Poem: I am a Lonely Knight

I am lonely

I miss what I could never have

Living as a woman for the first forty-six years of my life

Robbed of who I truly am – the life I should have had

My straight husband loved me more a man

that put you into a rage so you hated him too

You treated him like shit. You broke him you bastard.

I sit here alone now. Cancer took it all away.

Wanting another Knight in Shinning Armor to rescue me

or is it me who rescues him? I am confused now.

Is it me who rescues her? Now I don’t know for sure.

I want to be loved for who I am

All broken

All fabulous

All HUMAN Alien!

His dying words said we were Knights at the round table,

He said I must live on!

Maybe all Pirate!

How can I feel human? This world erases me.

People in power and control erased me

and then they will punish who ever loves me

You ask, does this make you gay if you sex me?

The irony is when even LGBTQ people do not know I exist

When you would think it would be a gay man who would love me again – but is it?

I am so lonely it aches

Don’t tell me I need to learn how to live alone to be okay!

This is bullshit. I mastered living alone.

I mastered it, I say!

All my life I have felt like an alien visitor

So I hide a lonely pirate, or am I the Knight

as his dying words said?

By Mx. Anunnaki Ray Marquez

August 27th, 2023

~.V.~