A Call for ACTION to our allies. I am asking for language to change regarding pronouns. Please say instead:
“Please share your required pronouns with me, but only if you feel safe.”
Here are my reasons:
1) My pronouns are not preferred, they are required and never negotiable.
2) It is not always safe to out a person’s pronouns, so please be mindful of this too. Their job could be in jeopardy, and/or they also might not be safe.
3) Is it truly always your business? Sometimes, yes, sometimes no. Think before you ask.
4) Are you trying to out a nonconforming person in the disguise of being welcoming? If so, maybe you should zip it.
I understand that this is the new etiquette, but it is not a perfect one. Please change the language to:
Please share your required pronouns, but only if you feel safe. Last, if you need to know a person’s pronouns, offer yours first, then politely ask.