Gender, Human Rights, Intersex Awareness, Self-Determination, Transgender

A Penis and a Vagina does not Create our Gender Identity

I like to teach that gender is our personality and that a penis and a vagina does not create our gender identity. We are not assigned our personality, we just become it. Just like becoming left or right handed, or being able to be ambidextrous and use both hands.  We now trust a child to choose if they are left handed, right handed or ambidextrous when they are very young.

This analogy of handedness can be used when an intersex child is born both and even holds true for any child.  It holds true even if they are born with an endosex (not intersex) body.  All children figure out their gender and they do it relatively young and before they even start grade school.

My Thoughts Regarding Intersex Children:

Here is the United Nations’  intersex FACT SHEET.  I believe that genitals, reproductives systems, hormones, and chromosomes will never create our gender identity.

If we just relax and wait, I promise the baby will let the world know.  All of us who were assigned wrong at birth have all proven that no expert, no chromosomal test, no MRI, CatScan or blood test can determine the gender of any of us 100% of the time.   Yes, sometimes surgeries are medically necessary, but most the time they are only cosmetic and have horrible consequences.  This means a lot of errors have been made and permanently so with non-reversible surgeries.   I know too many un-happy intersex people to prove the experiment of assigning our gender surgically has failed miserably and has to stop.  The obvious solution is to wait and let the baby decide their gender.

My Thoughts Regarding Transgender Children: 

If we gave self-determination of gender to all humans, the diagnosis of gender dysphoria and the label ‘transgender’ would vanish too.   It is our culture that has decided what genitals belong to what gender.  Anything outside of that expectation is now called gender dysphoria.  When I feel it is truly a case of cultural dysphoria around genitals and gender.  However, the label transgender is very important to our culture right now, so we have to take on the discrimination that us transgender people face very seriously.

Yet, in the perfect world, if we gave self-determination to everyone, no one would have to transition or be diagnosed to do so.  Birth Certificates would now only take note that a human was born.  My friend, Mo Cortez, Intersex Advocate from Houston, once shared that maybe our blood type could be put on our birth certificate in place of male or female.  Is our gender marker truly necessary on our birth certificate?  Many feel it is not for many reasons.

One last note: Self-Determination is a human right, and only with consensual adults should genital cosmetic corrective surgeries be performed.  No government should dictate that an adult trans person has to have gender confirmation surgeries to validate their identity.  Surgery should remain a personal choice and not a requirement for a transition from one gender to the other.  Sex reassignment surgeries are also a solution for severe forms of gender dysphoria and should always be available to those who require it.  The World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) states: 

“The medical procedures attendant to sex reassignment are not ‘cosmetic’ or ‘elective’ or for the mere convenience of the patient. These reconstructive procedures are not optional in any meaningful sense, but are understood to be medically necessary for the treatment of the diagnosed condition.”

Back to Intersex Natural Variations: 

Right now intersex variations are diagnosed as medical conditions.  When they are truly just naturally occurring natural bodily variations.  Can you imagine if we gave a diagnosis to male or female?  It is no different.  Intersex is the biological sex of an intersex person.  Just like anyone an intersex baby can grow up to have any gender identity, gender expression or sexual orientation.   Surgeries are not going to keep these things from happening.  Yes, there are going to be gay, lesbian, and transgender appearing intersex kids and people, and the world has to get over itself.

A Gender Self-Determining World: 

If all children were no longer taught that their genitals made them a boy or a girl, and genital integrity was taught early on, wouldn’t this be a better world for intersex, transgender, and non-conforming people?  I believe that ‘no body is shameful’ and that a person can be the personality of any gender:  male, female, both or neither.

I also believe that it is not just intersex kids that need to learn that nobody is shameful.  It is all of us humans, especially transgender children.  Whom I feel are also being coerced to think they need genital surgeries when they grow up.

If everyone was given the self-determination of their gender, we might be very surprised to see a world emerge “gender nonconforming”: 

There are three ways to be a gender non-conformist:

1) Our physical bodies appearing both or neither.  We can be born biologically endosex (not intersex) or intersex.

2) Our Gender identity (our personality as male, female both or neither).

3) Our Gender Expression (how we dress, our hair, or appear to this world).

We can have one, two, or a mixture of these.  As you can see there will be many words and labels that describe all these states of being too.  I hope for a world that can evolve to stop thinking genitals create our gender and we can all just simply be with genital integrity.

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 Fix Society, Please.  

 Helpful Definitions of Human Sexuality

 

Fix Society with Angel Feather
Hope for a Better World.

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Intersex Phobia, Prejudice, Transphobia

Examples of Transphobia, Queerphobia, ​and Intersexphobia

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The following are a few examples of transphobic attitudes (note that sometimes these examples below can be examples of Queerphobia too):

  1. The belief/insistence that trans women are not “real women”
  2. The belief/insistence that trans men are not “real men”.
  3. The belief/insistence that non-binary genders are invalid and do not exist.
  4. The belief/insistence that transsexual people are gay people in denial and wish to have sex reassignment surgery to attempt to restore ‘heteronormativity’.
  5. The refusal to acknowledge a trans person’s true gender.
  6. The refusal to use the correct name for a trans person.
  7. Repeated and deliberate misgendering of trans people.
  8. The Exclusion of trans people from activities, services, or conversations.
  9. The belief that being transgender means you are mentally ill.
  10. The belief that conversion therapy and psychiatric manipulations, can somehow “cure” a transgender person.
  11. The belief that transgender means you are a sexual deviant or a pervert.
  12. Thinking that forcing a transgender person to use the bathroom of their birth-assigned gender will “protect” women and children, even if in reality it is actually increasing the chance of violence inflicted on the transgender person.
  13. The belief that a transgender person is an abomination or a sinner.
  14. Insisting that a transgender person must be confused about their own gender.
  15. The belief that we have to be segregated and not allowed in sports or gym class as our transitioned gender.
  16. The belief that we are somehow a danger in locker rooms.
  17. Not being able to participate in sports as our authentic transitioned gender, due to a perceived advantage, only due to our birth assignment not matching our true gender identity.  This happening even after complete hormonal transition.

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The following are a few examples of intersex phobic attitudes:

  1. Having problems with the word “intersex” because it has the word “sex” in it.
  2. The belief/insistence that intersex bodies are a disorder, syndrome, birth defect, or a condition, even when told that intersex is about having natural bodily variations.
  3. The belief/insistence of the medical community to continue their medicalized effort to eradicate intersex people from society by “normalizing” intersex bodies into more typically male or female bodies in order to maintain sex and gender norms.
  4. The belief/insistence that we are not lovable unless our bodies are hormonally or surgically fixed to conform to male and female sex and gender “norms”.  Which leads to violent discrimination, acted out through non-consensual genital surgeries on children.
  5. The belief/insistence that a person of the female gender cannot have a larger clitoris, phalloclitoris, penis or testicles.
  6. The belief/insistence that a person of the male gender cannot have a vagina, vulva, or ovaries.
  7. The belief/insistence that XY creates a male and XX creates a female.  When intersex XY women exist, and intersex XX men exist.
  8. The belief/insistence that intersex bodies do not exist and we are mythological.
  9. The belief/insistence that all intersex people are freaks, sexual deviants, perverts or pedophiles.
  10. The belief/insistence that intersex people are trying to trick or deceive you when referring to their true gender identity.
  11. The belief/insistence that gender is created by our genitals, reproductive system, hormones, and chromosomes when gender is more like our personality and can not be accurately medically determined through medical tests or lab work.
  12. The belief/insistence that if we are assigned the wrong gender, then we would have to be considered transgender if we emancipate our true gender later in life.  (This I feel is up to the person, and not to doctors, family or society).
  13. Intersex Erasure in the mainstream and alternative media.
  14. Intersex Erasure among the LGBT groups, in not wanting inclusion.
  15. Regulations against intersex female athletes (with high levels of natural testosterone) which require them to undergo medically unnecessary, “feminizing”, medical treatments such as hormone therapy, in order to compete as women.
  16. Feeling that intersex female athletes, who have higher natural testosterone,  are somehow breaking the rules, and are in need of punishment or treated as criminals.
  17. The belief that we are born a sexual abomination, while at the same time sexualizing intersex infants due to homophobia and transphobia.
  18. The assumption that if you are intersex that you must be gay.
  19. The assumption that all intersex people are unhealthy and/or mentally affected.
  20. The assumption that we must truly be transgender when we are not.  Only some intersex people identify as being both transgender and intersex.  It has to be up to that intersex person to determine this not society.
  21. The belief that we are not “real” women or “real” men, due to our intersex bodies, chromosomes, or hormones.
  22. The belief that we are somehow a danger to people in public bathrooms or locker rooms,  and being segregated out of gym class, or forced to use the nurse’s station’s bathroom in public schools as students.
  23. Being forced to use gender marked facilities that do not match our true gender identity, like locker rooms or bathrooms.
  24. As children having our bodies photographed without our consent, by doctors or predators, and later finding them published in medical journals, or on various websites, without our permission.

Please feel free to E-mail me if you would like me to add one.

Thank you!  

 

My related blogs:

The FEMALE PENIS and the MALE VAGINA; and explaining this to our children.

Five ways I show that the Male/Female Binary is a Myth, and a Social Construct. Nature has always Created Sexual Variety and Diversity.

Seven Names for the SAME thing: Penis, Phallus, Clitoris, Phalloclitoris, Micropenis, Microphalus, and Clitoromegaly.

 

Helpful References:

United Nations’ Intersex Fact Sheet

The Phalloclitoris: Anatomy and Ideology By Cary G. Costello

What is Intersexphobia or Interphobia?   By Hida Viloria

 

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Civil Rights, Human Rights, Intersex Activist, Intersex Awareness, Intersex Erasure, Relationships, Short Messages

Stop Erasing us.

It is always interesting to me how some people would rather end a relationship, and sometimes end a long term friendship, than try to find in their hearts room for another type of person or culture. I become raw with it all.
It doesn’t matter even if they are blood and family. It doesn’t matter of they are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. The rainbow does not always agree. I assure you! I have actually had an easier time changing the hearts of fanatical Christians, than the hearts of an LGBT person that depends heavily on a male/female gender binary to justify their existence.
I lived your reality for 46 years, and it almost killed me. I refuse to agree with this delusional world, when it comes to gender. Yes, to me it is a delusion, if it erased my right to exist in this world.
It’s societies turn to change. I am done conforming to a world that literally erased my right to exist, when I was standing in front of you! No, it doesn’t take an “open mind”; it takes common sense. If your mind is closed or not doesn’t matter to me. More like, OPEN YOUR EYES! When you open your eyes, you are no longer allowed to call me a disorder! How else do you describe my existence? The male/female binary is a social construct. It is not even based on good science if it is harming innocent children born intersex to this world.
I stand my ground. I change culture now so that little kids born like me have a place in society. WAKE UP WORLD! It is time to stop erasing us, mutilating us, aborting us, devaluing us, and outcasting us!
I long for that world that celebrates our birth. www.anunnakiray.com
Sincerely, Mx. Anunnaki Ray
Intersex Activist, Questions and Answers

What I believe:

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I believe that the Self-Determination of Gender is a human right for all humans.  Gender to me, is like our personality.  It has nothing to do with our genitals, reproductive systems, chromosomes or hormones.  Therefore a woman can have a female penis, and a man can have a man’s vagina.  I also believe that if a person has no genitals, they can identify as any gender, or even have the right to have no gender.

I believe that all humans are born in the right body.  I do not like “born in the wrong body” theories.  It should be up to that individual to declare they feel dysphoric about their body, without society telling them they were born wrong. Gender experts giving out the diagnosis of “Gender Dysphoria” to everyone whose genitals do not fit the expectations of typical male or typical female can be very destructive.  I actually feel it is “cultural dysphoria”, and not “gender dysphoria”.

I believe that genitals, reproductive organs, chromosomes, and hormones do not create gender.  To me, gender is like our personality and a feeling within ourselves.  Again, I believe that some women can have a penis, and some men can have a vagina.  In intersex and transgender people it is fact that some women can have XY chromosomes, and some men can have XX chromosomes.  The presence of a Y chromosomes does not always create a male.

I believe that scientifically the brain can’t accurately be proven to be either male, or female.   Therefore,  also demonstrating that the Self-Determination of gender should be a human right for all humans.  Most science around the “female or male brain” is very bias, and based a social construct of what creates a girl or boy, man or woman.

I believe that no child or infant should be forced non-consensual genital corrective surgery or surgery without informed consent.   Our gender does not reside in the appearance of our genitals and changing our genitals doesn’t magically fix things.  In many cases the surgeries  have proven to cause great harm.  Especially if it happens to an infant or child, I consider corrective surgeries as genital mutilation and torture.

I believe that any well informed, and consenting adult, should have the right to modify their body, or genitals, as they feel it necessary.   However, it is my hope they are conforming due to their own personal needs , and not due to governmental, or societal expectations, or laws,  to “pass” as typical male or female.  I believe that all people, transgender or not, have the right to genital integrity. 

I believe that labels can be as helpful as they can be destructive.  All of us born LGBTQIA+ sometimes have to depend on these labels to declare and explain our different human rights needs.  I feel that the intersex community is very different from the rest of the LGBT experience,  and  my actions prove that I show respect for those who are LGBT.

I believe that some people (cis gender or transgender people), can later discover in life that they have intersex natural bodily variations,  a  difference is sex development, disorder of sexual development, DSD,  any intersex variation, or hormonal variations.   I have helped many into the intersex community to get support.  However, some stories we have heard are medically impossible.   It can do much harm to those of us who are true, when a person creates a tall tale about themselves being born intersex when they are not.  These untruths can harm intersex babies born to this world, and can even create falsehoods that harm all of us intersex people as a whole.

I believe that there is no such thing as the male and female binary system in nature.  However, I totally respect those who want to live as, or conform as, binary male/female. I believe that nature created naturally occurring bodily variations, and sometimes our genitals do not match what society says is male and female, and sometimes our personalities do not match what society says is male or female.

I believe that  gender non-conforming people, like my self, exist and that our human experience is just as valid as those who spend time conforming to male and female rules.  I will always believe that the male and female binary is a social construct.

I believe that the way people dress, cut their hair, desire to appear as, and act as, is truly more like a socialy learned gender performance for all of us.

Imagine What Seven Billion

Fix Society with Angel Feather
Hope for a Better World.

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Cosmetic Genital Surgery, Gender, Human Rights, Human Rights Violations, Intersex Awareness, Prejudice, Self-Determination, Transgender, United Nations

My thoughts about the Third Gender Box, Gender Neutral or Gender X


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I was born with intersex variations, here is my autobiography.   My body does not comply with the rules that would put me into either the biological male box or the biological female box. So at my birth, and during my life, and up until the emancipation of my true gender, I was forced, mostly by social expectations, to conform to the female box when that was not my true gender.

As you know, at our birth they can mark either the Male box, Female box.  For many of us, our true biological sex cannot be marked on most forms.  Some believe we need a third box, gender-neutral, or gender X box,  for those of us born intersex, gender variant, non-conforming gender, non-binary gender, or transgender.

When I started to think about this option of a third gender box, I realize that it is not as simple as adding a third box or gender X option on our birth certificates.   In reality, there are some really good reasons to do this for consenting adults, and some possible really bad consequences to doing this with infants and children.   Below I write about the Pros and Cons, the way I see it, and a rather radical solution is given at the end of this blog.

Before I go into the option of a third gender box though, and how I feel about this, I need to first educate you about what intersex means, since few understand about us.  The below was taken from the United Nations’s Fact Sheet on Intersex:

What does ‘intersex’ mean?

Intersex people are born with sex characteristics (including genitals, gonads and chromosome patterns) that do not fit typical binary notions of male or female bodies.

Intersex is an umbrella term used to describe a wide range of natural bodily variations. In some cases, intersex traits are visible at birth while in others, they are not apparent until puberty. Some chromosomal intersex variations may not be physically apparent at all.

According to experts, between 0.05% and 1.7% of the population is born with intersex traits – the upper estimate is similar to the number of red-haired people.

Being intersex relates to biological sex characteristics, and is distinct from a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity. An intersex person may be straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual or asexual, and may identify as female, male, both or neither.

Because their bodies are seen as different, intersex children and adults are often stigmatized and subjected to multiple human rights violations, including violations of their rights to health and physical integrity, to be free from torture and ill-treatment, and to equality and non- discrimination.

To read more from the United Nations please go HERE



Now that you understand what it means to be born intersex I will share my thoughts.

Seven Possible Negative Consequences  if our Government offers  third gender, gender X,  gender neutral, option:

  1. Some intersex people are happy with their birth assignment being either male or female, and would not want it any other way.  Simply due to one thing, prejudice.  If they had been thrown into a third box at birth, they would then be obvious intersex sexual minorities.
  2. If intersex infants were marked the third gender box at birth or the gender X box, we would not be able to live stealth later in life (not known to the public).  Anywhere where we have to prove our gender or show our birth certificate, everyone would instantly know we are an intersex sexual minority. The consequences in a society that has much prejudice around this could be dreadful, especially in a world that offers few laws to protect LGBTQIA+ people.
  3. If assigned at birth the third box or gender X, once again the self-determination of gender taken away. It is no different than experts deciding for us, male or female.
  4. If an intersex infant is put into the third box at birth, it could be more of a stigma for the parents of the intersex child, that could lead to the very surgeries many of us intersex advocates and activists are trying to stop.  Surgeries that could be justified in order to get their child out of this third box.  Once again, taking away the self-determination of gender for the child.  Note:  I have spoken to other intersex advocates and activist, in countries that provide a third box or gender X box. They have all voiced concern around cosmetic genital surgeries showing an increase.  Note: Surgeries that can take away sensation, fertility, and sexual pleasure later in life. Not to mention, that the wrong gender may be assigned.
  5. Right now, if they detect some forms of intersex in-utero, through testing, a genetic specialist can suggest aborting that intersex fetus.  Even though the United Nations states that we born with human bodily variations, most doctors still call us a “disorder”, “syndrome” and “condition”.   If parents had to worry about their child being an obvious minority with a third gender box or Gender X box, this might increase the eugenics and genocide of intersex humans through abortion.
  6. It also seems that a third gender box continues this patriarchal and misogynist views of the world. Where even typical females are seen as the “weaker sex”.  A third box, or “gender X”  person would definitely be faced with similar prejudice, if not worse!  A third box could simply continue cultural dysphoria around intersex bodies unless our society was able to accept human bodily variations better.
  7. Last, the suicide rate is already high for all sexual minorities, it could go higher if we were marginalized and prejudiced against even more with a third box, or gender X box.  Especially if we do not want this option.

My thoughts about how this could effectTransgender People:

  1. If transgender people were forced to mark the third gender box or gender X box, this would take away their right to self-determination of gender.  Some transgender are simply either male or female. Just because they were assigned wrong at birth should not take away their validity as a person who might identify binary male or female.
  2. However, some transgender people identify as gender non-conforming, non-binary, gender queer,  both male or female, or neither.  So as adults, having this option of third gender, gender neutral, or gender X, could be very validating and confirming of their existence and greatly welcomed.

Two Possible Solutions that could work for everyone:

  1.  I feel it is a Human and Civil Rights solution to Give all people, of adult consenting age, the choice to pick a third box, or gender X option.  After all, at eighteen a person can legally change their gender to the opposite of their birth assignment if they are transgender.  This also is allowed to happen when us intersex people are assigned the wrong gender at birth.  It only stands to reason a person should be granted a third gender option or gender X if they feel they are both male or female, or neither.
  2. Here is a radical solution: Get rid of all gender assignment at birth and offer the self-determination of gender for every human being on the planet.  Along with a few out here, I believe that at our birth no one should be assigned gender.  Yes, this is a radical solution to some.   However, when one believes that the self-determination of gender is a human right, it stands to reason that this should become an obvious solution.

In closing, I  realize that the second solution is rather a radical one.  However, I believe that the self-determination of gender is a human right.  No matter what genitals we are born with I believe this to be true.  I believe that our genital integrity is a human right too,  and those cosmetic surgeries should stop in infants and children.  I also believe that transgender children should never be told that they are in the wrong body nor made to believe that they need genital surgery to conform.  

I will never feel that our reproductive system, genitals, hormones, and chromosomes determine our gender, and simply never will.  

So, I end this blog with a question to you:  Is time to Get rid of all the gender boxes? 



About my collaboration with Judi Herring, M.D., who believes it is time to “(un)know gender”:

I’m a Gender/Intersex Activist, who works collaboratively with Judi Herring, MD. Our collaboration grew organically through a series of interactions, among which, Dr. Herring’s 2014 TEDx Jacksonville talk, Gender Bound: Lessons from the world between, was key.  I have included the link to that, fourteen minute, TEDx below for your viewing.

In the talk, Dr. Herring delivered a message, which resonates with me, “It is time to (un)know gender.”:

“There is no question. The time is now.”

Judi Herring, M.D.

“It is time to stop cutting the genitals of infants and children just so that we can bind them into M-F boxes.

It is time to stop cutting the freedom of people, by applying labels, nonsense words – homosexual, bisexual, intersex, intersexual, transsexual, transgender – groin-focused words that bind us into in-groups and out-groups, entrenched in a state of perpetual dispute; destructive words that keep us bound, all of humanity bound in the realm of UVT – Us versus Them.

It is time that we unbind ourselves from thousands of years of certainties that place our reproductive parts, our reproductive potential at the center of who we are and how we relate.

It is time to raise our gaze from between the legs, so we can see. So we can see that it is our mind that is at the center of who we are and how we relate.

In my journey from one cell to sentience, through some magic of biology, through the wonders and the miracles of nature, my mind was embodied. I stand before you the embodiment of a mind. You are the embodiment of a mind. We are embodied minds, not bodies that happen to have minds attached to them so we can function and move and reproduce.

It is time to transcend our physical boundaries, to come together across these physical differences that divide us.

It’s time to unknow gender.”



If you would like to read more about this topic see the below links.

California the first to offer Gender Neutral as an option for Birth certificates: California 1st to Allow Gender-Neutral Birth Certificate

A Groundbreaking, Legal Case, in fighting for Third Gender in the USA: 

  1. Here is an article about Dana Zzynn, a person born intersex, who identifies as third gender.  Quote:   “A federal judge in Denver ordered the U.S. Department of State to reconsider its denial of a passport to a Navy veteran from Colorado who identifies as neither male or female, court documents showed on Tuesday.”  Judge Orders US to Reconsider Denying Passport to Intersex Veteran; NOV 23 2016.  And Lambda legal In Court Case: Zzyym v. Kerry

New York City Issues Nation’s First Intersex Birth Certificate:  

  1. ‘The protocol of the day was to lie’: NYC issues first US ‘intersex’ birth certificate
  2. Nation’s First Known Intersex Birth Certificate Issued in NYC

The nations second to have an Intersex Birth Certificate:  Hida Viloria: “I have an intersex birth certificate!”.

 

Articles are written by Cary G. Costello, Ph.D.; Tiger Devore, Ph.D., and Morgan Carpenter:

  1. The Problematic Ideology of Natural Sex By Cary G. Costello, Ph.D.
  2. Cis Gender, Transgender, and Intersex. By Cary G. Costello, Ph.D.
  3. Five Myths that Hurt Intersex People By Cary G. Costello, Ph.D.
  4. Cis Gender, Ipso Gender By Cary G. Costello, Ph.D.
  5. The Inbetween Sex / An interview with intersexual Tiger Devore, Ph.D.
  6. Male or female? Babies born on the sliding sex scale; With Tiger Devore, Ph.D. – BBC News
  7. Miraculous Thinking By Morgan Carpenter

My related Blogs: 

  1. Five ways I show that the Male/Female Binary is a Myth, and a Social Construct. Nature has always Created Sexual Variety and Diversity.
  2. Two diagnoses that bring in the cash $$ for surgeons, psychiatrist, and therapist: Disorders of Sex Development, and Gender Dysphoria
  3. INTERSEX Erasure Hurts! Examples of Misguidance from Doctors.
  4. Why I don’t like saying “non-binary gender” anymore.
  5. A Male/Female Mosaic Brain Proves We Need the Self-Determination of Gender
  6. I was born with an Intersex body, but this does not create my Gender or my Sexual Orientation.
  7. Seven Names for the SAME thing: Penis, Phallus, Clitoris, Phalloclitoris, Micropenis, Microphalus, and Clitoromegaly.

 

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Thank you for visiting my blog.  

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Cultural Dysphoria, Intersex Awareness, Intersex Traits, Questions and Answers, Self-Determination

Yup, I Used to have Chromosome Dysphoria!

Gender is not Chromosomes

Chromosome Dysphoria is very real.  I used to have it.  Chromosome dysphoria, is when we are taught that only females can have XX chromosomes and males have XY chromosomes, and we believe this myth!

To those who do not know,  according to most science dogma,  46XY  would be the chromosomes for a typical male, and 46 XX would be the chromosomes for a typical female.   (Note: Notice how I say “typical” and not “normal”.  This is out of respect for myself and others born intersex and transgender.  However, most would use the word “normal”.)   This false belief has tried to erase intersex and transgender people from the face of the earth.  I am here to teach the truth!

I was declared “female” at birth.  To dare think I was simply XX chromosomes, caused me much dysphoria.  I wanted this “Y” chromosome so bad I lied a few times!   I actually would share, with a few, that I had a “Y” chromosome.   You see, when I was a little boy I went to therapy to be taught I was a girl.  It traumatized me!  Therapy taught me I did not exist as a boy.   It destroyed most of my life.  Worse, since I was not a typical girl, I felt I could not exist as female either!  Imagine that, feeling invisible most your life.  I wrote this poem about it:  Poem: Dear Dad, Invisible is no way to live.

It ended up, after being checked, that  I am simply 46 XX.   This means that I should now be called a 46 XX Intersex person.   Most my life, due to having a higher testosterone level for a “female”, I slipped into a place of being misdiagnosed as a condition, syndrome, and disorder, most my life.

I finally dropped the diagnosis that labeled me a defect and a syndrome, and started to call myself  intersex October of 2014.  I wrote this about it:  I am an Intersex Person, I never felt like a Cisgender person, and I relate to some transgender men. and  Doctors call us a disorder, defect or syndrome when we are born. We are simply intersex.

As I listened and read about  the others born intersex, I realized I had been lied to.  So I wrote  several other intersex activists, such as: Tiger Devore, Ph.D, Cary G. Costello, Ph.D., Pidgeon Pagonis, Hida Viloria, and Toni Briffa.   I even wrote, Buck Angel, an amazing transexual man, and trans activist (Note: he refers to himself as transexual, even though most now use the term transgender).

Their response  woke me up.  I could EXIST as a person! 

Later, with the help of  Judi Herring, M.D., whom I have done a few public talks with;  I realized I was not a disorder, or a syndrome!  That I was born intersex; and yes, with self-determination, I was of the male gender, even if I was gender-nonconforming,  and have two XX chromosomes.  I no longer have chromosome dysphoria, gender dysphoria, or any form of dysphoria.  I simply live in a world that is misinformed and has “cultural dysphoria”. 

I now know that XX men exist, and XY women exist; and there are many of us!   

This fourteen minute  TEDx: “Gender Bound”, by Judi Herring, M.D. sums gender up well:

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My autobiography:  About Mx. Anunnaki Ray

Here is one by Cary Costello, Ph.D; Intersex Roadshow, that might interest you:

The Problematic Ideology of Natural Sex

~.V.~

 

Gender Nonconforming, Intersex Awareness, Questions and Answers, Relationships, Self-Determination

Am I Angry I was raised a Girl?

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Am I angry I was raised a girl? The true emotions are devastated, overwhelmed, and crushed. This world was not better prepared for my arrival, nor more than it is prepared for a baby born like me now. So I share my life story to change this.

I wish my parents had been instructed to give ma an androgynous name, and just leave me to be, but that did not happen. The pain is reflected in my writing at times. People assume anger. I have been told that my writing is very intense and it’s very strong. That’s why it seems like anger, I guess.
Yes, devastated, overwhelmed and crushed are three very intense emotions.

I just know one thing. I was raised the wrong gender, and not allowed to express my true gender. I never wanted surgery and still do not. My choice would have been to leave me be. I do not agree with the assignment of gender, in infants, by the appearance of genitals, and I never will. I was born with intersex traits, both in my physical body and hormonally. You can read about me here.

If I knew what it is like to be a typical woman or a typical man, I might have anger. I have no idea what that would have been like. I can’t even pretend to know today.

Only people like myself can be truly empathetic to being raised the wrong gender. They understand the emotions, devastated, overwhelmed, and crushed. This world still has problems allowing me to simply be. I am Gender Non-conforming. I am “inter gender”. I have the gender expression of a male, and on the most part the voice of a guy. But, will never know what it is like to be a typical man. Even when I appeared as female, I had no idea what that truly would feel like. At times, I enjoyed being a beautiful woman though. I am not transgender, I do not have gender dysphoria. I now equally enjoy appearing male and my body can finally be at peace doing so.

Typical people can attempt on their empathy, but because they were not born with my sort of body, they simply will never know.

Sad to say, because of this inability to know, often times friends, family and allies say things that can upset me. So I try to explain what it is like to be a person born like me.

But no, I am not angry. I am devastated, overwhelmed and crushed.

Why couldn’t they have just left me be? One simple answer. The male/female binary and a social construct that does not allow this taboo. I was born taboo, and later in life my hormones became more unacceptable as female. With transgender people emerging all around, and more intersex people gaining their right to self-determination, this world is changing finally.

If You Have Been Brutaly Broken... Nikita Gill

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About Mx. Anunnaki Ray

Two diagnosis that bring in the cash $$ for surgeons, psychiatrist, and therapist: Disorders of Sex Development, and Gender Dysphoria

Poem: I was never in the wrong body. (With 5 Intersex flags from around the world.)

~.V.~