Culture Dysphoria · Intersex Awareness · Questions and Answers · Self-Determination

Do I pass? What Gender am I?

I was NOT born a girl...

One’s self-determination of gender, can come in many forms, and it is not always the male female binary.  There are other options out there!  All too often, I see that some are not even told or shown that non-binary options are out there. We are expected to live up to this list of expectations, which come in the form of hormones and genital surgeries, to “pass” as the male/female binary.

The medical community, and our world governments, are now being challenged right now with the right of Self-Determination of gender. A right to self-determine that has nothing to do with our genitals, reproductive system, genitals or chromosomes. Gender identity is like one’s personality. It is a feeling one holds within themselves. Here are some ways people can declare their gender:

  1. Male
  2. Female
  3. Cisgender
  4. Binary Gender
  5. Bi-gender
  6. Gender Fluid
  7. Gender Queer
  8. Intergender
  9. Neuter or Genderless
  10. Non-binary
  11. Omnigender
  12. Pangender
  13. Transgender
  14. Tri-gender
    Plus, other terms not mentioned….

If you need the above gender terms explained, you can go to: Helpful LGBTQIA+ Definitions

I listen to what is going on in social media, and the groups out there.  Some of us intersex and transgender people are tired of being diagnosed broken, disordered, or as a syndrome,  if we do not conform to being a typical male, or female.  A diagnosis like “gender dysphoria”, or “Gender identity Disorder”, only show that authorities are trying to control what we do to our bodies to “pass”.  In some states, there are laws that make it so that we can not even change our birth certificate unless we agree to cut our genitals.  Each state has its own laws.  Some of us, intersex or transgender people don’t want surgery.  Some of us do not feel defective at all.

I truly feel that it is cultural dysphoria.   A culture dysphoria based on a social construct that has declared some of us sexual minorities, and our bodies defective, or our mental well being defective too.  I do not have gender dysphoria, and yet I was diagnosed with it.   So when I worry about if I “pass”, I am  comparing myself to this social construct of male and female.  Maybe I don’t care if I pass.  Maybe I am happy not passing.   If we truly want surgery or hormones, it should ONLY be up to us, not our doctors, society or our government.

Do I Pass?
You decide for yourself if you pass. Society should not have that power.

So in my case, when someone says I was “born a girl”, they could not be further from the truth. I was never a girl.  I was simply assigned female and raised to be a girl. For me, I reclaimed myself and my birthright. It was never a transition for me. Further, some of us like our bodies too, and don’t feel born in the wrong body either.  So when I am told, “you were born a boy, in the wrong body”; that is not further from the truth.

Please notice how I always say “typical” and never “normal”. Nature has created a variety of people out here. A variety that affects our biological sex (reproductive organs, genitals, hormones, and chromosomes) and gender (Our personality, and how we relate to the gender spectrum of male and female).

Some of us (intersex and transgender), don’t want surgery, or wish surgery had not been forced on us as children.  I am fine with my body just the way it is. Some of us simply do not want our bodies to ever “pass as normal”.  I refuse to have genital surgery.  Some just have “top surgery” (chest reconstruction, or breast surgery).   More and more, are not doing the entire “to do list”, to conform to this male female binary of “normal”.  Some intersex and transgender people, even refuse to do the hormones, or to dress a certain way, and it is their human right to do so.

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A sign I really liked, created by: www.intersexday.org

Last, I would like to share this: There are intersex people, who believe their intersex body, is a part of their gender identity, and declare that they are “intragender”. One XXY person I know described their gender and biological sex like this: Intergender/Intersex. We are all given this right to self-determine who we are and how we define ourselves. No one is right or wrong with this. It is time that we all respected each other better.

In closing, this world is Big! There are many intersex people, and transgender people who conform, and are either male or female. There are also intersex people who are cisgender too (they agree with the gender they were assigned to at birth), and strictly either male or female.  Needless to say, I never could be cisgender, because the authorities assigned me the wrong gender at birth.  I do not conform to the male/female binary either, in that I will not have a complete surgical sex change.   In other wards, to describe my gender and biological sex, I am a non-binary/intersex man.   I do like the word “Intergender” though, and might start using it to describe my own gender, since my biological sex is a mixture of both male and female intersex traits, and my gender is non-binary.  In a way it is a different way to say non-binary, intersex person.  Therefore, once again, I share that the Self-Determination of gender is one’s human right, and should not be up to our doctors, psychiatrists, social groups, or our world governments. 

A related blog of mine: Two diagnosis that bring in the cash $$ for surgeons, psychiatrist, and therapist: Disorders of Sex Development, and Gender Dysphoria

Biological Sex and Gender Both on a Spectrum
Fix Society Please.
What are other intersex people saying about gender and intersex?
On Sex/Gender Check Boxes By Cary G. Costello, Ph.D.
Cisgender, Transgender, and Intersex By Cary G. Costello, Ph.D.
Caught in the Gender Binary Blind Spot: Intersex Erasure in Cisgender Rhetoric By Hida Viloria
The Age on Tony Briffa: “Choosing the right gender” By Tony Briffa
~.V.~
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