Gender, Human Rights, Intersex Awareness, Self-Determination, Transgender

A Penis and a Vagina does not Create our Gender Identity

I like to teach that gender is our personality and that a penis and a vagina does not create our gender identity. We are not assigned our personality, we just become it. Just like becoming left or right handed, or being able to be ambidextrous and use both hands.  We now trust a child to choose if they are left handed, right handed or ambidextrous when they are very young.

This analogy of handedness can be used when an intersex child is born both and even holds true for any child.  It holds true even if they are born with an endosex (not intersex) body.  All children figure out their gender and they do it relatively young and before they even start grade school.

My Thoughts Regarding Intersex Children:

Here is the United Nations’  intersex FACT SHEET.  I believe that genitals, reproductives systems, hormones, and chromosomes will never create our gender identity.

If we just relax and wait, I promise the baby will let the world know.  All of us who were assigned wrong at birth have all proven that no expert, no chromosomal test, no MRI, CatScan or blood test can determine the gender of any of us 100% of the time.   Yes, sometimes surgeries are medically necessary, but most the time they are only cosmetic and have horrible consequences.  This means a lot of errors have been made and permanently so with non-reversible surgeries.   I know too many un-happy intersex people to prove the experiment of assigning our gender surgically has failed miserably and has to stop.  The obvious solution is to wait and let the baby decide their gender.

My Thoughts Regarding Transgender Children: 

If we gave self-determination of gender to all humans, the diagnosis of gender dysphoria and the label ‘transgender’ would vanish too.   It is our culture that has decided what genitals belong to what gender.  Anything outside of that expectation is now called gender dysphoria.  When I feel it is truly a case of cultural dysphoria around genitals and gender.  However, the label transgender is very important to our culture right now, so we have to take on the discrimination that us transgender people face very seriously.

Yet, in the perfect world, if we gave self-determination to everyone, no one would have to transition or be diagnosed to do so.  Birth Certificates would now only take note that a human was born.  My friend, Mo Cortez, Intersex Advocate from Houston, once shared that maybe our blood type could be put on our birth certificate in place of male or female.  Is our gender marker truly necessary on our birth certificate?  Many feel it is not for many reasons.

One last note: Self-Determination is a human right, and only with consensual adults should genital cosmetic corrective surgeries be performed.  No government should dictate that an adult trans person has to have gender confirmation surgeries to validate their identity.  Surgery should remain a personal choice and not a requirement for a transition from one gender to the other.  Sex reassignment surgeries are also a solution for severe forms of gender dysphoria and should always be available to those who require it.  The World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) states: 

“The medical procedures attendant to sex reassignment are not ‘cosmetic’ or ‘elective’ or for the mere convenience of the patient. These reconstructive procedures are not optional in any meaningful sense, but are understood to be medically necessary for the treatment of the diagnosed condition.”

Back to Intersex Natural Variations: 

Right now intersex variations are diagnosed as medical conditions.  When they are truly just naturally occurring natural bodily variations.  Can you imagine if we gave a diagnosis to male or female?  It is no different.  Intersex is the biological sex of an intersex person.  Just like anyone an intersex baby can grow up to have any gender identity, gender expression or sexual orientation.   Surgeries are not going to keep these things from happening.  Yes, there are going to be gay, lesbian, and transgender appearing intersex kids and people, and the world has to get over itself.

A Gender Self-Determining World: 

If all children were no longer taught that their genitals made them a boy or a girl, and genital integrity was taught early on, wouldn’t this be a better world for intersex, transgender, and non-conforming people?  I believe that ‘no body is shameful’ and that a person can be the personality of any gender:  male, female, both or neither.

I also believe that it is not just intersex kids that need to learn that nobody is shameful.  It is all of us humans, especially transgender children.  Whom I feel are also being coerced to think they need genital surgeries when they grow up.

If everyone was given the self-determination of their gender, we might be very surprised to see a world emerge “gender nonconforming”: 

There are three ways to be a gender non-conformist:

1) Our physical bodies appearing both or neither.  We can be born biologically endosex (not intersex) or intersex.

2) Our Gender identity (our personality as male, female both or neither).

3) Our Gender Expression (how we dress, our hair, or appear to this world).

We can have one, two, or a mixture of these.  As you can see there will be many words and labels that describe all these states of being too.  I hope for a world that can evolve to stop thinking genitals create our gender and we can all just simply be with genital integrity.

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 Fix Society, Please.  

 Helpful Definitions of Human Sexuality

 

Fix Society with Angel Feather
Hope for a Better World.

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 feather

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Bridge Building, Human Rights, Intersex Awareness, Intersex People, Relationships

Why I feel INTERSEX should be added to the LGBTQ rainbow

I feel it is now time to create more allies, create more supportive organizations, and give a way for organizations that want to become intersex inclusive direction on how they can help us end these atrocities that intersex people face.  These human rights violations are in regards to aborting healthy intersex fetuses, and ending non-consenting cosmetic corrective surgeries that are not medically necessary that are being done to intersex infants and children.  Surgeries that often fail miserably, create genitals with poor sexual sensitivity.  Surgeries that often assign us the wrong gender, are not reversible, take away our fertility, and sadly lead to repeat surgeries.  All of this leading to psychological and physical trauma throughout our lives.

Many organizations such as PFLAG are now showing they are welcoming to intersex, and many PFLAG chapters are wanting to become more inclusive to intersex.  However, adding the “I” needs to be done with great care and I personally can be contacted to make sure that this is done responsibly.

Here is my e-mail: anunnakiray@outlook.com and a page dedicated just to PFLAG chapters who are ready to become intersex inclusive: Intersex Inclusive PFLAG Chapters.

Below I will talk about the reason to add the “I” to the acronyms LGBTQ+.  Below I show why I am for this inclusion of intersex:

Reasons to add the “I”:

  1. Hida Viloria, the Executive Director of Oii-USA and Intersex Campaign for Equality shares how intersex people often identify, and how some of us will appear simply either male or female or queer:   How Intersex People Identify.  Co-authored with Dana Zzyyn.
  2. Statistics show that over 50% of us intersex people identify with a sexual orientation that appears gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, pansexual, asexual and more.  Statistics from: Demographics from Oii-Australia
  3. Statistics also show that an intersex person can have any gender identity.   Some intersex people are cis-gender (agree with birth assignment) and conform to either male or female.  Some of us are simply queer, intergender, non-binary or gender nonconforming.  There are also few of us who identify as transgender and intersex both. Statistics from: Demographics from Oii-Australia
  4. Cary Costello Ph.D. talks about how some of us who are intersex sometimes appear as transgender or identify and call ourselves transgender:   Cis Gender, Trans Gender, and Intersex  Cary also shares how homophobia is often behind genetic experts suggesting to terminate and abort healthy intersex fetuses:  On Eugenic Abortion of the Intersex.  An LGBTQ organization is going to have the sensitivity to deal with transphobia and homophobia.
  5. When a person, like myself, realizes that they are intersex instead of a disorder and that their biological sex is intersex, finding a safe space among other sexual minorities is important.  I know it was for my family, especially if we may also appear LGBTQ+.
  6. For me being a part of the LGBTQ+ groups showed me it was ok to be a sexual minority.  It allowed me to feel ok with my appearing gay and transgender.  Thus helping my self-determination and not having shame.  I feel it could give this gift to other intersex people who may also naturally appear LGBTQ+
  7. If an organization takes the time to educate themselves about intersex, it could create more safe spaces for us LGBTQ+ intersex people.  Especially those of us who also identify as transgender, non-binary, nonconforming, or queer.   I see how this happened when the “T” was added to LGB.  Although some trans appear heterosexual, some also now appear lesbian, gay or queer, just like some of us intersex people and this inclusion was very helpful to the transgender community.

Reasons to not add the “I”:

  1. The fear of intersex being mixed up as a gender identity or a sexual orientation problem.
  2. Some intersex people consider themselves a disorder of sex development still, and are happy with their intersex diagnosis and don’t feel their diagnosis has anything to do with being  LGBTQ+ or being a sexual minority.
  3. The way I see it, it could simply be a case of  Homophobia, Transphobia, Queerphobia, Intersex phobia that keeps people from wanting to add the “I”.
  4. Some intersex people are cis-gender (agree with their birth assignment) and also appear heterosexual.  They don’t have any reason to need to be affiliated with LGBTQ+, pride parades or any of it.

My solution to those who don’t want the “I” added:

To alleviate confusion, it is important to educate that intersex is about biological sex and biology, and that the biggest problems we face are the forced assignment of gender, surgically, or hormonally.  Intersex advocates, activists, and educators are trying to end our being aborted when detected in-utero and the non-consenting surgeries on infants and children.   When adding the “I” to your organization it is my hope that you will also make it a part of your effort to make this a safer world for those of us born intersex.  Last, it should be always educated that some intersex people do not appear LGBTQ+, nor need to.

Further, for those intersex people who do not even feel they are intersex, that is their right to not declare it and to embrace their diagnosis or conditions as not intersex.  However, just because they don’t feel they have a variation of intersex, nor want LGBTQI+ support, doesn’t mean that over half of the intersex community won’t benefit from it.  Which again, is a person’s right to self-determination and should always be respected.

With all this said: 

I personally feel that it is time to include the “I”, but only if it is done with great responsibility and education about ending non-consensual genital corrective surgeries on intersex infants and children.  While also guiding people to the correct organizations to support genital integrity.  Here is a list that is always necessary to make sure intersex people get the right supports and are not mixed up with transgender:

Important Organizations to Include on your website if you add Intersex to LGBTQ+:

Below are links that will ensure that parents in the USA, Australia, and other countries, are guided to informed and safe people that will reinforce the self-determination of gender,  and that “No Body is Shameful”, and can support  genital integrity:

Two PDF files you can print and distribute:

1) United Nations INTERSEX Factsheet from United Nations

2) Brief Guidelines for Intersex Allies

Links you should add to your organization’s website: 

1) Intersex Campaign for Equality  AKA Organization Intersex International, USA: Oii-USA.org  

2) Organization Intersex International: Oii-Australia

3) Organization Intersex International Network (World Wide list)

4) Intersex Support for Parents (Closed FB Group)

5) Houston Intersex Society

6) InterACT Advocates for Intersex Youth: interactadvocates.org

7) StopIGM.org (Ending intersex genital mutilation) 

8) Mx. Anunnaki Ray Gender/INTERSEX Activist, Educator, Writer and Speaker



References:  Important articles and data that shows me it is time to include intersex to LGBTQ:  

  1. The Forgotten Vowel: How Intersex Liberation Benefits the Entire LGBTQIA Community By Hida Viloria
  2. How Intersex People Identify By Hida Viloria and Dana Zzyym
  3. Cis Gender, Transgender, and Intersex By Cary Costello Ph.D.
  4. On Eugenic Abortion of the Intersex By Cary G. Costello Ph.D.
  5. THEIR TIME After generations in the shadows, the intersex rights movement has a message for the world: We aren’t disordered and we aren’t ashamed
  6. Demographics of intersex people in Australia borrowed from Oii-Australia:

Quote:  An independent 2015 survey of 272 people born with atypical sex characteristics has provided us with good statistical information for the first time. The survey was led by Dr. Tiffany Jones of the University of New England, and it was published in February 2016. It shows very diverse understandings of intersex bodies, sexes, and genders.

Graphics below borrowed from Demographics from Oii-Australia:

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Assuming that human sexual behavior is similar to Australia globally, as you can now see, the evidence from Oii-Australia shows the need.  Thus helping all infants and children be taught that they are ok being born into the bodies they are born into, regardless of how their sexual orientation, gender identity, or actual biological sex is recognized by this world when they become adults.  Adults who may or may not even need marriage equality, if we grow up to appear gay or lesbian.  Here is a personal blog that shares about how my family needs intersex inclusion: Are my Husband and I Gay Men Now? How We Became Sexual Minorities, Our Intersex Love Story.

Regardless of how us intersex people appear to this world when we grow up, the self-determination of gender and our genital integrity is our human right.

Here are Helpful LGBTQIA+ Definitions that help to explain Human Sexuality. 

If you would like guidance on adding the “I” responsibly to your organizations’ acronyms please contact me: 

 

 

 


Important blogs I have written that support adding the “I” to LGBTQ+: 

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Human Rights, Intersex Awareness, Intersex Erasure, Prejudice, Relationships, Science, United Nations

The male/female binary is a Myth!

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I am a man, with a few boy parts, that most call girl parts. But that is only because they believe in lies. They are all boy parts if they are my parts because I am a boy.  I might be non-conforming, but they belong to me, and my legal gender is male.  As for my biological sex, it is intersex, and not even acknowledged by my country. The government has erased me.  The doctors shoved me into the female box at birth.  My birth certificate to this day can not demonstrate my true biological sex.  I was not born dyadic, I was born intersex.

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I will feel human when I get my human right to exist.  I will take on the name of a human, and not that of an alien when my government allows me to exist without calling me a disorder.  I have a natural bodily variation, according to the United Nations.  I was never a disorder, or transgender even.  I was born a boy, from day one.

Our self-determination of gender is about human rights.  It is time this world stop hurting and torturing people born intersex and transgender.  It is time this world stopped equating genitals, reproductive systems, hormones and chromosomes with our gender.  It is a lie, a myth, and scientific proof, show that I stand before you, and other intersex people stand before you, and all of us prove this myth 100% false.

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No chart is perfect, but I still like this one.  Shared from: www.ItsPronouncedMetrosexual.com
If a person realizes that “intersex” means countless Natural Bodily Variations and they mix this with the other categories, you literally can have countless varieties of human walking around this Earth!
If they #StopIGM and forcing us intersex people into binary boxes. (Intersex genital mutilation). It is obvious that genitals, chromosomes, hormones do not make up our #Gender.
The #UnitedNations says that our #SelfDetermination of gender is about #HumanRights!  #WEareREAL!  #WeArePeople!
#WeAreHUMAN!
It is time we bust the male/female #binary. It is simply a myth folk! Not everyone is born #Dyadic. Dyadic means you were not born #Intersex.

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Being rejected by my family because of what I represent when I speak up for my intersex cousin who was mutilated.

The two of us, born intersex and named ‘Antoinette’ at our birth.

The FEMALE PENIS and the MALE VAGINA; and explaining this to our children.

Seven Names for the SAME thing: Penis, Phallus, Clitoris, Phalloclitoris, Micropenis, Microphallus, and Clitoromegaly.

I was born with an Intersex body, but this does not create my Gender or my Sexual Orientation.

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Bridge Building, Human Rights, Human Rights Violations, Intersex Erasure, Relationships

Adding the “I” responsibly to LGBT

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A letter I shared on: Mx. Anunnaki Ray, Gender/Intersex Activist Facebook Page:

Sending a note, to simply say thank you again, for listening, and sharing this page. It is sometimes hard for people to hear about a culture different than their own, especially when daily the news can be so depressing and unimaginable.
I have actually discovered that since LGB are already marginalized, it is sometimes harder to get through to LGB people than typical people. Transgender are a lot easier, actually. I think because they are even more marginalized that LGB, and they too face drastic choices ahead of them when it comes to genital integrity and owning their true selves.
At times, I would rather give a talk to a room full of Baptists, closed minded people, than LGBT Equality workers. I don’t know if they will ever have it in their hearts, or energy to responsibility add the “I” here in my city. But until then some of us find it a blessing. Because instead of saying LGBT, those of us further outcasted and marginalized can say “LGBT and INTERSEX”. We get to say the entire word. That is pretty amazing actually! Because then questions are asked, and one can educate.
I used to think LGBTQIA+ was showing true inclusivity, and still am very proud to see that happening in some circles because it shows total inclusivity! But then I realized it could be just a careless act of adding letters, and not paying attention to the horrid atrocities we face with erasure, eugenics (abortion), and genocide (forced sterilization with non-consensual surgeries). It woke me up fast! YIKES! Please, please, do not add the “I” carelessly.
So, with all this said, since some of you are intersex allies, and messengers now, never forget to share about these atrocities, when you tell a person to add the “I”, or when you add the “I” Let this world know the horror allowed in the USA, and pretty much everywhere around this world.
This is the United Nations’ Fact Sheet, any intersex ally should study this at least once. Notice how they say “natural bodily variation”, for one, instead of “disorder”, “condition” or “syndrome”. Notice also that they validate the torture happening, with intersex genital mutilation (IGM), and ask this world to STOP. In changing speech we change culture and save bodies and lives.: The United Nations: Intersex Fact Sheet/Free & Equal
Again I thank you all,
Mx. Anunnaki Ray
www.anunnakiray.com
#StopIGM #UnitedNations #NaturalBodilyVariations #WeAreHuman #WeArePeople #HumanRights

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Intersex Activist, Questions and Answers

What I believe:

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I believe that the Self-Determination of Gender is a human right for all humans.  Gender to me, is like our personality.  It has nothing to do with our genitals, reproductive systems, chromosomes or hormones.  Therefore a woman can have a female penis, and a man can have a man’s vagina.  I also believe that if a person has no genitals, they can identify as any gender, or even have the right to have no gender.

I believe that all humans are born in the right body.  I do not like “born in the wrong body” theories.  It should be up to that individual to declare they feel dysphoric about their body, without society telling them they were born wrong. Gender experts giving out the diagnosis of “Gender Dysphoria” to everyone whose genitals do not fit the expectations of typical male or typical female can be very destructive.  I actually feel it is “cultural dysphoria”, and not “gender dysphoria”.

I believe that genitals, reproductive organs, chromosomes, and hormones do not create gender.  To me, gender is like our personality and a feeling within ourselves.  Again, I believe that some women can have a penis, and some men can have a vagina.  In intersex and transgender people it is fact that some women can have XY chromosomes, and some men can have XX chromosomes.  The presence of a Y chromosomes does not always create a male.

I believe that scientifically the brain can’t accurately be proven to be either male, or female.   Therefore,  also demonstrating that the Self-Determination of gender should be a human right for all humans.  Most science around the “female or male brain” is very bias, and based a social construct of what creates a girl or boy, man or woman.

I believe that no child or infant should be forced non-consensual genital corrective surgery or surgery without informed consent.   Our gender does not reside in the appearance of our genitals and changing our genitals doesn’t magically fix things.  In many cases the surgeries  have proven to cause great harm.  Especially if it happens to an infant or child, I consider corrective surgeries as genital mutilation and torture.

I believe that any well informed, and consenting adult, should have the right to modify their body, or genitals, as they feel it necessary.   However, it is my hope they are conforming due to their own personal needs , and not due to governmental, or societal expectations, or laws,  to “pass” as typical male or female.  I believe that all people, transgender or not, have the right to genital integrity. 

I believe that labels can be as helpful as they can be destructive.  All of us born LGBTQIA+ sometimes have to depend on these labels to declare and explain our different human rights needs.  I feel that the intersex community is very different from the rest of the LGBT experience,  and  my actions prove that I show respect for those who are LGBT.

I believe that some people (cis gender or transgender people), can later discover in life that they have intersex natural bodily variations,  a  difference is sex development, disorder of sexual development, DSD,  any intersex variation, or hormonal variations.   I have helped many into the intersex community to get support.  However, some stories we have heard are medically impossible.   It can do much harm to those of us who are true, when a person creates a tall tale about themselves being born intersex when they are not.  These untruths can harm intersex babies born to this world, and can even create falsehoods that harm all of us intersex people as a whole.

I believe that there is no such thing as the male and female binary system in nature.  However, I totally respect those who want to live as, or conform as, binary male/female. I believe that nature created naturally occurring bodily variations, and sometimes our genitals do not match what society says is male and female, and sometimes our personalities do not match what society says is male or female.

I believe that  gender non-conforming people, like my self, exist and that our human experience is just as valid as those who spend time conforming to male and female rules.  I will always believe that the male and female binary is a social construct.

I believe that the way people dress, cut their hair, desire to appear as, and act as, is truly more like a socialy learned gender performance for all of us.

Imagine What Seven Billion

Fix Society with Angel Feather
Hope for a Better World.

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Bridge Building, Celebrations, Emancipation, Freedom, Gender Nonconforming, Human Rights Violations, Intersex Activist, Intersex Awareness, Questions and Answers, Relationships

The two of us, born intersex and named ‘Antoinette’ at our birth.

God-incidence or Serendipity? 

Whatever you call it, it felt like a miracle.  

I was finally coming to terms with who I was as a human being.  This was after having a lifetime of not feeling real, and being thrown away by many doctors, therapist and psychiatrists, who had tried to ‘fix me’.  

I was an Intersex human being.  Not male, not female, something in between.

The fact is, back in the late 60’s, when I was born I was assigned a girl.  My mother had once shared she wanted a little boy named Anthony, but instead, she would have to turn that name into:

Antoinette

My nickname as a teen ‘girl’ would later become

Toni and Ant

Little did anyone know, somewhere around the world in Australia, another miracle was born intersex.  They too were named a girls name and assigned female and that name was: 

Antoinette 

And their nickname would later become

Tony

And here we were, meeting on Facebook for the first time, March 2015, and have become dear friends ever since!  Wow! 

Here is that story: It was October 2014, when I finally decided I would never do the things to conform to a typical woman ever again.  I had gotten very sick and disabled.  Doctors did not know how to help me, and most had given up on me and  I had gotten used to being patient abandoned for not wanting to endure their medical regimen. I quickly became sexually taboo.

I did not want to lose my beauty.  I always felt like an androgynous person.  I emerge from a wheelchair, and a cane.  Disability had become my reality.  I was sleeping in my house, up to sixteen hours a day in a hospital bed, because I could not even lay down flat anymore.  I felt I might die.  I received my disability from my country even.  I wished for death, that is for sure, and everyone who knew me back then knew how sick I had become.

I then figured out I could get better eating a special diet and by changing my hormones and by honoring my own truth. Soon after that, I started to search other people born intersex like me.  There they were, the two articles about Tony Briffa, from Australia.

At first glance, I did not see the coincidence at first.  

I read, and there it was their birth name:

Antoinette 

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When Tony Briffa was seven years old doctors in Australia made a choice that was never theirs to make – castration.
Tony was born with healthy testes, as well as a vagina, and doctors decided it made more sense for Tony to live life as a woman – called Antoinette.
But Tony – who was born intersex – never felt comfortable being a woman, or a man for that matter.
“Nature – many would say God – made me a healthy hermaphrodite… I tried my best to be a woman but I couldn’t keep up the lie forever. Something was going to give.
“At 30 I rejected what the doctors had done to me and started living life as a man. I was open about my past, about the way I was born, and what doctors had done to me. Now, at the age of 44, I am comfortable explaining I am both a man and a woman,” Tony tells Times of Malta.

Taken from: ‘Healthy Hermaphrodite’ is both man and woman

And another one about Tony Briffa

At birth, Tony Briffa’s doctors couldn’t determine his gender. He had a rare intersex condition known as Incomplete Testicular Feminisation that made his gonads release estrogen even though he genetically tested as male. So on his doctor’s advice his parents raised him as a girl named Antoinette—they painted his room pink, gave him dolls at Christmas and made him wear frilly dresses to school.

The frequent hospital visits for hormone therapy and surgery made him feel like a freak: his parents had him castrated at age seven and even though he told his doctors as a pre-teen that he felt like a boy, they ignored him and continued administering female hormone therapy, something that filled him with desperation and thoughts of suicide as he entered his teenage years.

Taken from: The Amazing Heartbreaking Story of Tony Briffa, The World’s First Openly Intersex Mayor

That day I wrote Tony.  I was confused back then after being guided by misinformed doctors and psychiatrist.  My first notes to them no doubt reflected such confusion.  To my doctors here, I remain a disorder, a syndrome, and a medical condition.  They were even trying to convince me I was transgender.   The medical system in the USA can be very confused about intersex and gender.

I knew one thing, without permission from those who had been surgically violated, I was not going to use the word “intersex” or “hermaphrodite”.   My heart was secretly broken by what has happened to their bodies surgically, without consent as a child.   I did not want to offend anyone.  I had been violated, but it had been mostly by psychiatry.  My physical body remains whole, what would they say?

So, with much bravery, I also reached out to six amazing people born intersex: Tony Briffa, along with Tiger Devore, Ph.D.,  Cary Costello, Hida Viloria, Gavan H. Coleman, and Pidgeon Pagonis.  Six of the most tolerant and loving people I have ever met on this Earth.  Around that same time, my path would also cross with Judi Herring, M.D., who had created the TEDx months before meeting me: Gender Bound, Lessons from the World Between.   This too will always feel like a God-incidence and serendipity!  Judi and I have been working together ever since September 2015.  Together we have done public talks, speaking to schools, visiting the city council, and have even spoken to the human rights commissioner here in our city.  We have become very dear and close friends.

Wow, with the opinion of all of them,  I  learned that I was not born a “freak”,  a “disorder”, “syndrome”,  or “condition”, and I surely was not “mentally derange”!  With that permission, and blessing form all of them, and with Judi Herring, M.D. standing by my side,  I became empowered!  I decided to tell the world I too was born intersex, and share my intersex story.  It has been a huge honor to add my message to theirs in ending tragedy from happening to one more innocent child.

One thing that is most amazing, is that we both have two big things in common.   First, we both find it very special that we were all born BOTH  male and female, and most of all we like to celebrate it.   We are both gender nonconforming too but in different ways!   To me, that is serendipity at it’s best!  

The second thing we have in common, is we all have overcome so much trauma, due not conforming to the male and female binary.  With that experience and pain, each of us has taken all that ugliness, and all our bad experiences,  and now help the world with it. 

So there you have it!  

Two people born with natural bodily variations, known as INTERSEX, with the same birth name

Antoinette!  

Planet Earth is an amazingly small place when you start to think about it!   

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Mx. Anunnaki Ray November 2016

Thank you for visiting my intersex story!  

You can read here:  Why did I name myself Anunnaki Ray.

Please also visit the UNITED NATIONS’ INTERSEX FACT SHEET, to learn more about intersex violations and what you personally can do to help us end it. 

UNITED WE WILL CHANGE THIS WORLD!


EndNote:  An intersex person can have any gender identity, and any sexual orientation.   Also, our biological sex does not equal our gender.  I believe that the Self-determination of Gender is our Human Right and that our sexuality should not be decided for us as children,  our parents, by medical, psychological experts, or the government.   


 

 

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Cosmetic Genital Surgery, Intersex Awareness, Questions and Answers, Transgender, United Nations

The difference between transgender and intersex and the harm that wrong language can bring

Language is very important, and language can do harm. Here is one example to why:

The biggest priority most intersex activist/advocates/educators have, like me, is decreasing genital mutilation in babies born with intersex traits and decreasing our bodies being aborted when detected before birth.

This means “Born in the wrong body” transgender theories, can do us harm. This is one example of why I educate.

I support the message is: “No body is shameful” and “born perfect”. Instead of saying disorder, condition, syndrome, or birth defect.  The United Nations wants us to say: NATURAL BODILY VARIATIONS. I like to say we are born a “variety of human”. I urge anyone who is wanting to speak up for intersex rights to please read and memorize these two pages given by the UNTIED NATIONS: INTERSEX FACT SHEET

Also, Although some intersex born people may accept the word “hermaphrodite”, that word too, can bring stigma, and shame, due to it being connected to a medical history of misinformed doctors who justified fixing our bodies due to some of us being labeled “pseudo hermaphrodite”. Always ask before using this word in public. It is always safest to say: “Intersex Person”.
The words we use to stop genital mutilation and abortions from happening are a vastly different from how most transgender people are being taught or may feel about themselves and their, bodies and their genitals. Most psychiatrists, councilors, and doctors are teaching “born in the wrong body” theories and that transgender people need to “transition” through hormone manipulations and surgery to correct their “body dysphoria”.  Although some transgender people truly have body dysphoria and benefit from treatment, some do not. The same truth holds true for intersex people. Everyone’s experience is unique to their own and generalizations are never a good idea.

Here lies the problem, the medical and psychiatric communities are teaching these theories even to the parents of intersex babies, and children. Even as adults, who discover later in life that we were born intersex are being taught these theories. The harm is horrendous. The set back in our movement is great.

Here lies the biggest difference between transgender and intersex. It is a mountain of misinformation, we are up against when it comes to saving bodies, and lives, so that we can simply be born with “NATURAL BODILY VARIATIONS” and co-exists our true gender in this world with the genitals and bodies we were born with.

An intersex person can have any gender identity, and according to the social construct of gender, it is not always going to “agree” with our genitals. So this means the self-determination of our gender has to be our choice. This choice needs to be a fully informed choice and should be given to any child born intersex. Here are some examples of the different gender identities an intersex person can have: Gender Identity.

To learn more, here is an excellent link regarding the “Basic Differences between Transgender and Intersex“, shared from Oii Australia.

An added note:   Some, but not all transgender people elect to have Sex Reassignment Surgeries (SRS) or Gender Confirmation Surgeries.  This can involve just doing “top surgery”, which involves masculinizing or feminizing one’s chest; or the more involved “bottom surgeries”, that help the person to align with their genitals to the expectations of the male/female binary.  Also, some intersex people, but not all, can also identify as transgender and intersex both.   It is up to the person how they describe themselves, and not up to others to label them or diagnose them.

Sad to say, these types of surgeries are also performed on infants and children, born intersex, and is often called “corrective surgery”.   As you now understand, self-determination is a human right, to what surgery a person may or may not want.  The United Nations says that cosmetic genital surgeries, and corrective surgeries,  need to stop in non-consensual infants and children.  

Related articles: 

Trans Persons Posing as Intersex (and the damage they do to intersex rights)

My related blogs: 

Common names for INTERSEX:  Intersex is what it is….

Why I feel INTERSEX should be added to the LGBTQ rainbow

Am I Transgender? Can an intersex person be Transgender?

How I was medically, and psychiatrically violated as an intersex person.

Are my Husband and I Gay Men Now? How We Became Sexual Minorities, Our Intersex Love Story.

I was born perfect, and I am lovable. Thank you, United Nations.

Examples of Transphobia, Queerphobia, and Intersexphobia

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