Your last meal with me was Magnolian Beef
We knew it was the end – hospice would be starting
The fortune cooking said, “You will be going on a boat ride soon”
We laughed – but we could see the truth in the message
After the Anointing of the sick and Last Rights, Fr Manny heard you say
“I am going to an island soon”
We had had much Buddhist preparation for death.
You died so peacefully with me singing “fix you” and “lights will guide you home…..”
I could not believe you were dying in my arms with our son holding your hand.
Thirty – Three years ended.
You had to go your body too broken – nothing would work no more.
You were a Leukemia warrior, and you died in that shirt declaring it so.
We were robbed.
I want to follow you – and I am very physically sick now
You gave me my marching orders as you died
“We are knights at the round table, I must die now, and you must live on”
no no no it is so unfair
it is wrong that you are gone so young
I hate this world
and it obviously hates me
God help me
You are free now – a cloud
I saw the chimney stack at the funeral home
and your ashes are now near me, in this beautiful red urn
Sweet gum red leaves
An urn that represents all the beautiful red leaves of our last walks together in the fall
I am afraid to say my heart breaks because I know I will die too if I do so
Thay was right
You are a cloud now
We never die
We are never born
By Mx Anunnaki Ray Marquez
Dec. 24th, 2022