It is truly no one’s business, unless I make it your business.
But to educate I will talk about it here.
Most would never talk to a complete stranger, or even a friend about their genitals. But for some reason being intersex, or transgender, many people think it is their business.
This is because most our world currently defines male and female by our genitals, people are obsessed with our genitals defining our gender. So they pry into my business, to check to see if I got it “right”. I have received some of the most profound, and bold questions.
Here are the answers to the top ten questions I have been asked. I have also added links to past articles I wrote for your convenience
- No, I do not have the “best of two worlds”. I am a 46, XX, intersex man, and I am “Intergender” or “Non-binary” gender.
- No, my intersex genitals do not mean I am both genders, male and female. I have one gender, and I call myself “intergender” or “non-binary” male. Intersex people, like anyone identify their gender, anyway, just like anyone else has the right to.
- No, I will not tell you the size of my “junk”, or how I have sex.
- Yes, I have had surgeries that involved my reproductive system, but I do not consider myself to be mutilated by these surgeries. However, I was hurt by being raised the wrong gender, and was a harmed by medical and psychiatric interventions, that wanted to “fix me”. I sadly know many who have been destroyed by genital surgery though.
- No, I do not have testicles. I have atypical ovaries and a body (adrenals), that produce higher androgens (male hormones). In utero and as a developing fetus, I also was exposed to higher androgens, and this changed the way my body developed intersex, and it likely masculinized my brain.
- Yes, I am of the male gender. No, I do not have sperm. I am female fertile, so I have eggs. It is impossible for the human body to have both eggs and sperm.
- Yes, I was capable of childbirth, by having two c-sections, and through adoption. Please read about it here: I am a SEAHORSE Dad.
- No, I will not have surgery to alter my genitals. I do not feel defective, broken, or in need of surgery to make myself what is “typical” to my gender male. You can read more: My Body is Not Abnormal. Please Don’t Call me Broken.
- No, I do not have gender dysphoria and I never felt trapped in the wrong body. I actually like my body now that I found out I was lied to all my life about my genitals being “defective”. I will never say “disorder of sexual development” again, and my gender is not created by my genitals. Gender is how I internally feel about myself, much like my personality.
- Yes, I have one dedicated partner of twenty-seven years. Therefore, my sexual orientation is being with this ONE person. I was born with an intersex body, but this does not create my GENDER or define my Sexual Orientation.
“Do you really think you can be a ‘real man'”?
Yes, I am a real intergender/non-binary intersex man.
I am simply no longer invisible to you no more.
Please note: Each intersex and transgender person is different.
I can only share my intersex experience.