I now don’t like saying “non-binary gender”, even though I get what it means and I know thousands of people identify using this term.
This is why I don’t like saying non-binary gender:
First, when I say “Non-binary gender” I am admitting there are only two binary genders: man and woman.
Us humans can have any gender identity. People born with intersex bodily variations can have any gender identity. We can be a man, woman, both, or neither. It is important to stop conflating biological bodies with gender identity. They are not one and the same and they do not always match what is common. An intersex person can have the gender identity of a man or a woman and their genitals do not have to match binary notions.
I truly believe that the male/female binary system is a social construct and myth that erases intersex existence. The male/female binary system is the human construct of a patriarchy that is penis obsessed and wants to make sure girls don’t get to penetrate. Intersex bodily variations have existed since humans have walked the Earth.
The “female” penis and the “male” vagina is nothing new, in other words. A person that appears masculine or identifies as a man can have a vagina. A person that appears feminine and identifies as a woman can have a penis. Some people won’t identify as men or woman, and they have the right to call themselves nonconforming or non-binary. It may or may not have anything to do with their genitals too. However, I now will never refer to myself as non-binary again. I like to now call myself an intersex, nonconforming, androgynous gay man.
Here is my TEDx Born Intersex: we are human, where I share more.
I write more about this topic here:
Here is Judi Herring, M.D.’s TEDxTalk that talks about the above quote: