“Intersex” can not be an Endosex Person’s Gender Identity.

The way I see, and many other intersex born people see it:

Intersex is not a term that should not be adopted by people who “feel” like they are intersex, but have e ndosex (non-intersex) bodies. I also feel that “intersex” can not accurately describe as an intersex person’s gender identity, due to sex and gender identity being two different things. As humans sometimes our sex is in alignment with our gender identity and sometimes it is not. A few intersex people might identify their gender identity as being “intersex” even, but I would now encourage those people to now say “intergender“, instead of intersex for their gender identity. I hope to educate this world to never make this error in assuming our gender identity is “intersex”, if we were born with an intersex variation, without asking us first.

Next, if you were born endosex when you say that you have an intersex identity you are doing harm. Please do not appropriate our lived experience for your benefit. It hurts the intersex babies being born to this world, and it hurts us, intersex adults, too. Worse, endosex people owning the word “intersex”, is also a form of intersex erasure.

Here are possible terms to describe endosex bodied people who want to identify with us intersex bodied people, if your gender identity somehow relates to what you think our gender experience could be like: Intergender, Altersex, Nonconforming Gender, NonBinaryGender, Gender Queer, Gender Fluid, Two-Spirit, Transexual, and Transgender. If you are endosex or intersex, there are many ways to describe gender identity and gender expression.

The United Nations’ Intersex Fact Sheet educates:

Intersex people are born with sex characteristics (including genitals, gonads and chromosome patterns) that do not fit typical binary notions of male or female bodies.

Intersex is an umbrella term used to describe a wide range of natural bodily variations. In some cases, intersex traits are visible at birth while in others, they are not apparent until puberty. Some chromosomal intersex variations may not be physically apparent at all.

According to experts, between 0.05% and 1.7% of the population is born with intersex traits – the upper estimate is similar to the number of red haired people.

Being intersex relates to biological sex characteristics, and is distinct from a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity. An intersex person may be straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual or asexual, and may identify as female, male, both or neither.

Being born intersex is about our physiology, and/or chromosomes, and/or hormones. To me, being born intersex is about my sex. An intersex person can have any gender identity: Man/boy, Woman/girl, both or neither. Gender identity is about how we feel about ourselves, in our brains and personality.

Not all intersex people are born “intergender” or “nonbinary”:

Last, although often assumed, not all intersex people are born “intergender” or “nonbinary”. Our being born intersex simply describes our anatomical, and physical reality. Without asking us first, our gender identity should not be assumed, or even guessed by medical experts.

For example, although I was assigned as a girl at my birth, I am an intersex, nonconforming, androgynous gay man. It would break down as: My sex: intersex is my physiology, chromosomes, genitals, and hormones. My gender expression: the way I look, act and dress. My sexual orientation: who I am sexually attracted to and want to have sex with. And last my gender identity: what is in between my ears, is “man”.

I also like to say that when you have met one intersex person, you have met one intersex person. Here is the blog of intersex born Jim Costich on this same topic: Intersex is Not an Identity By Jim Costich

To learn more about human sexuality, please go to Helpful Definitions of Human Sexuality with Flags. This blog might also interest you: Cultural Dysphoria: Stop conflating anatomical sex with gender identity.