themselves, or how one is diagnosed. Human Rights are Human Rights violations and this world has to stop hurting people.

 

Imagine What Seven Billion

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Bridge Building, Human Rights, Intersex Awareness, Intersex People, Relationships

Why I feel INTERSEX should be added to the LGBTQ rainbow

I feel it is now time to create more allies, create more supportive organizations, and give a way for organizations that want to become intersex inclusive direction on how they can help us end these atrocities that intersex people face.  These human rights violations are in regards to aborting healthy intersex fetuses, and ending non-consenting cosmetic corrective surgeries that are not medically necessary that are being done to intersex infants and children.  Surgeries that often fail miserably, create genitals with poor sexual sensitivity.  Surgeries that often assign us the wrong gender, are not reversible, take away our fertility, and sadly lead to repeat surgeries.  All of this leading to psychological and physical trauma throughout our lives.

Many organizations such as PFLAG are now showing they are welcoming to intersex, and many PFLAG chapters are wanting to become more inclusive to intersex.  However, adding the “I” needs to be done with great care and I personally can be contacted to make sure that this is done responsibly.

Here is my e-mail: anunnakiray@outlook.com and a page dedicated just to PFLAG chapters who are ready to become intersex inclusive: Intersex Inclusive PFLAG Chapters.

Below I will talk about the reason to add the “I” to the acronyms LGBTQ+.  Below I show why I am for this inclusion of intersex:

Reasons to add the “I”:

  1. Hida Viloria, the Executive Director of Oii-USA and Intersex Campaign for Equality shares how intersex people often identify, and how some of us will appear simply either male or female or queer:   How Intersex People Identify.  Co-authored with Dana Zzyyn.
  2. Statistics show that over 50% of us intersex people identify with a sexual orientation that appears gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, pansexual, asexual and more.  Statistics from: Demographics from Oii-Australia
  3. Statistics also show that an intersex person can have any gender identity.   Some intersex people are cis-gender (agree with birth assignment) and conform to either male or female.  Some of us are simply queer, intergender, non-binary or gender nonconforming.  There are also few of us who identify as transgender and intersex both. Statistics from: Demographics from Oii-Australia
  4. Cary Costello Ph.D. talks about how some of us who are intersex sometimes appear as transgender or identify and call ourselves transgender:   Cis Gender, Trans Gender, and Intersex  Cary also shares how homophobia is often behind genetic experts suggesting to terminate and abort healthy intersex fetuses:  On Eugenic Abortion of the Intersex.  An LGBTQ organization is going to have the sensitivity to deal with transphobia and homophobia.
  5. When a person, like myself, realizes that they are intersex instead of a disorder and that their biological sex is intersex, finding a safe space among other sexual minorities is important.  I know it was for my family, especially if we may also appear LGBTQ+.
  6. For me being a part of the LGBTQ+ groups showed me it was ok to be a sexual minority.  It allowed me to feel ok with my appearing gay and transgender.  Thus helping my self-determination and not having shame.  I feel it could give this gift to other intersex people who may also naturally appear LGBTQ+
  7. If an organization takes the time to educate themselves about intersex, it could create more safe spaces for us LGBTQ+ intersex people.  Especially those of us who also identify as transgender, non-binary, nonconforming, or queer.   I see how this happened when the “T” was added to LGB.  Although some trans appear heterosexual, some also now appear lesbian, gay or queer, just like some of us intersex people and this inclusion was very helpful to the transgender community.

Reasons to not add the “I”:

  1. The fear of intersex being mixed up as a gender identity or a sexual orientation problem.
  2. Some intersex people consider themselves a disorder of sex development still, and are happy with their intersex diagnosis and don’t feel their diagnosis has anything to do with being  LGBTQ+ or being a sexual minority.
  3. The way I see it, it could simply be a case of  Homophobia, Transphobia, Queerphobia, Intersex phobia that keeps people from wanting to add the “I”.
  4. Some intersex people are cis-gender (agree with their birth assignment) and also appear heterosexual.  They don’t have any reason to need to be affiliated with LGBTQ+, pride parades or any of it.

My solution to those who don’t want the “I” added:

To alleviate confusion, it is important to educate that intersex is about biological sex and biology, and that the biggest problems we face are the forced assignment of gender, surgically, or hormonally.  Intersex advocates, activists, and educators are trying to end our being aborted when detected in-utero and the non-consenting surgeries on infants and children.   When adding the “I” to your organization it is my hope that you will also make it a part of your effort to make this a safer world for those of us born intersex.  Last, it should be always educated that some intersex people do not appear LGBTQ+, nor need to.

Further, for those intersex people who do not even feel they are intersex, that is their right to not declare it and to embrace their diagnosis or conditions as not intersex.  However, just because they don’t feel they have a variation of intersex, nor want LGBTQI+ support, doesn’t mean that over half of the intersex community won’t benefit from it.  Which again, is a person’s right to self-determination and should always be respected.

With all this said: 

I personally feel that it is time to include the “I”, but only if it is done with great responsibility and education about ending non-consensual genital corrective surgeries on intersex infants and children.  While also guiding people to the correct organizations to support genital integrity.  Here is a list that is always necessary to make sure intersex people get the right supports and are not mixed up with transgender:

Important Organizations to Include on your website if you add Intersex to LGBTQ+:

Below are links that will ensure that parents in the USA, Australia, and other countries, are guided to informed and safe people that will reinforce the self-determination of gender,  and that “No Body is Shameful”, and can support  genital integrity:

Two PDF files you can print and distribute:

1) United Nations INTERSEX Factsheet from United Nations

2) Brief Guidelines for Intersex Allies

Links you should add to your organization’s website: 

1) Intersex Campaign for Equality  AKA Organization Intersex International, USA: Oii-USA.org  

2) Organization Intersex International: Oii-Australia

3) Organization Intersex International Network (World Wide list)

4) Intersex Support for Parents (Closed FB Group)

5) Houston Intersex Society

6) InterACT Advocates for Intersex Youth: interactadvocates.org

7) StopIGM.org (Ending intersex genital mutilation) 

8) Mx. Anunnaki Ray Gender/INTERSEX Activist, Educator, Writer and Speaker



References:  Important articles and data that shows me it is time to include intersex to LGBTQ:  

  1. The Forgotten Vowel: How Intersex Liberation Benefits the Entire LGBTQIA Community By Hida Viloria
  2. How Intersex People Identify By Hida Viloria and Dana Zzyym
  3. Cis Gender, Transgender, and Intersex By Cary Costello Ph.D.
  4. On Eugenic Abortion of the Intersex By Cary G. Costello Ph.D.
  5. THEIR TIME After generations in the shadows, the intersex rights movement has a message for the world: We aren’t disordered and we aren’t ashamed
  6. Demographics of intersex people in Australia borrowed from Oii-Australia:

Quote:  An independent 2015 survey of 272 people born with atypical sex characteristics has provided us with good statistical information for the first time. The survey was led by Dr. Tiffany Jones of the University of New England, and it was published in February 2016. It shows very diverse understandings of intersex bodies, sexes, and genders.

Graphics below borrowed from Demographics from Oii-Australia:

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Assuming that human sexual behavior is similar to Australia globally, as you can now see, the evidence from Oii-Australia shows the need.  Thus helping all infants and children be taught that they are ok being born into the bodies they are born into, regardless of how their sexual orientation, gender identity, or actual biological sex is recognized by this world when they become adults.  Adults who may or may not even need marriage equality, if we grow up to appear gay or lesbian.  Here is a personal blog that shares about how my family needs intersex inclusion: Are my Husband and I Gay Men Now? How We Became Sexual Minorities, Our Intersex Love Story.

Regardless of how us intersex people appear to this world when we grow up, the self-determination of gender and our genital integrity is our human right.

Here are Helpful LGBTQIA+ Definitions that help to explain Human Sexuality. 

If you would like guidance on adding the “I” responsibly to your organizations’ acronyms please contact me: 

 

 

 


Important blogs I have written that support adding the “I” to LGBTQ+: 

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Celebrations, Intersex Awareness, Self-Determination

HAPPY Intersex Awareness Day 2017! Joey meets Pirate Antonio Phoenix

 

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Every Intersex Awareness Day is a very special day for me.  However, this year is far more special.  This year I would like to introduce a very brave little intersex girl named Joey.  To our amazement there we were in the same city!   Tiescha Thomasson is the amazing mother, my personal friend, and who is also the founder of the Facebook Group  Intersex Support for Parents.  I am the moderator and administrator to this group, where we gather with many important people in the intersex community to give support and guidance to the parents of intersex children.

You see, Tiesha’s daughter was born intersex.  With the blessing of her parents, she comes out to the world to show all her pride this year with me as my pirate persona Pirate Antonio Phoenix!   So now the world knows that Anunnaki merges forever with Antonio and for the intersex children I walk forth as both!   

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Let me also share a message from Joey’s mother, Tiescha,  about how as parents they came to terms with agreeing to their daughter coming out to the world today.   Here is Tiesha’s message of giving Joey, her daughter, her blessing to come out to the world: 

In the past few years Joey started to ask questions about herself that were somewhat complicated to answer as a parent.

We evolved with her and started using resources online to articulate what we could not find words for.

She rapidly became more self-aware and in the past year found peace with who she is. Her questions did not stop, she began to conduct her own searches online and wanted to meet other Intersex children.

This lead to her wanting to help others in learning (In her words) “It’s okay to be Intersex.” As a baby Joey was subjected to surgery, she never had a say and her voice was stolen. We vowed to never allow this to happen again. She is now using her voice and has our unconditional support, love and guidance.

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All pirates share their booty!

Here is a special coin I give to Joey!  Joey’s parents are giving their daughter the right to self-determination: Joey’s Gift: Self-Determination.  I am deeply honored to be a part this family’s life journey.

 

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Joey, I promise to be there for your entire life journey.  To me, you are like a God Child, and I promise that am forever here to protect you.   This coin is a token to that promise.   You have now found yourself in my heart forever.

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Note:  An intersex child named Nathaniel was the first to meet Pirate Antonio Phoenix, but he remains anonymous.  If you have an intersex or transgender child who would like to meet Pirate Antonio Phoenix you can e-mail me and we can visit Old St. Augustine, Florida together: anunnakiray@outlook.com 

This message brought to you for INTERSEX Awareness Day 2017, with much gratitude to our photographer Seth Langner of Karmathartic

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Joey as a pirate for Halloween 2017 

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Anunnaki Ray's Photographic Stories, Celebrations, Intersex Awareness

Pirate Antonio Phoenix was born INTERSEX!

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We Are Real

Mx. Anunnaki Ray  is  Pirate Antonio Phoenix,  

and the world can now finally get over it, learn to accept me 100%, and can hopefully even learn to smile about it with me.  

XX Men exist and XX Women Exist.  Intersex and Transgender People Prove this truth all the time.  Intersex people are as common as 1.7% of the population.  That means we are as common as redheads.   This pirate is out of the closet for good!  

A life in the closet is no good for anyone.

We Are Human 

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When I was born in 1967,  I put this world on its head.  My true biological sex is intersex.  I was not born male or female, but my birth certificate could not reflect my true biological sex, which is intersex. 

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Not knowing what to do with me they assigned me female, and therapy taught me as a child to be a girl when I was not a girl.  Doctors made sure my hormones were aligned with girls when naturally they were not.  I lived most my life appearing as a female.

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In 2014 I decided to emancipate my true self.  With the help of my new doctors and councilors, I recovered from being very sick and disabled and emerged an androgynous man.

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After it destroying my life, I will no longer conform to the social and medical rules of the male-female binary.  I deserve to live the rest of my life “out” and be respected for who I am. It is time for this world to awaken to the truth around intersex natural bodily variations and I am here to teach about it.  

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I now stand strong to educate and change this world for the intersex babies born like me.  It is time that we all received our human rights and were given the right to determine our own gender as intersex children.  The forced assignment of gender, through surgical procedures and therapeutic manipulations, has to end.  Too many lives have been destroyed.  The experiment of assigning our gender is over!  

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To help intersex or transgender children and their parents, as pirates, our family now offers to get to know your family and will spend the day in Old St. Augustine Florida with you.  If you would like to hang out with us please e-mail me:  anunnakiray@outlook.com  

 

I Promise to Be Your Voice: My New Year Resolution for 2017

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The Story Behind this Yellow and Purple Intersex Flag

How I was medically & psychiatrically violated as an intersex person.

United Nations’ Intersex Fact Sheet

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This message is brought to you for INTERSEX Awareness Day 2017.

Photographs by Seth Langner of Karmathartic

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Poems, Short Messages

The Alphabet of HUMAN SEXUALITY: A through Z

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The Alphabet of  HUMAN SEXUALITY:  

A through Z 

This A through Z list includes a mixture of ways to describe, Biological Sex, Gender Identity, Gender Expression, Sexual Orientation, Romantic Orientation, Affectionate Orientation, Kink, Fetish Culture, a few miscellaneous labels, and some labels that are socially taboo!  

 

A

Asexual     Agender    Ally    Androgynosexual     Androsexual     Autosexual    Aromantic     Androgynous    Androgyny

B

Bi-sexual    Bi-Gender    Beastiality  Butch Lesbian  Bear   

Bi-romantic  BDSM Pride

C

Cis-gender    Ceterosexual    Ceteromantic    Cross Dresser

D

Dyadic    Demifluid    Demigender   Demiguy   Demigirl  

 Demisexual    Demiromantic   Drag Queen    Drag King

E

Endosex    Erotic Fetishism   Erotopathic

F

Fat Fetish Pride  Femme

G

Gay    Gender Fluid    Gender Queer   Gender Conforming  

Gender Non-conforming   Greyromantic

H

Homosexual   Heterosexual  Heteroromantic  Homoromantic  

Hermaphrodite

I

Intersex    Intergender   Intersexual

J

Jazbo     Jerk Jamby     Johnnie

K

Kink Culture   Kleptolagnia

L

Lesbian     Lipstick Lesbian    Leather Fetish Pride

M

Multi-gender    Metrosexual   Masculine   Master-Slave Fetish Pride

N

Neuter   Neutrois    Non-romantic   Non-conforming Gender  

Non-Binary Gender

O

Oragenitalism   Objectum Sexuals  Objectophilia Object Sexuality  

Ownership  Fetish Pride

P

Pangender    Pansexual    Polymory    Pomosexual    Polysexual   

Promiscuous    Prostitute   Panromantic   Puppy Pride

Q

Queer    Questioning    Queen

R

Rubber Fetish Pride

S

Sex    Sapiosexual   Self Erotica   Sexual Fetishism    

Straight Ally

T

Transgender    Transmasculine   Transexual   Tri-gender  

Two-spirted   Twink

U

Undinism   Urophilia  Unattached   UFO’s  

V

Virgen    Vampirism   Vestiphile

W

Wacker    Wackomantic    Wagtail

X

Xenophile  X-Dresser

Y

Yanking   Yentz   Yodeler

Z

Zoomania  Zoophilia

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By Mx. Anunnaki Ray 

August 24, 2017

A note to reader:

I list everything, no matter how taboo, but did not include many that are out right offensive.  Also, ‘Hermaphrodite’ should never be used unless given permission by the person who is intersex; It is considered stigmatizing to some intersex people, so take care.  Last, I add “ally” and “straight ally”, because sometimes when our allies love us marginalized sexual minorities they become accomplices and often receive hate and prejudice too. 

References: 

  1. Helpful LGBTQIA+ Definitions and Human Sexuality (With Flags and Symbols)
  2. Sex-lexis.com   
  3. Gender Wiki 

 

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