Most of my life I was taught that the monster
was within me
If only I could
be more feminine
be more inteligent
be more conforming
be more ordinary
be a proper girl
Most of my life I was taught that I was the
problem
and I worked hard to prove you right
Conforming to be the girl and a beautiful woman
that therapy and doctors taught me I had to be
Most of my life I was taught that the monster
was within me
I was too queer
I was too masculine
not feminine enough
I was too out there
but really a gay boy
With your “expertise”
you told me that I was too crazy or mentally ill
you convinced my family even
so much for your Ph.D., M.D. or Masters
sorry, all that school failed you
Most of my life you taught me I was the problem
When I woke up and found out you were Monster
you are too straight
too cis
too binary
too brainwashed
too ignorant
too homophobic
too transphobic
too closed-minded
the monster was always you
you gaslighted me
right out of existence
with your strict pink and blue binary notions
I almost died
admit it
as long as you were paid
you didn’t care if I lived or died
you abandoned me sick to prove it
when I told you I was born a boy
but I survived
it didn’t work
I saved myself
no thanks to you and your expertise
I legally exist now
an Intersex gay man
The Monster was you all along!
now I get to teach you
By Mx. Anunnaki Ray Marquez
August, 16th, 2020
~.V.~
Mx. Anunnaki Ray Marquez 