It is important to understand that for me, being born in the middle as intersex, I need to be medically and socially recognized, as both male and female, to get the proper care I might be needing if I show up at the hospital emergency room, or have to be hospitalized.
First of all, my body is not that of a typical dyadic female or dyadic male. It is typical for a person born with natural intersex variations. That is because my biological sex is intersex. I have not been operated on, and my reproductive system, and genitals have not been altered. So, my doctors need to know that when examining me, or if I am having problems with my reproductive system, they are going to see things that are not typical. For example, my ovaries do not appear typical at all when viewed by ultrasound or CAT scan and my skeleton/pelvis is not that of a dyadic women. I have strange looking ovaries, but am not in pain unless I was ovulating and that was acceptable to me since I wanted to keep my fertility. Many experts have seen ovaries and immediately suggest that I must be in pain all the time and need immediately surgery, now that I appear a man. I also have other atypical things going on within my reproductive system, that have never became a medical emergency. I refuse to have surgery if I am not in pain. If my ovaries are ok, they will remain in my body to continue to release the natural hormones they were created to do the job for. I do not have body dysphoria, and want my genitals and reproductive system to be left alone.
Second, my gender, and how I feel my personality to be, is very non-conforming. Socially I need to be respected as being intersex too. I may appear either a female or a male in my mannerisms, and my appearance. My body is very androgynous and it can sometimes confuses people. I am often mixed up as being transgender even. Since I am a 46 XX intersex person, that appears a man to this world now, they need to know that too, and that I want to hear male pronouns, or neutral pronouns. That just because my chromosomes say I am a “girl”, doesn’t mean I am a girl. I am an androgynous, inter-gender, non-conforming male, and have genitals that are not typical to either a typical male or a female.
Third, I legally changed my gender marker to male on my driver’s license, but purposely kept my legal name my birth name, Antoinette. My birth certificate remains the same as when I was born too. So, when they see me, they see a female legal name, and a male gender marker. This immediately honors who I truly am, and they are then I ask them to use my nickname, to address me, since I obviously do not relate to being an “Antoinette” anymore. Those nicknames being “Ant”, or “Nnaki”. I also prefer that they use Mx., instead of Mr. or Mrs. I have never had problems with them honoring this.
Last, I will not be changing my birth certificate to male. I want to wait until I get the right to change it to intersex. Right now I do not have that legal ability to do that easily. I am waiting for this country to catch up so it will not be such a battle. I greatly appreciate those intersex activist that are making this a possible reality in the future for all of us!
Here is the United Nations’ Intersex Fact Sheet