Human Rights Violations, Poems, Prejudice, Short Messages

Another Intersex Poem: It is sad when it takes bravery to be my friend.



It is sad when it takes bravery

to be my friend.

What will your friends say,

when they find out, that I was born in-between, or was

once called a beautiful woman with a “disorder of sexual development”,  or a “syndrome”?


I now appear a queer gay man,

I won’t even conform to this world as a man.

Will you be ok with that?

Do I need to ask your permission?


It is sad when it takes bravery

to be my friend.

to stand up against

the forced assignment of gender in so many of us.

The authorities who had it all figured out for me

like they have done countless times before

to people like me.


The government and doctors forcing us into boxes

boxes that we never belonged to


What will your friends say,

When they find out that you are for humanity

and for my human rights?


Please, ask yourselves

because maybe they are not a good friend.


Will they even take the time to hear about the specific

Human Rights Violations

Faced by Millions of Intersex  People,

and learn about all of us?


Will you be brave and stand alone,

if that is what it means?

Or will you leave me too?


It is sad when it takes bravery,

to be my friend.


To stand up for people who do not have privilege

as a person of privilege.


Why is that?


Mx. Anunnaki Ray  Marquez


I wrote this poem, after losing countless “friends”.  When I reclaimed my true gender it was a social mess.  People did not know how to handle it.  I was even fired by doctors who felt that what I was doing was wrong.   Few listened with care, and many vanished.  I had to find special lists of “LGBT Friendly” doctors to even find the ones that would agree to help me and were “safe”.  There is no such thing as a list of “intersex friendly” doctors, and I have often been confused as a transgender man.  A confusion that even had me confused.

I know I am not alone, I know many intersex and transgender people who have gone through this same hell.  All at a time when you feel you might not even survive and are so dangerously suicidal.   The things that they said to me, when I came out, broke my heart.

They did not stop to think of the harm that they were doing.  The noise in their own heads turned up so high, that they only cared about themselves and what others would think of them.  I was committing a “social and cultural taboo”, and that is all they cared about.  They were not able to stand by that.

Thankfully, I did not kill myself, I found new people who love me for who I am, but recently I have been saddened by this memory again.  Thank you, for taking the time to learn about people like me.


You may also want to read: I am an Intersex Person. I never felt like a Cisgender Person and I Relate to Some Transgender Men






2 thoughts on “Another Intersex Poem: It is sad when it takes bravery to be my friend.”

  1. I can relate, since coming out as agender many friends have gone silent. I’m frustrated because they don’t ask questions, except in a couple cases, they just disappear. It is very isolating. If I didn’t have a great support network here I’d feel so alone.

    Liked by 1 person

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