My Intersex Story, Relationships, Short Messages

A call for action: My pronouns are not “preferred” they are required.

A Call for ACTION to our allies. I am asking for language to change regarding pronouns. Please say instead:

“Please share your required pronouns with me, but only if you feel safe.”

Here are my reasons:

1) My pronouns are not preferred, they are required and never negotiable.

2) It is not always safe to out a person’s pronouns, so please be mindful of this too. Their job could be in jeopardy, and/or they also might not be safe.

3) Is it truly always your business? Sometimes, yes, sometimes no. Think before you ask.

4) Are you trying to out a nonconforming person in the disguise of being welcoming? If so, maybe you should zip it.

I understand that this is the new etiquette, but it is not a perfect one. Please change the language to:

Please share your required pronouns, but only if you feel safe. Last, if you need to know a person’s pronouns, offer yours first, then politely ask.


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