Intersex Awareness, Intersex Phobia, Prejudice, Relationships, Short Messages

PTSD and being an Intersex Survivor during the Holidays

Teardrop3

I have a few friends, like myself, who have horrible PTSD, and who were violated in various ways and also assigned the wrong gender. The cost: their genitals, fertility, not knowing what they would have naturally looked like, losing friends, losing family, losing their jobs; every aspect of their lives touched and sometimes destroyed by ignorance or outright bigotry.

We are the victims and survivors of attempted genocide and eugenics. Of course, we are broken and learning desperately to create a life for ourselves out of the pieces.

The Holidays are very hard for some of us. We do visit a dark place at times. We need your patience, your love, your empathy. Walk with us during the storms, do not try to fix us.  Love us gently, listen with care, and be there for us.

There is no magic wand, no drug, no prescription, no amount of alcohol, no doctor, no perfect therapy that can fix this form of grief around being violated.

For me, learning to ride the storms is the only method that has worked. Knowing that these storms will end and to remember to dance in the rain, and hold on like hell during the tsunamis!  I do not want to die, but wanting to end this pain is very real at times.  I know of many intersex survivors who get this.   Many of us don’t even feel like we are from this world, we feel like alien outcasts or alien visitors.

With all this said, most important I have learned to allow people to love me and go out of my way to love others who fight this same battle.  This world has to stop hurting people like us and celebrate our births again.

Loving you, if you get this. Stay strong

85px-Another_hermaphrodite_symbol_transparent.svg

~.V.~ 

Advertisements
Human Rights Violations, Poems, Prejudice, Relationships

Poem: I am a cliff climber

article-1391089-0C4652CD00000578-828_634x813

No words need to be said.

Yes, it is utterly and horrifically overwhelming at times

I rarely get a break

And once again

Over and over again

Shoved off the cliff

I am a cliff climber 

After fifty years I am damn good at it too

At least now I know

I am not alone

¥

No words need to be said

 

Mx. Anunnaki Ray
November 27, 2017

~.V.~

 

I found this picture (above). Photograph Credits: Gordon Wiltsie/National Geographic/Caters News.  It was the best in describing how I feel today.
Anunnaki Ray's Photographic Stories, Celebrations, Intersex Awareness, Self-Determination

Joey’s Gift: Self-Determination

DSL_9609

Joey is an amazing spirit, child, and has pure innocence.   At nine years old she is very clear about her gender identity and embraces their feminine side, and yet still has a great passion for sports and aspirations to become a football player!   May this world awaken gently to allow such amazing children to grow, bloom and become.   It is her hope that she changes the rules of the NFL and that they will soon allow capable women!   Look out world!  Joey is coming!

DSL_9662

Here is a message from Tiescha, Joey’s mother:

To watch a child grow into themselves is an remarkable journey to experience. Joey is an XY Intersex girl that embraces her feminine side along with naturally erasing the line in the sand of gender conformity.

She has a beautiful dream in life of seeing women join the NFL.  From an early age she found a lovely balance of enjoying fashion, dolls, baking, loving anything Hot Pink and playing football.  Any given day she walks in the house covered in dirt head to toe after hours of running slant routs, showers and puts on her Monster High PJ’s, plays with her doll house and works on her new fashion designs of Hot Pink dress with frills and sequins.  

I believe one day our Joey will help others make the dream of women in football real.  Her self-determination will take her there, not her chromosomes, or lack of testosterone production, her dream will get her there.  She believes in possibilities and we believe in her. She hopes to show other kids they can be who they are and it’s okay to be Intersex.  According to Joey it’s, okay to love football and play with Dolls, Pick flowers, and enjoy fishing, get a pedicure and play with bugs.

feather

 

Here is a Facebook support for parents of intersex kids: Intersex Support for Parents  

Untitled-1

Here is a message from Joey’s mother, Tiescha, explaining why they allowed Joey to share her aspirations with the world:

“In the past few years, Joey started to ask questions about herself that were somewhat complicated to answer as a parent. We evolved with her and started using resources online to articulate what we could not find words for. She rapidly became more self-aware and in the past year found peace with who she is. Her questions did not stop, she began to conduct her own searches online and wanted to meet other Intersex children. This lead to her wanting to help others in learning (In her words) “It’s okay to be Intersex.” As a baby Joey was subjected to surgery, she never had a say and her voice was stolen. We vowed to never allow this to happen again. She is now using her voice and has our unconditional support, love, and guidance.”

22835407_10210765945444447_1583207896_n

A picture of Joey as a baby. 

An Anonymous Message From a Parent of an intersex child: What happens with the bathrooms when she grows up?

An Anonymous letter from a parent; to National Geographic.

This message brought to you for INTERSEX Awareness Day 2017, with much gratitude to our h Seth Langner of Karmathartic

Male_and_female_sign.svgs

~.V.~

Poems

My Poem: I am the Storm

 

21432767_10213999637490469_1633553776437345790_n.jpg

I am the Storm.

The Unforgivable.

I put this world on its head now.

When I decided to no longer remain silent, my blood family turned me into the living dead.

As Hurricane Irma approaches I realized once more that life can be short.

When I appeared a woman to this world, so sick in my hospital bed, it was no different then.  I was dying I was alone then too.

My very being mortified you back then like it does now!

My only crime being born different.

I am the Storm.

The Unforgivable.

I put this world on its head now.

I embarrass you don’t I?

There is no concern because I am the living dead to you. 

And yet here I am writing this about you!   

I am your brother you refuse to meet.

Why do I even allow you to rent space in my mind? 

I wonder what Karma is like for such ass holes.

I am the storm

because I prove your lies are lies!

 

By Mx. Anunnaki Ray

September 9th, 2017

Note: Hurrican Irma will be hitting my area, here in Florida, September 9th, 2017.  To the best of our ability, my family hopes to be safe.  Remember, together we change this world. Together we are the storm. 

Poems I Have Written

~.V.~

Intersex Phobia, Prejudice, Transphobia

Examples of Transphobia, Queerphobia, ​and Intersexphobia

tumblr_nhhjaqucdo1qe3hjjo1_500

symbols_flag_transgender

The following are a few examples of transphobic attitudes (note that sometimes these examples below can be examples of Queerphobia too):

  1. The belief/insistence that trans women are not “real women”
  2. The belief/insistence that trans men are not “real men”.
  3. The belief/insistence that non-binary genders are invalid and do not exist.
  4. The belief/insistence that transsexual people are gay people in denial and wish to have sex reassignment surgery to attempt to restore ‘heteronormativity’.
  5. The refusal to acknowledge a trans person’s true gender.
  6. The refusal to use the correct name for a trans person.
  7. Repeated and deliberate misgendering of trans people.
  8. The Exclusion of trans people from activities, services, or conversations.
  9. The belief that being transgender means you are mentally ill.
  10. The belief that conversion therapy and psychiatric manipulations, can somehow “cure” a transgender person.
  11. The belief that transgender means you are a sexual deviant or a pervert.
  12. Thinking that forcing a transgender person to use the bathroom of their birth-assigned gender will “protect” women and children, even if in reality it is actually increasing the chance of violence inflicted on the transgender person.
  13. The belief that a transgender person is an abomination or a sinner.
  14. Insisting that a transgender person must be confused about their own gender.
  15. The belief that we have to be segregated and not allowed in sports or gym class as our transitioned gender.
  16. The belief that we are somehow a danger in locker rooms.
  17. Not being able to participate in sports as our authentic transitioned gender, due to a perceived advantage, only due to our birth assignment not matching our true gender identity.  This happening even after complete hormonal transition.

cropped-intersex_flag-svg.png

The following are a few examples of intersex phobic attitudes:

  1. Having problems with the word “intersex” because it has the word “sex” in it.
  2. The belief/insistence that intersex bodies are a disorder, syndrome, birth defect, or a condition, even when told that intersex is about having natural bodily variations.
  3. The belief/insistence of the medical community to continue their medicalized effort to eradicate intersex people from society by “normalizing” intersex bodies into more typically male or female bodies in order to maintain sex and gender norms.
  4. The belief/insistence that we are not lovable unless our bodies are hormonally or surgically fixed to conform to male and female sex and gender “norms”.  Which leads to violent discrimination, acted out through non-consensual genital surgeries on children.
  5. The belief/insistence that a person of the female gender cannot have a larger clitoris, phalloclitoris, penis or testicles.
  6. The belief/insistence that a person of the male gender cannot have a vagina, vulva, or ovaries.
  7. The belief/insistence that XY creates a male and XX creates a female.  When intersex XY women exist, and intersex XX men exist.
  8. The belief/insistence that intersex bodies do not exist and we are mythological.
  9. The belief/insistence that all intersex people are freaks, sexual deviants, perverts or pedophiles.
  10. The belief/insistence that intersex people are trying to trick or deceive you when referring to their true gender identity.
  11. The belief/insistence that gender is created by our genitals, reproductive system, hormones, and chromosomes when gender is more like our personality and can not be accurately medically determined through medical tests or lab work.
  12. The belief/insistence that if we are assigned the wrong gender, then we would have to be considered transgender if we emancipate our true gender later in life.  (This I feel is up to the person, and not to doctors, family or society).
  13. Intersex Erasure in the mainstream and alternative media.
  14. Intersex Erasure among the LGBT groups, in not wanting inclusion.
  15. Regulations against intersex female athletes (with high levels of natural testosterone) which require them to undergo medically unnecessary, “feminizing”, medical treatments such as hormone therapy, in order to compete as women.
  16. Feeling that intersex female athletes, who have higher natural testosterone,  are somehow breaking the rules, and are in need of punishment or treated as criminals.
  17. The belief that we are born a sexual abomination, while at the same time sexualizing intersex infants due to homophobia and transphobia.
  18. The assumption that if you are intersex that you must be gay.
  19. The assumption that all intersex people are unhealthy and/or mentally affected.
  20. The assumption that we must truly be transgender when we are not.  Only some intersex people identify as being both transgender and intersex.  It has to be up to that intersex person to determine this not society.
  21. The belief that we are not “real” women or “real” men, due to our intersex bodies, chromosomes, or hormones.
  22. The belief that we are somehow a danger to people in public bathrooms or locker rooms,  and being segregated out of gym class, or forced to use the nurse’s station’s bathroom in public schools as students.
  23. Being forced to use gender marked facilities that do not match our true gender identity, like locker rooms or bathrooms.
  24. As children having our bodies photographed without our consent, by doctors or predators, and later finding them published in medical journals, or on various websites, without our permission.

Please feel free to E-mail me if you would like me to add one.

Thank you!  

 

My related blogs:

The FEMALE PENIS and the MALE VAGINA; and explaining this to our children.

Five ways I show that the Male/Female Binary is a Myth, and a Social Construct. Nature has always Created Sexual Variety and Diversity.

Seven Names for the SAME thing: Penis, Phallus, Clitoris, Phalloclitoris, Micropenis, Microphalus, and Clitoromegaly.

 

Helpful References:

United Nations’ Intersex Fact Sheet

The Phalloclitoris: Anatomy and Ideology By Cary G. Costello

What is Intersexphobia or Interphobia?   By Hida Viloria

 

~.V.~ 

 

 

 

 

Anonymous Messages, Human Rights, Prejudice, Relationships

An Anonymous Message from a Suicidal Intersex Survivor

WE ARE HUMAN with Feather

I have been helping an intersex survivor and asked to share their words to this world.  I Hope this makes everyone give pause.  It is no wonder why the suicide rate is so high.  I have felt the same at times:

I may seem like a strong person, but in reality, I am fragile deep inside, you have no clue to my daily battles, you have no clue what it’s like to be in my skin. When people treat me different I feel it deep within and though I shouldn’t let things get to me, they do, for I have to fight every day to be just me, when people see only my disability and disorders, you fail to see that I am just as good a human being like anyone else, so fuck you for making me feel worthless and unworthy of love, friendship and happiness like anyone else, because of the way I look and the way I was born.

I do dream of a day I will be seen just as human being with the same needs and wants as any other human being, sure my body is different, but so is the colour of your hair, and eyes, I am just another variance of the human experience, I get treated poorly by gay guys because of my feminine features and treated like I’m not worthy of love, friendship and dates. My experience with date sites has been nothing more than a million question time and curiosity seekers, never thinking I’m a person just like them.

Intersex is not a deformation of the human body, it is natural variance of the human experience, intersex is not a taboo, what is taboo is the ignorance of a society that has little to no respect for others in their own unique form, being intersex is not a religious sin of deformation, but what is a sin is you lack of acceptance and love, and further more intersex people are just that people, intersex people are within every facet of society and are worthy of love, peace and compassion, and if you fail to be on that Level of equality with any type of person then you have failed in being a child of God and you have failed to be a true human being with good humble values.

Maybe this world change, and become a nicer place for people born with a difference, and words like this never have to be spoken again.

~.V.~

 

Cultural Dysphoria, Poems, Prejudice, Relationships, Self-Determination

Poem: Somebody else was in control

cropped-dsc_7840-edit-copy1.jpg

 

They told me I had to be a girl.

Can you imagine being told you are a girl?

Somebody else was in control. 

At three years old, they told me my body could never pass as a boy.

Can you imagine being told your body is wrong at three?

Somebody else was in control.

So, as a teen, they locked me up for months at a time.

Stuffed poison into my body, to numb the pain.

I became a walking zombie.

Diagnosing me the sick one.

The wrong one.

The broken one.

 

Estrogen

Somebody stepped inside my soul.

Little by little they robbed and stole.

Somebody else was in control.

So, a girl emerged to please you.    

 

A lifetime wasted

I saved myself and emerged my birth right.

And now we have no family.

Because they think I am the wrong one.

You liars, you convinced this world! 

I have a will for survival.

So you can hurt me, and hurt me some more

I can live with denial

But you’re not my troubles anymore.

By Anunnaki Ray

July 18th, 2017

 

Dedicated to U2 – The Troubles

(This link will take you to Youtube).

 

Male_and_female_sign.svg

~.V.~