Bridge Building · Human Rights · Human Rights Violations · Intersex Erasure · Relationships

Adding the “I” responsibly to LGBT

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A letter I shared on: Mx. Anunnaki Ray, Gender/Intersex Activist Facebook Page:

Sending a note, to simply say thank you again, for listening, and sharing this page. It is sometimes hard for people to hear about a culture different than their own, especially when daily the news can be so depressing and unimaginable.
I have actually discovered that since LGB are already marginalized, it is sometimes harder to get through to LGB people than typical people. Transgender are a lot easier, actually. I think because they are even more marginalized that LGB, and they too face drastic choices ahead of them when it comes to genital integrity and owning their true selves.
At times, I would rather give a talk to a room full of Baptists, closed minded people, than LGBT Equality workers. I don’t know if they will ever have it in their hearts, or energy to responsibility add the “I” here in my city. But until then some of us find it a blessing. Because instead of saying LGBT, those of us further outcasted and marginalized can say “LGBT and INTERSEX”. We get to say the entire word. That is pretty amazing actually! Because then questions are asked, and one can educate.
I used to think LGBTQIA+ was showing true inclusivity, and still am very proud to see that happening in some circles because it shows total inclusivity! But then I realized it could be just a careless act of adding letters, and not paying attention to the horrid atrocities we face with erasure, eugenics (abortion), and genocide (forced sterilization with non-consensual surgeries). It woke me up fast! YIKES! Please, please, do not add the “I” carelessly.
So, with all this said, since some of you are intersex allies, and messengers now, never forget to share about these atrocities, when you tell a person to add the “I”, or when you add the “I” Let this world know the horror allowed in the USA, and pretty much everywhere around this world.
This is the United Nations’ Fact Sheet, any intersex ally should study this at least once. Notice how they say “natural bodily variation”, for one, instead of “disorder”, “condition” or “syndrome”. Notice also that they validate the torture happening, with intersex genital mutilation (IGM), and ask this world to STOP. In changing speech we change culture and save bodies and lives.: The United Nations: Intersex Fact Sheet/Free & Equal
Again I thank you all,
Mx. Anunnaki Ray
www.anunnakiray.com
#StopIGM #UnitedNations #NaturalBodilyVariations #WeAreHuman #WeArePeople #HumanRights

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Intersex Activist · Questions and Answers

What I believe:

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I believe that the Self-Determination of Gender is a human right for all humans.  Gender to me, is like our personality.  It has nothing to do with our genitals, reproductive systems, chromosomes or hormones.  Therefore a woman can have a female penis, and a man can have a man’s vagina.  I also believe that if a person has no genitals, they can identify as any gender, or even have the right to have no gender.

I believe that all humans are born in the right body.  I do not like “born in the wrong body” theories.  It should be up to that individual to declare they feel dysphoric about their body, without society telling them they were born wrong. Gender experts giving out the diagnosis of “Gender Dysphoria” to everyone whose genitals do not fit the expectations of typical male or typical female can be very destructive.  I actually feel it is “cultural dysphoria”, and not “gender dysphoria”.

I believe that genitals, reproductive organs, chromosomes, and hormones do not create gender.  To me, gender is like our personality and a feeling within ourselves.  Again, I believe that some women can have a penis, and some men can have a vagina.  In intersex and transgender people it is fact that some women can have XY chromosomes, and some men can have XX chromosomes.  The presence of a Y chromosomes does not always create a male.

I believe that scientifically the brain can’t accurately be proven to be either male, or female.   Therefore,  also demonstrating that the Self-Determination of gender should be a human right for all humans.  Most science around the “female or male brain” is very bias, and based a social construct of what creates a girl or boy, man or woman.

I believe that no child or infant should be forced non-consensual genital corrective surgery or surgery without informed consent.   Our gender does not reside in the appearance of our genitals and changing our genitals doesn’t magically fix things.  In many cases the surgeries  have proven to cause great harm.  Especially if it happens to an infant or child, I consider corrective surgeries as genital mutilation and torture.

I believe that any well informed, and consenting adult, should have the right to modify their body, or genitals, as they feel it necessary.   However, it is my hope they are conforming due to their own personal needs , and not due to governmental, or societal expectations, or laws,  to “pass” as typical male or female.  I believe that all people, transgender or not, have the right to genital integrity. 

I believe that labels can be as helpful as they can be destructive.  All of us born LGBTQIA+ sometimes have to depend on these labels to declare and explain our different human rights needs.  I feel that the intersex community is very different from the rest of the LGBT experience,  and  my actions prove that I show respect for those who are LGBT.

I believe that some people (cis gender or transgender people), can later discover in life that they have intersex natural bodily variations,  a  difference is sex development, disorder of sexual development, DSD,  any intersex variation, or hormonal variations.   I have helped many into the intersex community to get support.  However, some stories we have heard are medically impossible.   It can do much harm to those of us who are true, when a person creates a tall tale about themselves being born intersex when they are not.  These untruths can harm intersex babies born to this world, and can even create falsehoods that harm all of us intersex people as a whole.

I believe that there is no such thing as the male and female binary system in nature.  However, I totally respect those who want to live as, or conform as, binary male/female. I believe that nature created naturally occurring bodily variations, and sometimes our genitals do not match what society says is male and female, and sometimes our personalities do not match what society says is male or female.

I believe that  gender non-conforming people, like my self, exist and that our human experience is just as valid as those who spend time conforming to male and female rules.  I will always believe that the male and female binary is a social construct.

I believe that the way people dress, cut their hair, desire to appear as, and act as, is truly more like a socialy learned gender performance for all of us.

Imagine What Seven Billion

Fix Society with Angel Feather
Hope for a Better World.

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Gender Nonconforming · Intersex Awareness · Intersex People · Questions and Answers · Self-Determination · Transgender

Intersex VS Intergender. Do Intersex Transexuals Exist?

What is Intersex?

Intersex is general term used for natural bodily variations in which a person is born with a reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male.  Some forms of intersex also naturally occurs after birth and later in life, however these are all naturally occurring bodily variations.  In humans, it is a variation in sex characteristics, including chromosomes, hormones, gonads, or genitals that do not allow an individual to be distinctly identified as male or female.

Just like anyone else, an intersex person can have any gender, sexual orientation, or gender expression. The “rules” of the heteronormative binary, male and female, often do not work for intersex people. Since intersex is a way to describe a person’s biological sex, it should not be confused as  gender identity  , or with transgender  gender identity issues.

Dyadic: A word used to describe someone who is not born intersex. Dyadic people are born with sex characteristics which could be categorized them either as typical female or typical male. Dyadic people can have any gender identity,  sexual orientation, or gender expression.

Note: In the past, and in some countries, the term “hermaphrodite” is used to describe people born intersex. Depending on the country or the person, this can be considered offensive. Always ask to make sure it is ok to use the word hermaphrodite. Please always ask if it is ok to say in your country. Some accept it, and some do not now.

To learn about some of the worse human rights violations known to this planet, please visit the United Nations Intersex Fact Sheet PDF.

What is Intergender?

Intergender is a gender identity that is considered a non binary term.  Some feel it fits under the transgender umbrella terms.  Intergender people have a gender identity that is in the middle between the binary genders of female and male, or lies on that spectrum between the binary genders of female and male.  Some inter gender people may be a mix of both.

Note: The word “intergender” has been independently coined by different people at different times, resulting in two main differences in meaning:

1. Some believe that this term, intergender, is an identity label that any person can use. Even if they are not intersex (dyadic) themselves, they can declare themselves intergender.

2. Others believe that “intergender” can only be used by people who are intersex, and that intergender is an identity only for intersex people.   Some believe that intersex people need words for their gender identities that correlate only with intersex bodies.  These people feel that in this case, dyadic nonbinary people should respect intersex people, by taking up a different non-binary label than intergender for themselves.  It might be more respectful if they used  androgyne, bigender, gender fluid or queer to describe themselves instead.

I personally believe that the Self-Determination of gender is the right of any person.  I believe any person has the right to declare themselves “intergender”.  However, only a naturally born intersex person, should declare themselves born “intersex”.  

The Gender expression of an Intergender person: 

Some intergender people see it as solely a matter of gender identity, and therefore do not feel they have to dress in a particular kind of gender expression. They may even be satisfied with an appearance that fits within the gender binary, and conform to societies expectations of how a typical female and typical male dresses; even though their gender identity does not conform to binary notions.  However, other intergender people will dress androgynous and have a gender expression that is a mixture of both typical male and female.   They may or may not,  express their intergender identity through their personality or activities such as crossdressing or “interdressing”.  They may or may not  the intentions of being seen as any particular gender.

The Assignment of Sex  VS  The Assignment of Gender 

Sex Assignment is done surgically and with the use of hormones, and requires a physician and surgeon.  Gender assignment is declaring one’s gender identity, and is a feeling within oneself.  Much like their personality, and does not require surgery or hormones to declare.

Note: Some people legally change their gender now, depending on the laws of their government, and do not ever feel they have to undergo sex assignment surgeries.

Intersex Transexual do exist, however they were born Dyadic NOT Intersex.

Transitioning to appearing “Intersex”

Some non binary people, who were born dyadic, have described their transition as one that will make their body more “intersex”, and call themselves female-to-intersex or male-to-intersex transsexuals.  Through surgical assignment, or with the aid of hormones, some intergender, or non binary people wish to transition to a body that has traits in between female and male, or wish it to be more like a naturally born intersex body.  These dyadic people may call themselves female to intersex, or male to intersex transsexuals, or female to intersex, or male to intersex transgender.

This type of person starts out as a dyadic person.  They were NOT born biologically as intersex.  They had  surgical or hormonal interventions to create “intersex” with the help of a surgeon or physician.  They often do these surgeries, so that their bodies can match their mind.  This type of person, I feel, does not have the right to claim they were born intersex.  They are simply a transexual, or transgender person, who has transitioned to appearing intersex.

If you are confused about certain definitions used, please visit my pages: LGBTQIA+ Definitions and Human Sexuality.  

WE ARE HUMAN with Feather

References used: 

Helpful LGBTQIA+ Definitions and  Human Sexuality

Nonbinary.org Wiki Intergender

Here is my autobiography:  About Mx. Anunnaki Ray 

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Uncategorized

Poem: The Sun Must Set to Rise

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I know the Sun must Set to Rise.

She had to die, to vanish, to let me emerge.

¤

Before, the only way I could be free was when I was sleeping.

I never dreamed as a girl.  

In my dreams I was my genuine self.

I would awaken in a prison each day.

So I would sleep.

I freed myself from that prison.

¤

To NOW love myself, and now I am  hated.

When before I hated myself, and was loved?

¤

Day is not better than night

Night is not Day 

¤

I loved make-up
I loved doing my hair feminine
I LOVED dressing as a woman

I love my baby dolls even.

¤
The sun must set to rise.

¤
I LOVE appearing a man
I LOVE my hairy body
I LOVE my beard

I love the musky smell of my sweat.

I Love my sword.

I love the blue as much as I loved pink.

¤
There is no dysphoria

Day is not night 

Night will never be day

Both are very good! 

¤

To NOW love myself, and know I am now hated.

When before I hated myself, and was loved

Oh the irony of that one!

¤

By Anunnaki Ray 

January 19th, 2017 


Dedicated to COLD PLAY -Paradise 

Cold Play – Paradise 

Lyrics
When she was just a girl she expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
So she ran away in her sleep and dreamed of
Para-para-paradise, para-para-paradise, para-para-paradise
Every time she closed her eyes

When she was just a girl she expected the world
But it flew away from her reach and the bullets catch in her teeth
Life goes on, it gets so heavy
The wheel breaks the butterfly every tear a waterfall
In the night the stormy night she’ll close her eyes
In the night the stormy night away she’d fly

And dream of para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise

She’d dream of para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise

La-la-la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
And so lying underneath those stormy skies
She’d say, “Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
I know the sun must set to rise”

This could be para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise

This could be para-para-paradise
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

This could be para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise

This could be para-para-paradise
Oh oh oh oh oh oh, oh, oh

This could be para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise

This could be para-para-paradise
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Written by William Champion, Christopher Anthony John Martin, Jonathan Mark Buckland, Brian Eno, Guy Rupert Berryman • Copyright © Peermusic Publishing, Universal Music Publishing Group, The Royalty Network Inc.

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Intersex Activist · Intersex Awareness · Intersex People · Prejudice

Judi Herring, M.D. and I talking to the City Council, about INTERSEX in Jacksonville, Florida, regarding the LGBT Human Rights Ordinance (HRO)

A year ago today, these are the two live videos of what Judi Herring, M.D. and I shared to the City Council, regarding getting the Jacksonville, Florida, LGBT Human Rights Ordinance, back in January of 2016.

Sharing again, because this ‘LGBT HRO’ did not pass.  This was about a year ago today:  

What Judi Herring, M.D. said: 

“Clearly, all of you know that as legislators it is your responsibility to be fully informed, and in the matter of the HRO, being fully informed means being informed about the natural variations that occur in sex development. That’s something that’s a pertinent issue as one considers the language: words like ‘natural’ and ‘biologic’ and the labels that have been moved around. That includes being aware of people with intersex traits.

Just to be clear there’ve been a lot of statistics discussed. At the very least the statistics support that the incidence of people born with intersex traits is 1 in 2000, which is the same as in with redheads. But in reality, it is probably more frequent than that.”

“Obviously you know it is your responsibility to be informed. I want to offer a couple of references — one will only take 14 minutes. It’s available on YouTube. It talks about the naturally occurring variations of gender and sex development. The name is ‘Gender Bound: Lessons from the World Between.’ Fourteen minutes will allow you to have a broader perspective about the legislative downstream implications of what you’re considering.

For those who are looking toward a faith-based reference, there is a writer who released a book in 2014, I believe. The name is Megan DeFranza. Megan is an Evangelical Christian who explored the details of gender relative to her interest in becoming a theologian and discovered intersex and has a very rigorous analysis of the biblical and religious text that address that.”


What I said back in 2016 and still holds true to day, since the HRO did not pass last year: 

“I was born intersex and I am one of those very rare people that are hardly ever heard.

I am not part of the LGBT acronyms, but yet, if the HRO is not passed, it is going to affect my family.

I was born, was declared female, was raised female, and it was not my true gender, and it made me extremely sick.

I’ve been with my husband for 20 years, we’ve been together as a couple for 27. I have 3 children, we adopted our youngest, and we now appear as a gay couple. And I am being mixed up as transgender. Even prior to my reclaiming my gender, I received prejudice in the hospitals here in Jacksonville as an intersex person because of my body being what it is.

Now that I am reclaiming myself and we appear a gay couple, it becomes even more confusing to people. This is a serious situation where we receive the collateral damage of such ordinances not being passed because of people not paying attention to all the different types of human beings that are out there.

Intersex traits are as common as redheads. This is pretty serious here. That means there are going to be babies born right here in Jacksonville like me if given the right to express their true gender that are going to look queer, that are not going to fit into your binary boxes, and may appear lesbian or gay or transgender. This is a huge problem.

There is no correct bathroom for me. And not once have I ever thought of doing anything strange in the bathrooms.

The fear and ignorance I am hearing is profound, and as an intersex person I hope that each and every one of you educate yourself about gender because it’s very concerning to me what I see happening to my transgender friends, what I see happening to my gay and lesbian friends, and it is definitely a concern when I see all the harm that has been done to the intersex community because of this lack of understanding around gender.”


Today the LGBT HRO has still not passed:

It is now 2017, and after two failed attempts in trying to get the LGBT HRO passed,  the Equality groups are still trying.  Maybe this year will be the year.

You can read more here: It’s Time to Update Jacksonville’s Human Rights Ordinance and Group outlines new bid for HRO protections 


End Note:  

Here are two links to the things Judi referred to in her speech to the City Council below:

1) TEDx Talk, Gender Bound, with Judi Herring, M.D.: 

2) Here is a faith based book, by Dr. Megan DeFranza: “Sex Difference in Christian Theology: Male, Female, and Intersex in the Image of God: Male, Female, and Intersex in the Image of God”

Below is a video about this: “Lianne Simon and Dr. Megan DeFranza: Intersex Christians and the Image of God”

WE ARE HUMAN with Feather

Memes I made regarding my frustration around “LGBT” excluding “intersex”, here in Jacksonville, Florida: 

Can we all UNITED as SEXUAL MINORITIES?

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Intersex Erasure Hurts

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Anonymous Messages · Human Rights · Human Rights Violations · Intersex Awareness · Short Messages · United Nations

An Anonymous Message From an Intersex Survivor of Non-consensual​ Surgery.

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I want people to see what I get to see as an intersex advocate, educator and as a friend.  I received permission to publish this heart breaking response from a Facebook friend of mine who has survived non-consensual surgery as a child.  It was in response to the meme you see above:  

I am trying, it kills me to think that it’s still happening.  If only people knew what happens and what happens later on in life.  It’s a jail sentence for a crime us intersex individuals have to face in every aspect of our lives.

This cruel medical practice must stop, and I say to any mother or father in a position of having to make a choice on the matter please, please I beg of you with tears in my eyes, love you child, love them completely, love them with all the night in your heart, but please don’t destroy their body.

It’s a hard life, and a mental Truma I live with every day of my life.  Please all you need is to love and accept that your beautiful baby is normal and is not a deformative disorder.  Intersex is beautiful.

This person will never get restitution.   At this time only Malta and Chile have out lawed non-consensual corrective surgeries on intersex infants.  Below is what the United Nations says about it:

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Here is the United Nations’Intersex Fact Sheet

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Related Blogs about Malta and Chile (Flag Pin shown above): 

When will the rest of the world catch up with Malta?

Chile outlawed unnecessary Genital “Normalizing” Surgeries on Intersex Babies! 2nd country to do so since last April 2015, when Malta was the first.

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#StopIGM = Stop Intersex Genital Mutilation 

#NoBodyIsShameful 

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Bridge Building · Celebrations · Emancipation · Freedom · Gender Nonconforming · Human Rights Violations · Intersex Activist · Intersex Awareness · Questions and Answers · Relationships

The two of us, born intersex and named ‘Antoinette’ at our birth.

God-incidence or Serendipity? 

What ever you call it, it felt like a miracle.  

I was finally coming to terms with who I was as a human being.  This was after having a life time of not feeling real, and being thrown away by many doctors, therapist and psychiatrists, who had tried to ‘fix me’.  

I was an Intersex human being.  Not male, not female, something in between.

The fact is, back in the late 60’s, when I was born I was assigned a girl.  My mother had once shared she wanted a little boy named Anthony, but instead she would have to turn that name into:

Antoinette

My nickname as a teen ‘girl’ would later become

Toni and Ant

Little did anyone know, somewhere around the world in Australia, another miracle was born intersex.  They too were named a girls name, and assigned female and that name was: 

Antoinette 

And their nickname would later become

Tony

And here we were, meeting on Facebook for the first time, March 2015, and have become dear friends ever since!  Wow! 

Here is that story: It was October 2014, when I finally decided I would never do the things to conform as a typical women ever again.  I had gotten very sick and disabled.  Doctors did not know how to help me, and most had given up on me and  I had gotten used to be patient abandoned for not wanting to endure their medical regimen. I quickly became sexually taboo.

I did not want to lose my beauty.  I always felt like an androgynous person.  I emerge from  a wheelchair, and a cane.  Disability had become my reality.  I was sleeping in my house, up to sixteen hours a day in a hospital bed, because I could not even lay down flat anymore.  I felt I might die.  I received my disability by my country even.  I wished for death, that is for sure, and everyone who knew me back then knew how sick I had become.

I then figured out I could get better eating a special diet and by changing my hormones and by honoring my own truth. Soon after that I started to search other people born intersex like me.  There they were, the two articles about Tony Briffa, from Australia.

At first glance, I did not see the coincidence at first.  

I read, and there it was, their birth name:

Antoinette 

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When Tony Briffa was seven years old doctors in Australia made a choice that was never theirs to make – castration.
Tony was born with healthy testes, as well as a vagina, and doctors decided it made more sense for Tony to live life as a woman – called Antoinette.
But Tony – who was born intersex – never felt comfortable being a woman, or a man for that matter.
“Nature – many would say God – made me a healthy hermaphrodite… I tried my best to be a woman but I couldn’t keep up the lie forever. Something was going to give.
“At 30 I rejected what the doctors had done to me and started living life as a man. I was open about my past, about the way I was born, and what doctors had done to me. Now, at the age of 44, I am comfortable explaining I am both a man and a woman,” Tony tells Times of Malta.

Taken from: ‘Healthy Hermaphrodite’ is both man and woman

And another one about Tony Briffa

At birth, Tony Briffa’s doctors couldn’t determine his gender. He had a rare intersex condition known as Incomplete Testicular Feminisation that made his gonads release estrogen even though he genetically tested as male. So on his doctor’s advice his parents raised him as a girl named Antoinette—they painted his room pink, gave him dolls at Christmas and made him wear frilly dresses to school.

The frequent hospital visits for hormone therapy and surgery made him feel like a freak: his parents had him castrated at age seven and even though he told his doctors as a pre-teen that he felt like a boy, they ignored him and continued administering female hormone therapy, something that filled him with desperation and thoughts of suicide as he entered his teenage years.

Taken from: The Amazing Heartbreaking Story of Tony Briffa, The World’s First Openly Intersex Mayor

That day I wrote Tony.  I was confused back then after being guided by misinformed doctors and psychiatrist.  My first notes to them no doubt reflected such confusion.  To my doctors here, I remain a disorder, a syndrome and a medical condition.  They were  even trying to convince me I was transgender.   The medical system in the USA can be very confused about intersex and gender.

I knew one thing, without permission from those who had been surgically violated, I was not going to use the word “intersex”or “hermaphrodite”.   My heart was secretly broken by what has happened to their bodies surgically, without consent as a child.   I did not want to offend anyone.  I had been violated, but it had been mostly by psychiatry.  My physical body remains whole, what would they say?

So, with much bravery I also reached out to six amazing people born intersex: Tony Briffa, along with Tiger Devore, Ph.D.,  Cary Costello, Hida Viloria, Gavan H. Coleman, and Pidgeon Pagonis.  Six of the most tolerant and loving people I have ever met on this Earth.  Around that same time my path would also cross with Judi Herring, M.D., who had created the TEDx months before meeting me: Gender Bound, Lessons from the World Between.   This too, will always feel like a god-incidence and serendipity!  Judi and I have been working together ever since September 2015.  Together we have done public talks, speaking to schools, visiting the city council, and have even spoken to the human rights commissioner here in our city.  We have become very dear and close friends.

Wow, with the opinion of all of them,  I  learned that I was not born a “freak”,  a “disorder”, “syndrome”,  or “condition”, and I surely  was not “mentally derange”!  With that permission, and blessing form all of them, and with Judi Herring, M.D. standing by my side,  I became empowered!  I decided to tell the world I too was born intersex, and share my intersex story .  It has been a huge honor to add  my message to theirs in ending tragedy from happening to one more innocent child.

One thing that is most amazing, is that all of us have two big things in common.   First, we all find it very special that we were all born BOTH  male and female, and most of all we like to celebrate it.   All of us are also  gender nonconforming too,  but in different ways!   To me that is serendipity at it’s best!  

The second thing we have in common, is we all have over came so much trauma, due not conforming to the male and female binary.  With that experience and pain, each of us have taken all that ugliness, and all our  bad experiences,  and now help the world with it. 

So there you have it!  

Two people born with natural bodily variations, known as INTERSEX, with the same birth name

Antoinette!  

Planet Earth is an amazing small place when you start to think about it!   

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Mx. Anunnaki Ray November 2016

Thank you for visiting my intersex story!  

You can read here:  Why did I named myself Anunnaki Ray.

Please also visit the UNITED NATIONS’ INTERSEX FACT SHEET, to learn more about intersex violations and what you personally can do yo help us end it. 

UNITED WE WILL CHANGE THIS WORLD!


End Note:  An intersex person can have any gender identity, and any sexual orientation.   Also, our biological sex does not equal our gender.  I believe that the Self-determination of Gender is our Human Right, and that our sexuality should not be decided for us as children,  our parents, by medical, psychological experts, or the government.   


You can watch Tony Briffa here with their life story here: 

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