Yup, I used to have chromosome Dysphoria! It was caused by science not catching up with my very real existence as an intersex nonconforming man. Chromosome Dysphoria is very real. Chromosome dysphoria happens when we are taught that only females can have XX chromosomes and males have XY chromosomes, and we believe this myth!
To those who do not know, according to most science dogma, 46XY would be the chromosomes for a typical endosex male, and 46 XX would be the chromosomes for a typical endosex female. (Note: Notice how I say “typical” and not “normal”. This is out of respect for myself and others born intersex, non-conforming gender, and transgender. However, most would use the word “normal”.) This false belief has tried to erase intersex, gender non-conforming people, and transgender people from the face of the earth. I am here to teach the truth!
I was declared “female” at birth. To dare think I was simply XX chromosomes, caused me much dysphoria. I wanted this “Y” chromosome so bad I lied a few times! I actually would share, with a few, that I had a “Y” chromosome. You see, when I was a little boy I went to therapy to be taught I was a girl. It traumatized me! Therapy, brought on by the theories of John Money, taught me I did not exist as a boy. It destroyed most of my life. Worse, since I was not a typical girl, I felt I could not exist as female either! Imagine that, feeling invisible most your life. I wrote this poem about it: Poem: Dear Dad, Invisible is no way to live.
It ended up, after being checked, that I am simply 46 XX. This means that I should now be called a 46 XX Intersex person not female! Most of my life, due to having a higher testosterone level for a “female”, I slipped into a place of being misdiagnosed as a condition, syndrome, and disorder, most of my life.
I finally dropped the diagnosis that labeled me a defect and a syndrome and started to call myself intersex October of 2014. I wrote this about it: I am an Intersex Person, I never felt like a Cisgender person, and I relate to some transgender men. and Doctors call us a disorder, defect or syndrome when we are born. We are simply intersex.
As I listened and read about the others born intersex, I realized I had been lied to. So I wrote several other intersex activists, such as: Tiger Devore, Ph.D., Cary G. Costello, Ph.D., Pidgeon Pagonis, Hida Viloria, and Toni Briffa. I even wrote, Buck Angel, an amazing transsexual man, and trans activist (Note: he refers to himself as transsexual, even though most now use the term transgender).
Their response woke me up. I could EXIST as a person!
Later, with the help of Judi Herring, M.D., whom I have done a few public talks with; I realized I was not a disorder or a syndrome! That I was born intersex; and yes, with self-determination, I was of the male gender, even if I was gender-nonconforming, and have two XX chromosomes. I no longer have chromosome dysphoria, gender dysphoria, or any form of dysphoria. I simply live in a world that is misinformed and has “cultural dysphoria”.
I now know that XX men exist, and XY women exist, and there are many of us!
Added Note: Since the publication of this blog I have since learned that gestational parents pregnant who had been pregnant with an XY fetus can have fetal “Y” chromosomes stored throughout their body and even their brain. This phenomena is known as fetal microchimerism. So with that said, I likely do have “Y” chromosomes in my body due to being pregnant with my son! This made me very happy today! You can read more about this here: Why Does a Mother’s Body Keep Some of Her Baby’s Cells After Birth?
Quote: A few births out of a thousand of babies are born with a single sex chromosome (45X or 45Y) and are referred to as sex monosomies. Others are born with three or more sex chromosomes (47XXX, 47XYY or 47XXY, etc.) and are called sex polysomies. “In addition, some males are born 46XX due to the translocation of a tiny section of the sex determining region of the Y chromosome,” said WHO. “Similarly some females are also born 46XY due to mutations in the Y chromosome. Clearly, there are not only females who are XX and males who are XY, but rather, there is a range of chromosome complements, hormone balances, and phenotypic variations that determine sex.”
It is important to remember that sex and gender have two separate definitions and many cultures include more labels than simply “male” and “female” to identify others.
This fourteen minute TEDx: “Gender Bound”, by Judi Herring, M.D. sums gender up well:
My autobiography: About Mx. Anunnaki Ray
Here is one by Cary Costello, Ph.D; Intersex Roadshow, that might interest you:
Here is an article that talks about chimera’s and pregnancy causing some of a babies cells to be stored inside the gestational parent. So, if that person was pregnant with an XY baby, they will have “Y” chromosomes throughout their tissues and even their brain: