Celebrations · Emancipation · Freedom · Human Rights · Human Rights Violations · Intersex Activist · Relationships · Self-Determination

A Note to self: Dear Little Boy, who I used to be

Dear Little Boy, who I used to be,
Please do not believe the lies you were told.  They convinced you that you were born wrong, that you would amount to nothing.   They even convinced you that you would never be lovable as your authentic self.
They told you over and over, from the time you were three and four, that you could never be who you were born as.  They erased your very being, and turned you into something that could never be.  So stop wondering why you failed at being her!  So stop blaming yourself, and doubting yourself.   It is obvious they were the ones with the problem.
Today, you are surrounded by people who believe in you.  They get angry now when they see you reflect the decades of lies, and when you say you are less than and you doubt yourself!  They won’t put up with that shit anymore.  They know you almost did not make it!  They care my friend!
So, give yourself a damn break!  Decades, and decades of abuse is now over!  Their shit, was just that, a pile of stinking lies, that came from complete and utter nonsense.
I know you will not get restitution.  No one broke the law!  Yet, they almost got away with  destroying your complete and total life!
But you my sweet one, will create your own restitution!  You will help change this world, with others who were violated.  You will help change this world, to stop the pain, the suffering and torture around assigning gender.
You can now show this world that you are bold, brave, and courageous!  You can now tell your story about how after being spiritually, psychiatrically and physically demolished that you can survive hell, and still emerge from the dust and the ashes as a phoenix!
You can now show this world that they can be bold, brave, and courageous too! 
The one’s who broke you, were the one’s who were wrong and did wrong!  They are the one’s who have to change now!
Your only job now is to continue your journey, to shut the door on that past, yet never forget where you come from!
Your job now is to keep this tragedy from happening to another innocent little intersex or transgender child, and to promise to be their God Father and Guardian! 
With much self love,  flowing out to you, and over you, little boy.   Feel that self love that you never felt before in your life, until now!
Fly butterfly!  FLY!   Your wings have finally dried!  You are reborn from a mere caterpillar!
I know you can do it, because you are doing it!
Much love and confidence in you new friend!
Sincerely,
Mx. Anunnaki Ray

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Bridge Building · Celebrations · Human Rights · Intersex Awareness

Making History! PFLAG of Jacksonville, Florida, includes INTERSEX.

Garry Bevel President, PFLAG of Jacksonville, and Frieda Saraga, Board of Directors, and Founding Board Member of PFLAG of Jacksonville, have been absolutely amazing to work with.   Both have accepted me, with open arms, and have listen with care, when I felt intersex should not be left out by the acronyms LGBT or LGBTQ.   They have not only listened with care, they have acted on it.

On January 19th, PFLAG of Jacksonville, made it possible for me to educate our city by giving  a presentation about the importance of intersex inclusion, and how to do that responsibly.

After that talk, they clearly could now see the need  in this city for the parents of intersex children, as well as us intersex adults, needing more support here.  So, today I have agreed to serve as PFLAG of Jacksonville’s  Director of Intersex and Gender Education!  

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Left to right:  Mx. Anunnaki Ray, Garry Bevel, President PFLAG of Jacksonville,  and Frieda Saraga, Board of Directors, and Founding Board Member.  The Yellow and Purple flag is the Intersex  Flag, that was created in Australia, that I have chosen to promote here in the USA too.  Please “like” on Facebook:  PFLAG of Jacksonville

 


You can read more about my position here: 

Mx. Anunnaki Ray, Director of Intersex and Gender Education for PFLAG of Jacksonville

Position Description and Purpose:   About those who are born intersex and the common language used in speaking about intersex lives. Raise awareness about intersex human rights and how those rights are often violated. Offer outreach and support for the parents of intersex babies, or children, in Jacksonville, and guide them to the appropriate organizations that will reinforce Self-Determination of gender of their intersex child.  This is to avoid misinformed, unnecessary, and non-consensual medical intervention, saving physical and emotional lives.

My Goal and Objectives:  Educate PFLAG about the importance of intersex inclusion, and how to include intersex responsibly; while including the understanding of the prevalence of intersex, and erasure of intersex experiences. Distinguish intersex (natural bodily variations, from typical male and female dyadic biological sex), sexual orientation, gender, gender identity and gender expression.  Provide workshops and trainings to PFLAG of Jacksonville and their local agencies.

Strategies and Evidence-Based Support:

  1. United Nations Intersex Fact Sheet: https://www.unfe.org/system/unfe-65-Intersex_Factsheet_ENGLISH.pdf)  
  2. Oii USA, and Executive Director Hida Viloria:  (http://oii-usa.org)
  3. InterACT, Advocates for Intersex Youth (http://interactadvocates.org)
  4. Additional support from, Judi Herring, M.D.

Tasks initiatives:

Promote the use of common, affirming language, in regards to descriptions of gender and  sexual minorities.  This would include:  Biological sex (Dyadic Sex and Intersex), Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity, and Gender Expression.  Encourage shifts in medical and business cultural humility and intersex inclusion.


Memories of my PFLAG Presentation on January 19th, 2017:

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For this PFLAG presentation I also played two videos:  Judi Herring, M.D.’s, TEDx TALK:  Gender Bound, Lessons From the World Between, and Dr. Tiger Devore’s Interface Project Message “No Body is Shameful”.  Everyone also received an Intersex Fact Sheet, from the United Nations.  

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Here is my autobiography: About Mx. Anunnaki Ray

Blogs that guide in adding the “I” responsibly to LGBT: 

  1. Adding the “I” responsibly to LGBT
  2. The difference between transgender and intersex and the harm that wrong language can bring
  3. INTERSEX Erasure Hurts! Examples of Misguidance from Doctors.
  4. Doctors call us a disorder, defect, or syndrome, when we are born. We are simply INTERSEX.

Please “like” on Facebook:  PFLAG of Jacksonville

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Bridge Building · Celebrations · Emancipation · Freedom · Gender Nonconforming · Human Rights Violations · Intersex Activist · Intersex Awareness · Questions and Answers · Relationships

The two of us, born intersex and named ‘Antoinette’ at our birth.

God-incidence or Serendipity? 

What ever you call it, it felt like a miracle.  

I was finally coming to terms with who I was as a human being.  This was after having a life time of not feeling real, and being thrown away by many doctors, therapist and psychiatrists, who had tried to ‘fix me’.  

I was an Intersex human being.  Not male, not female, something in between.

The fact is, back in the late 60’s, when I was born I was assigned a girl.  My mother had once shared she wanted a little boy named Anthony, but instead she would have to turn that name into:

Antoinette

My nickname as a teen ‘girl’ would later become

Toni and Ant

Little did anyone know, somewhere around the world in Australia, another miracle was born intersex.  They too were named a girls name, and assigned female and that name was: 

Antoinette 

And their nickname would later become

Tony

And here we were, meeting on Facebook for the first time, March 2015, and have become dear friends ever since!  Wow! 

Here is that story: It was October 2014, when I finally decided I would never do the things to conform as a typical women ever again.  I had gotten very sick and disabled.  Doctors did not know how to help me, and most had given up on me and  I had gotten used to be patient abandoned for not wanting to endure their medical regimen. I quickly became sexually taboo.

I did not want to lose my beauty.  I always felt like an androgynous person.  I emerge from  a wheelchair, and a cane.  Disability had become my reality.  I was sleeping in my house, up to sixteen hours a day in a hospital bed, because I could not even lay down flat anymore.  I felt I might die.  I received my disability by my country even.  I wished for death, that is for sure, and everyone who knew me back then knew how sick I had become.

I then figured out I could get better eating a special diet and by changing my hormones and by honoring my own truth. Soon after that I started to search other people born intersex like me.  There they were, the two articles about Tony Briffa, from Australia.

At first glance, I did not see the coincidence at first.  

I read, and there it was, their birth name:

Antoinette 

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When Tony Briffa was seven years old doctors in Australia made a choice that was never theirs to make – castration.
Tony was born with healthy testes, as well as a vagina, and doctors decided it made more sense for Tony to live life as a woman – called Antoinette.
But Tony – who was born intersex – never felt comfortable being a woman, or a man for that matter.
“Nature – many would say God – made me a healthy hermaphrodite… I tried my best to be a woman but I couldn’t keep up the lie forever. Something was going to give.
“At 30 I rejected what the doctors had done to me and started living life as a man. I was open about my past, about the way I was born, and what doctors had done to me. Now, at the age of 44, I am comfortable explaining I am both a man and a woman,” Tony tells Times of Malta.

Taken from: ‘Healthy Hermaphrodite’ is both man and woman

And another one about Tony Briffa

At birth, Tony Briffa’s doctors couldn’t determine his gender. He had a rare intersex condition known as Incomplete Testicular Feminisation that made his gonads release estrogen even though he genetically tested as male. So on his doctor’s advice his parents raised him as a girl named Antoinette—they painted his room pink, gave him dolls at Christmas and made him wear frilly dresses to school.

The frequent hospital visits for hormone therapy and surgery made him feel like a freak: his parents had him castrated at age seven and even though he told his doctors as a pre-teen that he felt like a boy, they ignored him and continued administering female hormone therapy, something that filled him with desperation and thoughts of suicide as he entered his teenage years.

Taken from: The Amazing Heartbreaking Story of Tony Briffa, The World’s First Openly Intersex Mayor

That day I wrote Tony.  I was confused back then after being guided by misinformed doctors and psychiatrist.  My first notes to them no doubt reflected such confusion.  To my doctors here, I remain a disorder, a syndrome and a medical condition.  They were  even trying to convince me I was transgender.   The medical system in the USA can be very confused about intersex and gender.

I knew one thing, without permission from those who had been surgically violated, I was not going to use the word “intersex”or “hermaphrodite”.   My heart was secretly broken by what has happened to their bodies surgically, without consent as a child.   I did not want to offend anyone.  I had been violated, but it had been mostly by psychiatry.  My physical body remains whole, what would they say?

So, with much bravery I also reached out to six amazing people born intersex: Tony Briffa, along with Tiger Devore, Ph.D.,  Cary Costello, Hida Viloria, Gavan H. Coleman, and Pidgeon Pagonis.  Six of the most tolerant and loving people I have ever met on this Earth.  Around that same time my path would also cross with Judi Herring, M.D., who had created the TEDx months before meeting me: Gender Bound, Lessons from the World Between.   This too, will always feel like a god-incidence and serendipity!  Judi and I have been working together ever since September 2015.  Together we have done public talks, speaking to schools, visiting the city council, and have even spoken to the human rights commissioner here in our city.  We have become very dear and close friends.

Wow, with the opinion of all of them,  I  learned that I was not born a “freak”,  a “disorder”, “syndrome”,  or “condition”, and I surely  was not “mentally derange”!  With that permission, and blessing form all of them, and with Judi Herring, M.D. standing by my side,  I became empowered!  I decided to tell the world I too was born intersex, and share my intersex story .  It has been a huge honor to add  my message to theirs in ending tragedy from happening to one more innocent child.

One thing that is most amazing, is that all of us have two big things in common.   First, we all find it very special that we were all born BOTH  male and female, and most of all we like to celebrate it.   All of us are also  gender nonconforming too,  but in different ways!   To me that is serendipity at it’s best!  

The second thing we have in common, is we all have over came so much trauma, due not conforming to the male and female binary.  With that experience and pain, each of us have taken all that ugliness, and all our  bad experiences,  and now help the world with it. 

So there you have it!  

Two people born with natural bodily variations, known as INTERSEX, with the same birth name

Antoinette!  

Planet Earth is an amazing small place when you start to think about it!   

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Mx. Anunnaki Ray November 2016

Thank you for visiting my intersex story!  

You can read here:  Why did I named myself Anunnaki Ray.

Please also visit the UNITED NATIONS’ INTERSEX FACT SHEET, to learn more about intersex violations and what you personally can do yo help us end it. 

UNITED WE WILL CHANGE THIS WORLD!


End Note:  An intersex person can have any gender identity, and any sexual orientation.   Also, our biological sex does not equal our gender.  I believe that the Self-determination of Gender is our Human Right, and that our sexuality should not be decided for us as children,  our parents, by medical, psychological experts, or the government.   


You can watch Tony Briffa here with their life story here: 

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Celebrations · Poems

Poem: Today I Celebrate my 2nd Birthday!

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Today I Celebrate my 2nd Birthday!

 

I sometimes
do not know how I survived.
But here I am, and I am alive.
I have to thank you, my dear friends
You told me I would make it and her I am
Today Celebrating this very special Birthday!
Here I stand

I AM TWO TODAY!

To have almost been crushed by this cruel world.
To not even speak your language,
and yet now I am heard.
TODAY, I am seen,

I am visible.

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I simply thank you,

and much love to you!

 

From: Mx. Anunnaki Ray
December, 19th 2016

 

I was born perfect, and I am lovable. Thank you, United Nations.

 

 

A blast from the past:

 My First Year Celebration! With Pictures of My First Year Transformation

The Emancipation of my Spirit and my true Gender.

My Photographic Stories

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Bridge Building · Celebrations · Intersex Awareness

The Global Free Hugs With Intersex Movement comes to the USA!

My friend, Hiker Chiu started the “Global Free Hugs with Intersex movement” 全球擁抱陰陽人運動; in Taiwan.   I am honored, and with their blessing,  I will be bringing their “Free Hugs with Intersex movement” to the United States!  

On October 1st and 2nd, 2016, with my intersex friend, Shane Evert, we plan to give hugs during the PRIDE PARADE, and Pride Festival here in Jacksonville, Florida.

Here are the t-shirts we will be wearing that I designed with the help of Custom Ink.  We will also both be carrying the yellow and purple intersex flag.  

Shane and I do this to help end intersex erasure in the United State, and in  our city of Jacksonville, Florida.  We promise to share pictures of these events, and all our hugs, soon!  I will be sharing pictures, of the two of us giving hugs and marching in the parade, on my blog, and as well as on my public Facebook page: Mx. Anunnaki Ray Gender/Intersex Activist Public Page.

If you would like to follow Hiker Chiu’s movement, here is the Public Group on Facebook:  Global Free Hugs with Intersex Movement.  

Here is Hiker Chiu’s Story 

Along with pictures of their “Free Hugs With Intersex” Campaign below:

“Hiker Chiu is a Ph.D student in human sexuality at Shute University. At a gay rights parade in Taipei last year, Chiu held a placard that read “free hugs with intersex.” On Chiu’s ID card, the word “female” was written in the column for gender. However, Chiu also has male sexual characteristics such as adam’s apple. In an interview with RTI, Chiu gave a detailed account of a long and harrowing experience that was often filled with helplessness, solitude, confusion, sadness and sometimes even shame. Chiu’s parents were very supportive, but they knew very little about intersex. Doctors are not helpful at all because they are reluctant to discuss the issue with their patient. The social stigma attached to intersex people is so strong in Taiwan that Chiu had virtually no one to talk to when growing up. In September of last year, Chiu visited Organization Intersex International (OII), the trip later helped pave the way for the establishment of a Chinese-language website for intersex people.”

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October 1st, 2016, pictures of Jacksonville, Florida’s Pride Parade with Shane and I giving hugs, with our “Get Hugs From Intersex” t-shirts on, and the Intersex Flags: 

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You can read more about this flag here: The Story Behind this Yellow and Purple Intersex Flag

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Celebrations · Culture Dysphoria · Hope · Human Rights · Relationships · Self-Determination · Short Messages

HAPPY Father’s Day to all the different types of DADS in this AMAZING WORLD.

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HAPPY FATHER's Day To all the different types of dads in the world1

This is a day where every type of DAD needs to be celebrated, and not one  DAD left out.

Culture can shift, to recognized all the different types of dads in this world.

It is time to make that shift now.  It is time to end Cultural Dysphoria, Stop Prejudice,  and Respect Everyone in this World.

This world is so diverse, and 

WE ARE HUMAN. 

HAPPY FATHER’s DAD to ALL the DIFFERENT TYPES Of DADS in this AMAZING WORLD! 

 

Helpful LGBTQIA+ Definitions and Human Sexuality
I am a Seahorse Dad
Celebrate Intersex

 

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Imagine What Seven Billion

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Celebrations · Hope · Human Rights · Intersex Awareness · Relationships · Religion and Bridge Building

Christian Theologian Megan K. DeFranza, A True Ally and Bridge Builder

I have had the pleasure to speak to Megan DeFranza personally, and it was such a relief to hear a Christian person speak to me without my morals, my very being, being judged, or assumed to be an abomination. Megan is a bridge builder. She is helping the Christian community to learn about us, to not be afraid of us, and that it is ok to even love us.

Megan has clearly taken the time to learn about people who are intersex, and has learned much from Leanne Simon (In include the link to them here), and intersex activist and writer. Megan has also taken the time to talk to Judi Herring, M.D. The creator of the TEDx: Gender Bound Messages from the World Between. Not to mention, obviously listening with care to many more of us, out here, who were born intersex. It was a pleasure to connect with Megan personally.

Megan is clearly a bridge builder between the Christian Community, in understanding those of us born Intersex, with intersex traits, or differences of sexual development. She has written this book: “Sex Difference in Christian Theology”, and is clearly making a difference, in teaching this world the truth around genital mutilation, and the horrors of what has happened to so many of us intersex people, and how religion is sadly a part of that. It is Megan’s hope that this world change to stop all the tragedies. Again, I personally thank her for her contribution in changing culture and making this a better world for intersex babies born to it.  Here is her book:

Sex Difference in Christian Theology: Male, Female, and Intersex in the Image of God

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Quote: “How different are men and women? When does it matter to us — or to God? Are male and female the only two options? In Sex Difference in Christian Theology Megan DeFranza explores such questions in light of the Bible, theology, and science.

Many Christians, entrenched in culture wars over sexual ethics, are either ignorant of the existence of intersex persons or avoid the inherent challenge they bring to the assumption that everybody is born after the pattern of either Adam or Eve. DeFranza argues, from a conservative theological standpoint, that all people are made in the image of God — male, female, and intersex — and that we must listen to and learn from the voices of the intersexed among us.”

Here is an article written by Benjamin L. Corey about Megan DeFranza: If God Only Made Male and Female, What about Interex?

Quote: “I think I’ve heard the phrase “in the beginning God made them male and female” a hundred times in response to the sex/gender discussions of our time. The phrase works like a trump card to win a theological discussion on anything from LGBTQ issues to how Target should organize their toys. However, each time I hear someone say “God made male and female” as if that’s all he made, the question that comes to my mind each time is: “What about those whose bodies are intersex?””:

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