Poem: My First Christmas without you.

Your beautiful red urn: “Forget the hearse, ’cause I’ll never die.” Back n Black AC/DC | The song you picked out to be played at your memorial.

Your last meal with me was Magnolian Beef

Your favorite

We knew it was the end – hospice would be starting

The fortune cooking said, “You will be going on a boat ride soon”

We laughed – but we could see the truth in the message

After the Anointing of the sick and Last Rights, Fr Manny heard you say

“I am going to an island soon”

We had had much Buddhist preparation for death.

You died so peacefully with me singing “fix you” and “lights will guide you home…..”

I could not believe you were dying in my arms with our son holding your hand.

Thirty – Three years ended.

You had to go your body too broken – nothing would work no more.

You were a Leukemia warrior, and you died in that shirt declaring it so.

We were robbed.

I want to follow you – and I am very physically sick now

You gave me my marching orders as you died

“We are knights at the round table, I must die now, and you must live on”

no no no it is so unfair

it is wrong that you are gone so young

I hate this world

and it obviously hates me

God help me

You are free now – a cloud

I saw the chimney stack at the funeral home

and your ashes are now near me, in this beautiful red urn

Sweet gum red leaves

An urn that represents all the beautiful red leaves of our last walks together in the fall

I am afraid to say my heart breaks because I know I will die too if I do so

Thay was right

You are a cloud now

We never die


We are never born

By Mx Anunnaki Ray Marquez

Dec. 24th, 2022

Christmas Eve


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