I have a few friends, like myself, who have horrible PTSD, and who were violated in various ways and also assigned the wrong gender. The cost: their genitals, fertility, not knowing what they would have naturally looked like, losing friends, losing family, losing their jobs; every aspect of their lives touched and sometimes destroyed by ignorance or outright bigotry.
We are the victims and survivors of attempted genocide and eugenics. Of course, we are broken and learning desperately to create a life for ourselves out of the pieces.
The Holidays are very hard for some of us. We do visit a dark place at times. We need your patience, your love, your empathy. Walk with us during the storms, do not try to fix us. Love us gently, listen with care, and be there for us.
There is no magic wand, no drug, no prescription, no amount of alcohol, no doctor, no perfect therapy that can fix this form of grief around being violated.
For me, learning to ride the storms is the only method that has worked. Knowing that these storms will end and to remember to dance in the rain, and hold on like hell during the tsunamis! I do not want to die, but wanting to end this pain is very real at times. I know of many intersex survivors who get this. Many of us don’t even feel like we are from this world, we feel like alien outcasts or alien visitors.
With all this said, most important I have learned to allow people to love me and go out of my way to love others who fight this same battle. This world has to stop hurting people like us and celebrate our births again.
Loving you, if you get this. Stay strong