Bridge Building, Civil Rights, Hope, Human Rights, Intersex Activist, Intersex Awareness, Intersex Erasure, Intersex People, Questions and Answers, Religion and Bridge Building

How to Add the “I” Responsibly to the LGBTQ+ Rainbow

The Intersex Flag

Here is a way to add the “I” for intersex, responsibly to LGBT+. Demographics show that about half of us intersex people identify as LGBTQ+ in some way.  Intersex people receive the collateral damage of homophobia, transphobia, queerphobia, and intersex phobia. Harm can come to intersex children and people when added to LGBTQ+ without accurate knowledge about us. So I offer below a solution.

Every time well-intentioned people use the wrong language, an intersex child is hurt by it. Here is how to add the “I” with responsibility and care:

Below are pages to print, and several essential links that you need to use as references or add to your webpage if you are an organization. It is so important that the parents of intersex children, and intersex adults, are guided to informed and safe people. LGBTQ safe professionals and safe transgender organizations at this point have not been educated or informed adequality.

Most importantly, these links and organizations below support that an intersex child has the human right to their self-determination of gender identity, sexual orientation, and gender expression. That being born intersex is about our sex and physical anatomical differences.

Below are organizations that support:

  • “No Body is Shameful” and to not enforce “born in the wrong body” binary male and female only theories of gender dysphoria.  That any child regardless of the genitals they were born with can be a boy, girl, both or neither, and it is up to that child to decide.
  • The Rights of the Child in hopes to end all non-consensual medically unnecessary genital and reproductive corrective surgeries.
  • Self-Determination of our own personal gender identity.
  • Genital Integrity | My Body My Choice | Delay is Okay
  • Protecting an intersex child from unnecessary sex reassignment genital corrective surgeries as a nonconsenting child.  
  • That being born Intersex is about having a bodily variation, not a condition, disorder or syndrome. 

Four PDF Files to print:

1) United Nations INTERSEX Factsheet from United Nations

2) Brief Guidelines for Intersex Allies 

3) Your Beautiful Child, Information for Parents 

4) Supporting Your Intersex Child – A Parent’s Toolkit PDF

5) To Change Medical Policies: Intersex Affirming Hospital Policies By IntersexACT and Lambda Legal

Links to add and make available on your websites or social media: 

1) InterACT Advocates for Intersex Youth:

and #4intersex (Educational Resources)

2) Intersex Campaign for Equality: IC4E

3) InterConnect Support | Support Embrace Educate Network 

4) Intersex Justice Project

5) Intersex Human Rights Australia; ihra

6) Organization Intersex International (World Wide Lists)

7) Houston Intersex Society 

8)  (Stop Intersex Genital Mutilation)  

9) Intersex and Faith

10)Mx. Anunnaki Ray Gender/INTERSEX Activist, Educator, Writer and Speaker

Facebook Support Group:  Intersex Support for Parents (Closed FaceBook Group)

For those outside of the United States: 

A list of:  Wold Wide Advocacy and Support for Intersex People.

Thank you for helping us to change this world! 

Imagine What Seven Billion

Let's Celebrate the Rainbow LGBTQIA+1.jpg

My thoughts about why we should add the “I” now:  Why I feel INTERSEX should be added to the LGBTQ rainbow

I will now use: MOGAI instead of LGBTQIA+

In this Rainbow Talk at the 2016 ILGA World Conference, Mani Bruce Mitchell speaks about intersex human rights and reminds us why we must not leave out the “I” in our advocacy efforts.  Mani shares in this: “We are Rainbows Within Rainbows”. 

“I respect anyones decision to not be LGBTQ, but we have to have historical accuracy and recognize that the prejudice that goes into the medical treatment of us is almost purely out of a want to keep people from being gay or trans. Homophobia and transphobia are driving forces behind our oppression and our liberation is linked deeply.”

Intersex Human Rights Australia | Demographics | By Admin on 28 July 2016

A note I posted to social media on March 1, 2020:

Screen Shot 2020-03-01 at 7.21.47 AM

The Indivisibility Flag Created For June Pride Month 2021 | By Eliana Rubashkyn (they/them)


10 thoughts on “How to Add the “I” Responsibly to the LGBTQ+ Rainbow”

  1. Thank you for sharing this. First, there is no reason to respect a decision not to be LGBT because it’s impossible. These aren’t things a person chooses in the first place. Whatever we are we can chose to hide, deny, pretend we’re something else but that is just like a left-handed​ person forced to use their right hand. They don’t stop being left-handed. They are a left handed person forced to use their right hand. As much as our society loathes people who do not conform or confine themselves to behaviors and mindsets of the heterosexual, gender-normative, anatomically “perfect” nobody can force people to “become” these things. It’s also not a good thing to try. Variation is the strength of a species because it holds the possibility of flexibility. Flexibility is needed to adapt to change and the only constant in the universe is change. Set aside the idea that sex, sexuality, and identity is something that can be selected for or against. That’s an error and is shot through with logical fallacies. Set aside the ideology that all people should only be heterosexual, gender-conforming and anatomically averaged for reproduction. That’s not a real world. That’s not how all this works. The liberation of all people is only achieved by asking questions, exploring possibilities, collecting evidence, playing with arguments and definitions and always being ready to change our minds when we learn new things. Get rid of trans and homophobia and we’re still left with a “belief” that it’s better to be anatomically perfect. We’re still stuck with the idea that women should have at least “C” cup breasts, that men with body hair are hideous, that the only acceptable penis is one that is a minimum of 5″ long erect, and that a clitoris is an embarrassing thing that should be ignored at best and is better not even named. The current fad in cosmetic surgery is to remove labia minora under the goof ball idea that it’s “ugly”. These are ridiculous membership requirements that we do indeed make up and then believe are true with no reason at all to think them. The sales pitches teach us to be self critical instead of seeing beauty keeps us forever locked in a delusion of inadequacy that begs expensive correction from whoever can sell us a promise of something we don’t need. There is a big difference between expanding and exploring and growing into our possibilities and allowing ourselves to be limited, cut away and shrunk into things that straight jacket us into smaller and smaller spaces.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. When they said “respect someone’s decision to not be LGBTQ,” they didn’t mean it in the usual way of stifling oneself to conform as if you are no longer gay, trans, or whatever simply because you hide it. I can understand why you’d think that, because that’s usually what people mean when they say it’s a choice. In this context, though, they mean a person’s decision not to identify with the larger LGBTQAI2S+ community even though they are intersex and acknowledge that they are. We’re not talking about denying that they’re intersex, we’re talking about some intersex people’s choice not to consider intersex part of the queer community, or at least not to consider themselves part of it.


      1. Yes, I 100% agree. Only about 50% of the intersex community is LGBTQ. We are truly no different than endosex people. Both endosex people and intersex people can agree with their birth certificate and consider themselves heterosexual. One is endosex if they are not intersex. Both endosex and intersex can be assigned wrong at birth too, and become something else with transistion. Thank you for your thoughts.


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