Poem: When I faced the streets alone

When I faced the streets alone

I looked up into the Florida winter sky

The stars seemed further away than usual 

God nowhere to be found in my heart

I thought I was alone

I now know God was there

but not at the time

just darkness

you see, boys don’t cry…

or do they?

Thankfully not too cold, but the breeze undeniable, even for Florida

I had a few men’s clothes back then…..I had my combat boots, ant pants and my Mesa Verde dark blue jacket on.  

The beginning of a mustache

Would I be safer on the streets as a man?

At the time not wanting to burden my family with all the prejudice we would have to share if I stayed with them

So I left to face the 

unknown

alone

I had just received a landslide of family and friends abandoning me due to homophobia, transphobia, and accusing me I had lied and deceived them

Being born intersex did not save me from prejudice 

I had no-one now

I even felt God had vanished

and abandoned

me

Walking out on my husband’s own homophobic and rage  

No one cared how I was taking it….

you only asked how is my family taking it?

I had become an

untouchable

One of the hardest things I ever faced was leaving my family, finding myself on the streets, and not one “friend” had a couch for me.

Not one

Maybe like a dog they feared

I would never leave their couch 

Maybe they didn’t realize I could have died on the streets

Maybe they did not have the

time to

care

I called one person who cared

The sun was not up yet  

Then a gay man named John,

who helps runaway teens

picked me up off the side of the road

We talked for hours

Two strangers

One love

for

humanity

With this man’s love

Thankfully my husband realized

the sky would not fall if he loved me,

his life partner,

a gay

intersex man

I am certain if he had not

I would be

dead now

But………..

I will never forget

No friend,

and no shelter

would give me a temporary home

they all said

no

 

 

By Mx. Anunnaki Ray Marquez 

November 14th, 2019

For Transgender Awareness Week

November 13th to 19th, 2019

 

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There is a hidden epidemic of violence against transmasculine people | Aug 09, 2019 | By Orion Rodriguez,

Can an Intersex person be Transgender? | By Mx Anunnaki Ray Marquez

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